We can sit and argue about how this blog can't possibly be written by Vader all day, but we've forgotten to take one thing into consideration: he's Darth ****ing Vader. It doesn't matter if it's a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, because Darth Vader would kick ass and take names all the way over to this galaxy. How could he live so long, you ask? He's more machine than man now.

Now I know some of you are saying, "but Darth Vader dies in the third movie!" **** you. How dare you. Darth Vader can't die. If you strike him down he will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.