I do agree with Looney on the focus thing. I mean really this song is fine if like I said it has good music to go with it. But in the future if you focus more on actually telling a story or communicating a full idea then your songs will just be more meaningful.

As far as the length like I said I like long songs, but looney is saying that it is too long for radio playtime which it probably is, but honestly thats not something I give a rats ass about. I haven't heard any decent new music on the radio in ages.

In my opinion music shouldn't be a commodity that is designed to sell and who's creation is based around some formula or template that statistics say sells better than whatever else.

That said if you want to write songs that will get played on the radio then thats great I don't look down on that or anything and a lot of people just write shorter songs so they don't have to worry about it. You could probably fit this song in under four to four and a half minutes if you don't pack it full of instrumental parts.

But whatever, the point is don't worry about whether a song is "too long" or anything really until you write it. If it drags and becomes uninteresting then thats when you know it's too long, not if it exceeds four minutes. You do have a lot of repeating like I said so that is something that I would assume gets adjusted as you write and play the song.

If you want to add anything to this song I would add a conclusion of some sort. Either positive or negative who knows it's your song, or you may just want it to end un-concluded and thats fine.

As far as tutorials go I'm not sure there have to be a few. Anything I have found has really helped very little, the best thing I can recommend is to find someone who knows how to record and watch them do it, same with mixing and stuff too. It's one of those things that really just has basic rules and then you sorta just make it up as you go and try to find the sound you want.