Warning: I doubt that most of you guys would actually like to step into the vault, and would actually like to visit my world, and to try and understand how I feel, or what I've been going through over the past few years. But anyway, I've given you free admission into my head, a chance to really analyze my thoughts. I'm in a very impulsive mood tonight, and there's just no stopping me. But if you would rather skip my life story, just answer this one special question, What's the one song that changed your life for the better, where everytime you hear it, it reminds you of the one special person in your life, your past, or future? I thought you guys would find it simple, :D


With the recent attacks on our country, and from seeing all of this destruction before us, it kind of gives us a heightened perspective on life. It helps us realize what's most important to us, and that those fickle arguments don't really mean a thing at the end of the day.

My Story:

I've just been trying to sit back and try to remember a time in my life when everything felt like it was in place, when I was very happy with my every decision, where everything stood still and nothing mattered at all.

It's safe to say that we can never really relive those moments, (that is if they ever existed) because half the time those momwents where just part of our imafgination, becaiuse love sometimes tends to put us int a delirious state of mind.

The longest relationship I was in, it lasted about three years, and I cherrished every moment I spent with this one gorl. We did everything with one another, and we were very honest, a quality that has seemed to die in this day in age.

With music, there's always that one song that reminded you to start living again, and it reminded you that love is never hopeless. I was friends with this girl before things got serious, and friendship and romance, that's a dangerous combination, however they seem to go together without us even knowing it. It helps build longevity, and makes us stronger along the way. However, back to that song, it would be nice if we can choose that one song that will change our life forever, but we're lucky if we can find it.


However, for me that one song that really helped me realize how lucky I was to fall in love with my best friend was Led Zeppelin's "The Rain song." Because words couldn't describe how I was feeling three years ago, all I knew was that everything was perfect. There's just something about this song, where everytime I hear it, it takes me back to those wonderful moments I spent with that very special woman in my life.



I think it's great when two people strongly (and consciencely) want to spend the rest of their lives together, or at least have intentions of doing so.

You know ever since we were young, we've done our best to dream up the perfect woman, and the perfect lives for ourselves. We always wondered what it would be like to finally meet her, and to just go with our feelings without analyzing our every move.

However, that's only in tv land, where we meet that one special girl, where complications don't exist. But sometimes, somethings don't have to be complicated, especially if both people truly have a strong love for each other, where they can put their pride aside to try and truly understand.

With "this thing" going with this girl, and I thought that we were going to spend the rest of our lives together You know how it is when you have that perfect connection, and you just don't feel the need to question why things are going so good. Well I think that was our problem, we were afraid to question the possible negative aspects of our life together. We just focused on the good spots.

Although, while, I was looking ahead toward our future, she was just happy with the way things were going, very simplistic, without too many complications. However, regardless on whether or not I pushed too hard, it was only because I really thought that what we had was strong enough to take such risks.

We discussed marriage, however there were no surprises, and the question wasn't exactly popped. It was like a regular episode of Seinfeld, where we both discussed the good points and bad points of marriage, and if we should just go through with it. This one episode (of Seinfeld) with Elaine And Jerry comes to mind, where they casually discussed of they should risk their friendship because of their impulses to once agaijnh start a "sexual relationship."

Anyway, I think that some of the mistakes in our relationship was due to the fact that we were too open with each other, too honest, where there just wasn't enough room for surprises. Although we came to an understanding that we didn't appreciate surprises, it was obvious that it was something that was definitely lacking on our part.


I could sit here and try to figure out why we didn't get married, or even why we've managed to remain friends after something like this. It kind of has a way of taking cheap shots at your pride, and ability to understand life and your natural position of this earth.

Since then, my future relationhips have suffered, and I know that for a fact. Basically there's some unfinished business between us, and some answers that I never really got. It's not exactly that I'm afraid to keep asking, but it's more like she doesn't even know she has the answers, which I believe is to be true.

She was afraid of commitment going into this thing, and I knew that, and that is possibly would never change. Perhaps I could have continued sipping coffee with her, in that same spot near the side window, and I could have just turned the other way as our lives gradually moved in different directions, but I guess that's beyond my nature as a human being. I guess it's just not worth it to sacrifice my sanity, for a little (temporary happiness.)


So reach into your vault, foind the key, and share your stories.

-Joseph



[Edited by Joseph on 10-09-2001 at 01:06 AM]