View post (my cliche song)

View thread

crazywolf
Samson
Joined: 01/26/05
Posts: 371
crazywolf
Samson
Joined: 01/26/05
Posts: 371
02/16/2005 6:53 am
Originally Posted by: iihollyI'm not into rhyming, I think it adds cheesiness to lyrics or poetry.

Thats cool, neither am I all the time.
It's a little hard to comment on the lyrics because I don't know how it's supposed to sound, or the exact rhythm; all that is in your head, but i'll try my best.
chorus-positivitives is a sweet word!! Making up words is often a cool
thing to do.
verse 1- In the second half of the verse, it sounds like you are trying to cram
too many words in there, but, I dont know how it sounds in your head
and may sound just fine.
verse 2-gracefully doesn't seem to fit in with the rhythm of the rest of the
verse.
bridge-NC

Over all, I thought it sounded pretty cool! Before I read the song, I thought it was going to be a cliche overload, which could be cool. Yeah, there were a lot of cliches, but it didn't seem insanely obvious thats what you were going for. They were a little subtle, which I thought was real cool. Withought hearing the music or how the lyrics are suppoed to flow, I would give it a B+.
Hope that helps.
1 Peter 2:16