Fret wear is normal... especially if you play a lot. If it's a big issue, you can take it to a tech and get the frets crowned. This means that they'll take a file and file away just enough of the fret to even it out... pretty much just smoothing and leveling the fret wire. OR, in extreme cases you can get a fret job... where they'll complete remove the frets and replace them.
The issue that concerns me with your situation is that you say when you do vibrato it scratches... that's not normal. Normal fret wear is pretty uniform to wear the string contacts the fret... And it usually wears pretty smooth so when you bend or virbrato there shouldn't be an issue. There may be something different about your fret wear. I'm going to dig up an old thread that has to deal with certain types of fret wire that "flake" away... I'll post it when I dig it up.