Hi, You didn't mention make or model of your guitar (Most Important).If you are beginning its not good to play on a dog of a guitar,dont believe any of that the harder you push your strings the stronger your fingers get Crap!You obviously have a bowed neck and need your truss rod adjusted, but some cheaper guitars are beyond help.If you let us know the guitar you have it would help more.By the way the 12th fret gap is measured with your finger fretting the first and last fret also the radius (the curve on the face of your neck determines string height as flatter boards ie:Ibanez can have a more uniform action compared to say a low action on a fender as the strings will choke when bent then there are personal preferences, but that aside you just want a action that isn't gonna break your fingers as I said if your guitar is el chepo save up for a medium priced guitar that will have all those worries sorted for you so you can get to playing and not weight lifting resistance exercising.