Nicely done!

Question: Why in the world would you suggest that this is 'not very good'? Oh, I disagree. Vehemently. It IS a good story. It does the one thing that seems to miss so many writers; it tells a story. I know, I know, that sounds a little strange but one thing that so many writers do is they try to amaze people with their erudite and scholarly gymnastics that they forget the primary focus which is to tell a story.

So you did what you set out to do which was to tell a story in a way that brings wonderful, if not down-right chilling, images to the reader.

Again I say, nicely done! :)