Here is an argument my dad and I had during supper. Soon you will see why I hate arguing with him.

It all started when I picked up a chicken wing and stretched it out.

Me: It's remarkable how much this looks like a leg.
Dad: That's because it is a leg.
Me: Actually, it's a wing.
Dad: A wing is a leg.
Me: What? How?
Dad: A wing is a leg.
Me: How the hell do you figure that?
Dad: Just look at that wing. Looks like a leg. The bone structure.
Me: (laughing) That doesn't make a wing the same as a leg.
Dad: Sure it does. A wing is just a leg at a different point in evolution.
Me: Huh?
Dad: What the chickens had long ago was four legs, then they evolved into wings [I don't know if this is actually true, but I went along with it for the sake of argument].
Me: So, wings were legs.
Dad: Yeah, wings are legs.
Me: No, they're not. They were once, but they're not anymore.
Dad: Sure they are. There's not even any argument about it.
Me: So you would refer to wings as legs?
Dad: Yes.
Me: Would you refer to chickens as four-legged creatures?
Dad: No.
Me: But they have two legs, plus two wings, which you insist are legs.
Dad: No, they were legs.
Me: You're not making any sense.
Dad: Have you ever heard of a [some dinosaur name which escapes me]?
Me: No.
Dad: It was this prehistoric fish thing. It had fins with arms on them, and because of it, scientists think all limbs are related, and are just at different evolutionary stages.
Me: Ok. So would you call a person a monkey?
Dad: I believe that's what happened, yes [referring to the theory that humans evolved from apes].
Me: But would you refer to human beings as 'monkeys.'
Dad: No, because they're not.
Me: And yet you would call a wing a leg?
Dad: Yes.
Me: That's the stupidest thing you've ever said.
Dad: What is the function of a leg?
Me: Uh...to walk....kick things.....
Dad: Is that it?
Me: Uh...to run?
Dad: And what is the function of a wing?
Me: To fly.
Dad: Ok. So wings are for flying, legs are for walking.....they both get you places. They're for transportation.
Me: So would you call a car a leg too?
Dad: A car?
Me: Yeah.
Dad: No. Can you hit stuff with a car?
*my little brother Connor and I laugh*
Me: Yes. If you want to.
[Connor reads the definition of "leg" aloud, which mentions something about them being 'the lower two appendages of the body']
Dad: Did ya hear that? Lower body.
Me: So?
Dad: Well, what you're saying isn't making sense. It's like saying that because a nose is on the face, and a mouth is on the face, a mouth is a nose.
Me: Is a mouth a nose?
Dad: Of course not!
Me: Is a wing a leg?
Dad: At another point in evolution, yes.
Me: Well there you go! At another point in evolution! A wing was a leg. As of right now, a wing is not a leg.
Dad: That's what I've been saying all along!
Me: (shaking head and laughing, albeit frustrated laughter) No! It's not! You said a wing is a leg! As in, right now!
Connor: That's true, you did.
Dad: No. You're all mixed up. That's why I hate arguing with you boys. You can never listen to both sides of the argument. *walks away*

And there you have it. He always leaves at just the right time, right before I stab him in the heart. Another good one was the argument we had about the existence of the universe. It encompassed four consecutive nights. It ended with him stating that I was narrow-minded because I wouldn't accept the fact that things are exactly the way he thinks them to be.

So is it just me, or was there something horribly flawed with his argument? It seems to me like he kept contradicting himself, but I don't know. What do you guys think?