I understand how you feel and where you're comming from, though, I can't express things as vocally as you. I wish I could, but when it comes to words, it's all I can do to say what I do say. I completely understand what you mean about the girls not "existing". I call it not having a personality/character of their own, i.e. being someone they think their "friends" will accept. I also know how you feel about being a hermit. I am very to myself. After my pop's got re-married and moved out I bought this house I live in now (which is the same house I've lived in for the 25 years of my existance). It's wonderful to come home from work and be able to close myself off from the rest of the world, and ingulf myself in my music (probably the only thing that keeps me half way sain). I also understand the people watcher thing. People alway's ask me why I'm so quiet or shy, but it's not that I am quiet or shy, it's just that I pay close attention to those around me. I pay attention to body language, vocal dynamics, dialect, etc... I don't really know why other than I find it interesting. Also, I'm sorry to hear about your cat. I recently had to put my dog to sleep. It was really hard for me though, because he was the only person I could REALY talk to. Pet's are a wonderful thing whether it's a snake, bird, cat, or dog, because they're not going to judge you no matter what, and all they care about is your happiness. I don't guess I have much of a point to my post other than I understand what you're talking about. If you ever feel you need to talk about any of this on a deeper level, feel free to e-mail me. Take care...