I hear ya all, I used to jam with a bunch of guys the drugs and alcohol flowed more than the music, then the women, then the violence, then the jealousy; I ended up getting thrown around like a rag doll by some meathead at a jam resulting in a dislocated shoulder, fractured hand etc. .That was the last straw for me, I checked myself into a recovery centre.
Sobering up I realized I had to learn to live and play sober. And it is totally worth it, now my mind is clear enough to read music, write it teach it etc.

Bless ya awl