Originally Posted by: Cryptic ExcretionsI think I get what you're saying. Probably because I share the same opinion. All I can say is I sit next to a girl who is, in typical male terms, a knockout. She's flat out good looking all over in a sexual and nonsexual way. But I know it's just my oggling side that just doesn't seem to shut up no matter what I do. Best part of all is that I know I can't bull**** myself into thinking that there'd be anything that could bloom past coworkers. A conversation with her alone says that loud and clear. Not that we don't get along, but you just know how different you are from some people in a conversation and, well, in this case someone that frequently talks about sports, getting out of the house, doing things, having a life, etc. isn't going to mesh well with the hermit next to her that sits inside, peeks out of his blinds, and shuns the world. And I find it most degrading to myself and to her that I just sit in my cubicle fantasizing on and on hoping for just about anything but at the same time knowing that nothing will ever happen. It's all just a pipe dream. And it's not like she's the only one. Just about anyone could get my mind going. It's all just a physical attraction. It's always been just that. I've never felt any emotion for anyone. My parents always told me they "loved" me, but I get the feeling that if they did I'd have felt it. I know my mom cares about me, but caring about someone and loving someone are two different things and I don't find a future of love to be probable. I mostly just wish I could grow up and be done with it. I also tire of hearing people tell me I need to get out more and get a girlfriend. Even my boss and coworkers are starting to say things. But I've already decided against it. It's a decision I've made and plan to follow through with. If I really wanted a girlfriend I'd get out more, since I don't care enough, oh well. My gain, my loss, whatever, it doesn't really matter to me. I'm too much of a dick anyway. If I was a super hero, my power would be to be able to piss anyone off within a mere sentance of casual talk. I'm that good. It's not that I ever intend to piss people off, it's just that I know what I'm talking about and what I mean and the people I'm taking to interpret my words completely differently from what I meant. Next thing I know I'm getting a good lecture on how to not be a dick when I didn't even mean to be. I bring malevolence by nature. Alrighty, now that you've all got a big dose of what goes on in my mind. Sorry for going on an unrelated tangent.

dude, you say that you don't see a future of love in your life, but yet you've sworn off dating, it's pretty much like you're making that future for yourself. seriously dude, I never really felt like my parents loved me, even if they said that they did. let alone me feeling any love back... maybe that's just cause I've got the whole "typical teenager, don't want to associate with my parents" type of thing going on... but I thought that would wind up old and alone... but then I met this girl, and I started going out with her, and now I love her, and I just know that I do (I know that sounds like something you hear in chick flicks, but it's true!) so, I'm not going to tell you to go out and get a girlfriend, but, it's seriously the best thing in the world to be in love, and I wouldn't trade it even for the best guitar rig in the world