Originally Posted by: kingdavidYeah, it is.
Like I said, Jesus of Nazareth knew what he was talking about. Regardless of your take on religion, I think you can see this point.
I'm trying to get back whatever of that purity I can manage to get back. It's hard, but I'm trying. I'm not rudely telling beggars off (although I'm not necessarily giving them money, coz I don't accept begging as a solution to afflictions). I try to look at more than a girl's boobz or butt. I'm trying to get my dick to stop kidding itself that it can think for me. I'm trying to be nice. To have a good heart. To treat people as innocent until proven guilty.
It's hard, but I'mtrying.

I think I get what you're saying. Probably because I share the same opinion. All I can say is I sit next to a girl who is, in typical male terms, a knockout. She's flat out good looking all over in a sexual and nonsexual way. But I know it's just my oggling side that just doesn't seem to shut up no matter what I do. Best part of all is that I know I can't bull**** myself into thinking that there'd be anything that could bloom past coworkers. A conversation with her alone says that loud and clear. Not that we don't get along, but you just know how different you are from some people in a conversation and, well, in this case someone that frequently talks about sports, getting out of the house, doing things, having a life, etc. isn't going to mesh well with the hermit next to her that sits inside, peeks out of his blinds, and shuns the world. And I find it most degrading to myself and to her that I just sit in my cubicle fantasizing on and on hoping for just about anything but at the same time knowing that nothing will ever happen. It's all just a pipe dream. And it's not like she's the only one. Just about anyone could get my mind going. It's all just a physical attraction. It's always been just that. I've never felt any emotion for anyone. My parents always told me they "loved" me, but I get the feeling that if they did I'd have felt it. I know my mom cares about me, but caring about someone and loving someone are two different things and I don't find a future of love to be probable. I mostly just wish I could grow up and be done with it. I also tire of hearing people tell me I need to get out more and get a girlfriend. Even my boss and coworkers are starting to say things. But I've already decided against it. It's a decision I've made and plan to follow through with. If I really wanted a girlfriend I'd get out more, since I don't care enough, oh well. My gain, my loss, whatever, it doesn't really matter to me. I'm too much of a dick anyway. If I was a super hero, my power would be to be able to piss anyone off within a mere sentance of casual talk. I'm that good. It's not that I ever intend to piss people off, it's just that I know what I'm talking about and what I mean and the people I'm taking to interpret my words completely differently from what I meant. Next thing I know I'm getting a good lecture on how to not be a dick when I didn't even mean to be. I bring malevolence by nature. Alrighty, now that you've all got a big dose of what goes on in my mind. Sorry for going on an unrelated tangent.