this is my first song so dont be too hard on me but it was origanilly supposed to be rock but after i wrote it it didnt sound like rock to me
ANGER
My anger builds up fast
It happened more in the past
It makes me want to break stuff
Not hit my pillow with a fluff
I want you to die
Like when i eat pie
I want you to shutup
So why dont you shutup
I want to beat you down
I want to give you a pound
I want to hurt you bad
It cant be on a pad
I hate you so much
I gonna give you a punch
Im gonna kick you too
I want to beat you down
I want to give you a pound
I want to hurt you bad
It cant be on a pad

So tell me if its good. if it sounds like rock and tell me if you have any suggestions

very much anger in it *L*

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Holiness is in right action and courage on behalf of those who cannot defend themselves.
Azrael´s Tricks

it sound to me like punk rock (blink182 or something).

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http://planet.nana.co.il/llddll/shavit7%5F1%2E2v%2Ejpg

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good i like blink 182 so thats good
but is it good?

please do not put pictures of THAT size in your signature - if someone has a slow connection it will take like forever to load. keep it small

__________________
Holiness is in right action and courage on behalf of those who cannot defend themselves.
Azrael´s Tricks

that was off the subject

You've got the outline there but the lyrics are too simple and dont have enough depth in them, try to get the listener to "feel" part of the song, it's hard to explain but the more you try the better you will get at it, write loads of different lyrics when just starting out and ask different people which parts they like then incorporate all the best parts into the final draft, also keep to a single theme throughout the song.

But not bad at all for your first effort.

Good Luck, and keep trying

[Edited by Just_Me on 11-25-2002 at 01:23 PM]