Just a suggestion - change:
(hardcore vocals)
Push the knife deep into my chest.
The blood is as warm as a summer day.
to:
Push the knife deep into your chest
Your blood darkens a sunny day
sounds more hardcore...killing the girl instead of yourself. The "Come back to me" at the end will sorta fit like the guy is trying to take back what he did.
...another toy, to help destroy, the elder race of man
