Ok, I got one for ya.
Back when I was about 9 year old we were playing around in half built houses and I was running along the 2 by 4's that they used under the floor boards they'd eventually put in.
I tripped over them as I was running along and went "ahhh" and my tongue got stuck between my teeth as my chin hit the planks. I screamed my guts out and went home and my mom freaked.... Half my tongue was hanging off by a thread. So I had to go the the hostpital and have a visegrip stuck in my mouth to keep it open and while I was having stiches put in. Then I couldn't eat anything but liquids for 2 weeks.

Just think... if I'd cut my tongue off, i'd be 'talging lige thith all the tibe'...and my name would be thmange.