I know that there are a lot of songs that we tend to put on the back burner, well for a lot of reasons. We want to forget the past, moving forward with progression. And there are a lot of songs that we just can't let go of. It's safe to say that we all haven't had the most healthy share of relationships over the past five years. And think about it, five years, now that's a long time, longer than we even want to contemplate.
I mean I can't even rememnber if I ate breakfast a few days ago, especially with everything that has been going on. But with music, certain songs help us remember certain moments from our past, as if it was just yesterday.
It's a big let down,to even imagine a world where we can't choose the memories that we want to keep in store. We can't always choose how we want to remember those special moments, or even the most confusing situations in our lives. But we can create multiple definitions, for why we put ourselves in such turmoil to begin with.
I'm not the most luckiest guy in the world, because if that was true, than my plan for reality, (the same plan that seemed indestructable three years ago) would display itself before me. However, we deal with certain let downs in our lives, and we don't cry over the spilt milk. We just let it be, what it will be.
Radiohead, I listen to this band, and I can't wondering where their lyrics came from, or even their choice of melodies, but it all ties together with certain moments in their lives. The particular song "Let Down" off of O.K. Computer, I used to listen to this song just like it was nothing, it didn't affect me much, nor did I think it was anything too special.
However, there was just this one moment, of total silence...A few years ago, I was in a car with my girlfriend, we couldn't find the words to express how we were feeling at the time. I popped my tape (OK computer) in the recorder, as I was stuck in traffic, I really listened to the song "Let Down" for all it was worth, and that was the beginning of the end.
Ever since I really started to listen to that song, we started listening to each other, and we admitted to ourselves that our relationship was going nowhere. We admitted that we were both going in two sepeate directions.
It's sad when you think about it, because what if we just kept traveling down that narrow road, what if we continued to fool ourselves, letting silence rule our lives. Perhaps we would have snapped out of it all, or perhaps not. But overall, we could no longer afford to ruin a really good thing, and that was our friendship.
Fo the life of me I can not understand why we have still remained friends after all of these years. However I think in a way we do need each other, even if we don't know why just yet. Hopefully we'll understand soon.
Still, because of situations like these, we bury certain records under the bed, afraid of opening up new wounds. However, I don't live with fear, nor am I afraid to delve into my past. Because I've learned a lot about myself, through people, and through music. And for the most part (at least most of the time) I'm pretty thankful.
So, are their certain songs that you've been afraid to listen to over the past few years, (because of who, and what they remind you of?) Or are you thankful for these moments of self discovery? Even if they did run your life, (in some ways.)
-Joseph
www.ragmagazine.com
"Swoop and soar like the blues angels."
"Swoop and soar like the blues angels."
