For solid state amps, going above 50W will probably be too much for home use. My 30W line 6 spider II can keep up with a band for a band practice, though just barely. if it's a loud show you'll want a bigger amp. but the 30W is great for home use though.

now if it's tubes, then 30W will probably be plenty for a band. and since tube amps actually respond when you turn the volume knob, it could work for home use too.

for amps, I've got a 40W peavey XXX and it's great! it's really versatile too, it plays good hard rock and metal, and the clean channel is shimmering. the "rhythm" channel inbetween is good for your "distorted but not quite through the roof" type sounds. it'd be a good buy. they cost about $950 new. I got mine on sale for $500. that may be a bit out of your price range though... I saw the peavey classic 30 on that website though.. why not give that a try? and get an overdrive pedal to use alongside it's normal gain to get high gain sounds.

for guitars, I've got a gibson sg special faded and couldn't be happier! I love the humbucker sound, for cleans or for metal, I just never liked single coils. that's just me though. try some stuff out, see what you like!