...He popped the collar up on his wool coat, snugged his wool hat down around his ears, jammed his gloved hands deep inside his pockets and bent his head low as he walked. The wind howled through the concrete canyons of downtown Pittsburgh reaching a high pitched keening that made his ears ache. My God, he thought, even my freakin' nose hair is frozen.

As he walked against the wind coming off of the ice floe choked Ohio river, taking small, stabbing steps towards his office, he found himself choking down a scream. WINTER STINKS. WINTER IN PITTSBURGH STINKS EXPONENTIONALLY...AGGHHHH. AND ENOUGH OF THE STUPID WIND CHILL. WHEN IT'S ZERO, IT'S COLD. IT'S FREAKIN' COLD. I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE WIND CHILL. AND HEY AL, WHERE'S THE GLOBAL WARMING, HUH? I'M GONNA SPRAY A CAN OF DEODORANT UP IN THE SKY WHEN I GET HOME, I SWEAR!

But a small smile began to curl at the edges of his taut mouth. At least that little rat up north said spring is right around the corner. Yeah right. If I ever see him, I swear I'll yank him out of that little hole and whack him upside the head....

Yup. I hate winter too. Ugh.