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looneytunes
Registered User
Joined: 10/02/07
Posts: 249
looneytunes
Registered User
Joined: 10/02/07
Posts: 249
01/14/2008 1:03 pm
You need to work on structure and rhyme. Tell your story, the whole story. I suggest taking a song writing course or atleast purchase a songwriting book.

Just my opinion.

Good Day!