(20 second intro solo)

The Iron door SLAMS shut behind me.
Not a single soul I know will ever find me...here
In this hidden cell
The earthly equivalent to our hell.

Around me sit unnoticed lonely faces,
And all they think about is lonely places...here
I sit against the wall.
Aren't I the loneliest one of them all?

I never lied, I never stole
I always did as I was told.
I'd never cheat, I always gave
But tell me who did all my givings save?

I triieed to run away
I triiieeed but was I trying to stay?

The Iron door SLAMS shut behind me.
Not a single soul I know will ever find me...I'll
be in eternal doubt
that's the only thing that I'm sure about.

I think they should give me just one second chance...no
There's not a person here I could enhance
Death is upon me like a ravenous swarm,
But if we fear death we should not have been born.
I go to die so that others may live
Could you sacrifice what I'm willing to give.
I did something for which I must pay the price
All I can ask you is take my advice.

[Edited by Number of the Beast on 08-29-2003 at 04:52 PM]

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If I could be a solo...I think I'd be Eruption...

So, what do you think?

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If I could be a solo...I think I'd be Eruption...

Its ok but not quite hitting me emotionally [maybe cus im at work]
The subject is quite intense, but i dont understand this part, where u say u never lied, cheated and etc.. and then in the end where u say u have to pay the price etc.. i think thats the death sentence that ur getting there [the persona doesnt have to be you but ill say you]

maybe the imagery of the cell could be damper and more rusty and cold but ud prolly be expressing that in the music so i'm not critisizing.
i like the part where u say for if we fear death we shouldnt have been born...

so to sum up i think its got structure but needs more surreality. feel free to tell me what i didnt understand in the message.

well, you're right about the death sentence thing, but you missinterpreted the never lied part. What I mean is, the guy never did anything wrong until he made this one mistake that screwed him forever. anyhow, with music it would be a lot more "surreal" as you put it. Understand that you read only the words, not how they are sung or the harmony that accompanies them.

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If I could be a solo...I think I'd be Eruption...

Right so one mistake....well yea unfortunatley [if u wanna get into a conversation about law and how full of bull the gov is - any gov]

he wont get a second chance and some other guy might walk.

about the surreality or whatever, thats my way of vcalling it cus im inclined to more psych and stuff like that automatically. the whole thing with music is a different matter then.

well, I'm Republican, so I'm all about harsh punishment, but yeah I think he knows that he's getting something he may have earned, you know, and he's asking for people not to repeat it.

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If I could be a solo...I think I'd be Eruption...

Well, they sound a little "rappish" because of all the rhyming.

The first verse doesn't rhyme except the last 2 lines, and then the rest of the song does. Different.

It's pretty good overall though, it's just hard to make lyrics that rhyme sound that good.

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Sometimes I hit notes only dogs can hear.