Originally Posted by: aschlemanwhen jimi says six is nine
it's alright with him, then i don't mind

That's the only part I really didn't like. For one thing, it's very similar to the actual line in "If 6 Was 9," and I find that a little too derivative. Also, you use the "six is nine" reference later in the song, (where I think it fits much better,) and I don't think there's any need to bring it up twice.

I would try and change that, but the rest seems pretty good to me.