Originally Posted by: Jolly McJollysonYAY!

hmm...Very U2...try to work a little more on the vocals in respect to timber and tonality. I was never a HUGE fan of these lyrics, but I'm an idiot when it comes to lyrics, so pay no heed. I like the song. However, I wish the melody
were a BIT catchier, but that might ruin the syllable count...

Very U2??? That was not intended, but certainly is a good thing!

Yeah, I hate-- no, abhor-- my voice, but it was my song, so I sang it instead of my bassist, who normally sings.

The lyrics are pretty personal to me, so it's hard to think of changing them. So I hope I get a second opinion.

What do you mean re: melody / syllables? I don't really see a connection.

As for "catchiness", I'm just happy that I was able to write and record a half-decent song! I've been trying for a loooong time now, and it always seems more and more daunting of a task. I feel like I should just give up and go to a studio....