Well Drew, at first I started downloading backing tracks ... A LOT of backing track, even if they were only midi files. I would take one backing track and figure out the chords used. Then I would try to find a scale that I could use over it. You can imagine how long that took lol . Once I got a scale I liked, I would jam and jam and jam until I started associating patterns with certain sounds. It usually takes me a few bars before I can figure it out what patterns/shapes to use.

I guess with time my ear became better too with all the jamming.

The problem was that even if someone told me to use that scale over that progression, it wouldn't stick. I forgot about it the next day but since I tried to figure it out myself, I actually was able to find a way to remember the shapes. That's how I am. That's how I was in school too, I didn't always grasp what they were teaching until I got home and did my homework lol