Originally Posted by: lyricchicThough I doubt I can follow Jolly's awesomeness, I'm gonna throw this in anyway. It's the beginning of a book for young adults (teens), so it's a bit childish.

I'm very flattered by the compliment, but try not to think like that. All styles are different, and your work has a different target audience than mine. If something meant for young adults had allusions to Procrustes it'd be a little out of place. That said, I'ma read this now.