i know this is a topic that has arisen before but i have small hands and want to start to play the guitar, my middle finger is barely 3in, and i find it so hard to just position my hand... should i just give up, maybe try to learn to play bass with 4 strings?...what should i do??

just find a guitar that fits. neck on a guitar range from vewry slim to very fat and skinny to very wide.
i have a les paul youd love it has a very skinny neck. if you look around a lot of steel string acoustics have skinny necks. just go to a guitar store and pick every one up. bring a tape measure or a ruler and finds whats right.

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They say the END is near, but I'm Tired of waiting.

At first I was thinking, wow what kind of a freak has only a 3 inch middle finger, thats so short!.....then I measured mine and its exactly 3 inches I have the same problem as you. You kind of get used to it, but its still hard to play certain things. Frets 1-5 are hard to play for me because I really have to angle my wrist in a weird position. Kinda sucks, but I still get by. I advise you to not give up. It gets easier, but don't expect it to be as easy as a person with what I call "guitar fingers" (aka normal/long fingers). It's not impossible though.

Just look at Michael Romeo from Symphony X. He has smaller than average hands and hes amazing.

You'll find a way. I've got big shovel hands, but that makes it difficult for me to play up past the 17th fret - you just end up adapting your technique to find something that works.

Django Reinhardt only had 2 fingers on his fretting hand, Toni Iommi lost the tips of all his in a machine press... keep at it, you'll be fine...

And welcome to GT...

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"It’s taken me all my life to learn what not to play...” - Dizzy Gillespie

You got my curiousity aroused. I measured my middle finger and from the lower crease to end of my finger tip is exactly 2 3/4". This is really starting to feel weird! I know I had the same concern when I started many years ago. I must say, I really haven't thought about it lately. Like the others said, I think you get use to it and adapt. I think one thing I do is I keep my thumb a little below the centerline of the neck and curl my hand much more than other players. I notice some sort of rest their thumb on the top edge of the neck. I couldn't do this.

Also, when playing some new chords that require a lot the stretching and a large spread of the fingers are very difficult. Those are the chords I work on the hardest and in time it becomes easy.

There are smaller neck guitars, but it may limit you to what brand or sound you want especially in an acoustic. I think if you just practice and adapt you can play any guitar. I'm not a professional or even a big performer, but I can play (at least so far) any guitar. There are some that are more comfortable, but like we said, you adapt.

Good Luck!

thanks guys

All of my fingers are exactly 0.65 of an inch.

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Can't a Captain look at a Queen?