hi guys hey chuck seems your not alone mate,its good to know there are people who dont know you ,yet open there hearts on there personal experiences to help out a fellow carbon based lifeform .ive been there too not so long ago did something silly with a piece of rope wifey saved me and even though my life isnt exactly how i want it i have LIFE. and where theres life theres hope .got three kids i think now the mess i would have left behind if i had succeeded.talking helps .stay with it!