ok, I was serious though! my friend who I'm trying to get to learn to play drums has pointy ears that look like elf ears... my other friend (who plays bass) is so fircken lazy that we call him a sloth... and then for vocals, I was trying to think of someone that I knew that could sing, the only that came to my mind was my girlfriend, who can sing extremely well, (she sang at our county fair last month) and she is totally a princess (long story, I'm not trying to say she's high maitenance or anything, but, even she'll tell you that she is a princess.)
we actually don't have a band at all. first of all, my friend (the elf) doesn't even own a drumset. and my other friend only just started taking bass lessons only 2 or 3 months ago... plus my girlfriend probably wouldn't want to sing in a band consisting of us three... just cause she would want to sing something a little more pop-ish, and we would want to play metal-ish. though maybe we could compromise and just do some evanescence covers.