What's the difference between a seagull and a guitarist?
>>>The seagull can still leave a deposit on a BMW.

A drunk is at the bar late one night. He comes out of the bathroom with vomit all over his shirt. He says to the bartender, "my wife is gonna kill me, she'll know I was drinking too much again." Bartender says, "here's $5...tell her some other drunk puked on you and gave you the money to clean your shirt." Relieved that he has a believable lie, he heads home. His wife sees his shirt, but before she can lay into him he tells his story and points to the five poking halfway out his shirt pocket. She replies, "he gave you $5 to clean it eh? Well then where did the other $5 right next to it come from?"
The drunk replies, "oh yeah, that stupid drunk crapped in my pants too!"