I would experiment with different fingerings before different chords. For example:

I play what Lisa calls the "pinkie G". I find it makes transitions to other chords easier.

Even though I bought a wide neck guitar, I still have trouble with the "A" chord because of my large fingers. I absolutely cannot play using 1,2,3 fingers. I can barely squeeze the 2,3,4 fingers in, and it feels clumsy. For now I am using a sort of modified barre, where my index hits the two "lowest" strings, and my middle frets the third. This is easiest for the song I am practicing now.

On both of those chords, I may use different fingering in the future on different song progressions.

I can totally sympathize with frustration. I have only been playing since October, and my slow progress with moving through basic open chords is very challenging mentally. I generally do not like to do things that I am not naturally good at. I have expectations that I will learn quickly, and make fast progress in all things I do. If not, I tend to not do them. I am sticking with the guitar, and working through my "issues", but it is not easy.