1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know
where my watch is pal! Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the
toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire
room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change
the
channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too".
Damn right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it
is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it?
Do really people
do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their ass!
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser,
I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me
a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new,
then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement,
then
there must have been something before it.
8. When people say "life is short". Life is the longest damn thing
anyone ever does!! What can you do that's
longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come
yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?
I got this in an e-mail and thought it was hilarious because I've either done/said/or though about almost all of these things. What do you think?
Sometimes I hit notes only dogs can hear.
