Guitar Lessons:
Guitar Tricks
Username:     Password:
Guitar Lessons (866) 216-3786




Go Back   Guitar Tricks Forum > Open Community ( Visitors Welcome ) > Open Discussion
User Name
Password


Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
  #1  
Old 11-21-2006, 07:55 PM
hunter60's Avatar
hunter60 hunter60 is offline
Humble student
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: The Iron City
Posts: 1,579
hunter60 has a reputation beyond reputehunter60 has a reputation beyond reputehunter60 has a reputation beyond reputehunter60 has a reputation beyond reputehunter60 has a reputation beyond repute
Hunter60 starts a story

Well, I don't want to miss out on the fun. Here's the very start of a new piece I'm working on. It's not complete and I wouldn't post the finished one because it'll be too long. I don't want to waste the space or the time of you fine folks. This is the first draft (actually my notes for the story) so ignore grammar and spelling. I'm just too lazy to clean it up tonight. I've got to get in their and practice a little guitar.

_________________________________________________________________


Charlie Rojik had a problem. And not a television sitcom sort of problem that can be solved in twenty-two minutes by a smiling, wise-cracking Dad in a mutli-colored sweater with a wise, chin-stroking platitude while tossing the football in the backyard. Nor was it the sort of problem that would wind up with him beaten, bruised and standing in a long line wearing prison orange. Well, not unless things went horribly wrong.

No. Charlie Rojik was in love. Again.

At thirty-three, Charlie had been in love precisely ten times; each time with a beautiful, talented, smart, stylish and fantastically built woman. Every one was perfect. Flawless examples of the thing, that one wonderful thing, that makes life worth living. And each and every one was the wife of another man. And number eleven was the same with one striking difference, thus the problem that faced Charlie that morning as he sat, squat and uninspired, in his little cubicle. Yes, he had indeed fallen in love with the wife of another man. Only this time, she had stepped from the fantasy and smack dab into the middle of his life. She had become real. She had moved from behind the shade of fantasy and flirtation, that little game that he played successfully for years to protect himself, and had taken form. It wasn’t supposed to be this way.

She wanted him.

He shook his head and tried to ignore the problem, playing ostrich. ‘If I ignore this, it’ll resolve itself. It always does…’ he thought to himself. It was this coping technique that had served him well throughout his life. He ignored his fathers constant badgering to play football. Eventually his father quit asking. Since he could not decide what to major in college, he ignored the SAT’s and eventually his grades until the decision was made for him and he found himself sitting in a Community College classroom a month after graduating high school. He ignored his high school sweethearts, at first, veiled, and later, blatant, attempts to garner a commitment from him. She too eventually went away, married an orthodontist and now spends her days raising children in an upscale neighborhood. He ignored any thoughts of upward mobility and found himself now somewhat comfortable in this little cubicle, pushing papers from one side of his desk to another. It was a position barely above entry-level but it provided a living wage and for Charlie Rojik, that was good enough.

As he contemplated this, Cheryl sauntered by his cubicle, gave him a long look and a wink. Immediately, Charlie’s problem was back and very real.

It had all been a game; nothing more than a harmless game of flirtation in the office. Nothing serious. But she had come to take his attention seriously. She told him things. Things about her husband, their lives together and how that togetherness was coming apart as they went along. She told him how she had never met a man she could talk to like Charlie. She went as far as to suggest dinners after work and thinly disguised ‘chance’ meetings on the weekends. It had taken on a life of it’s own, this thing he created.

Throwing his attention into a huge, tedious file, Charlie tried to focus and force the day to pass quickly.

It didn’t.


Larry popped onto the stool next to Charlie and motioned for a drink. “What’s with you? You look horrible.”
Charlie smiled weakly. “I’m in trouble.”
“Now what?” The irritation in Larry’s voice was unmistakable. Having been Charlie’s best friend since they were in the third grade, Larry had been there for most of Charlie’s mistakes, miscues and idiotic moves.
“I’m in love.”
Larry took a long pull from his beer and offered “Well call in the National Guard. Oh yeah, I can see where that might make you look like you’re trying to swallow an egg.”
“No man, I’m serious. I think I’m in love.”
“And?”
Charlie rubbed his hands over his scalp, “And nothing.”
“It is a woman right? Or a man. I mean, it is 2006 and all that. Whatever. I mean, it’s not a sofa or a sea bass or something, right?”
“Yes, it’s a woman. A woman in my office. Cheryl. I think you met her last year at the ballgame.”
Larry thought for a moment and said “Naw, I don’t think so. Whatever. So what’s the problem? You really enjoy this woman…I don’t see the downside…oh wait a second. Let me guess, you did it again, didn’t you? You’ve fallen for a married woman and now you don’t know how you’ll live with out her but you can’t have her …blah, blah, blah. Am I right?”
Charlie turned towards Larry. “The problem is that she wants me.”
“Oh for crying out loud. You’re quite the little science project, aren’t you? Tell me, do you have a team of therapists living in your basement or something?”
Charlie motioned for another round. “No. I’ve got you for therapy.”
“Well,” Larry shook his head, “If that’s the case, I am going to start charging you.”
__________________
"All I can do is be me ... whoever that is". Bob Dylan
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 11-21-2006, 08:39 PM
Tonja_Renee's Avatar
Tonja_Renee Tonja_Renee is offline
Official PRSplaya Groupie
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: HRM - Nova Scotia, Canada
Posts: 661
Tonja_Renee is a Guitar Tricks guruTonja_Renee is a Guitar Tricks guruTonja_Renee is a Guitar Tricks guruTonja_Renee is a Guitar Tricks guru
Send a message via AIM to Tonja_Renee Send a message via MSN to Tonja_Renee
Well that wasn't what I was expecting... and that is just totally not nice of you to tease with a story like that.. and knowing its not finished.. you aren't going to post the finished story.

But I was definately interested...
__________________
Great works are performed, not by strength, but by perseverance.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 11-21-2006, 08:49 PM
hunter60's Avatar
hunter60 hunter60 is offline
Humble student
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: The Iron City
Posts: 1,579
hunter60 has a reputation beyond reputehunter60 has a reputation beyond reputehunter60 has a reputation beyond reputehunter60 has a reputation beyond reputehunter60 has a reputation beyond repute
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tonja_Renee
Well that wasn't what I was expecting... and that is just totally not nice of you to tease with a story like that.. and knowing its not finished.. you aren't going to post the finished story.

But I was definately interested...


Sorry.I thought about that after I stuck it up there. I have a tendency to write longer stories and I really didn't want to post something up there that would be maybe twenty or thirty pages long. Not fair to ask people to read that much or take up that much space. Tell you what, if you want, when I finish it, I can email you the finished piece.

Might take a while though. Got a million things going right now.

One question though; did you enjoy what you read?
__________________
"All I can do is be me ... whoever that is". Bob Dylan
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 11-21-2006, 08:59 PM
Tonja_Renee's Avatar
Tonja_Renee Tonja_Renee is offline
Official PRSplaya Groupie
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: HRM - Nova Scotia, Canada
Posts: 661
Tonja_Renee is a Guitar Tricks guruTonja_Renee is a Guitar Tricks guruTonja_Renee is a Guitar Tricks guruTonja_Renee is a Guitar Tricks guru
Send a message via AIM to Tonja_Renee Send a message via MSN to Tonja_Renee
I did enjoy it...

I definately wanted to read more.
__________________
Great works are performed, not by strength, but by perseverance.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 11-22-2006, 10:50 AM
acapella acapella is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: In a yellow house on the highway. We get a lot of traffic through the living room.
Posts: 1,617
acapella has greatness in reachacapella has greatness in reachacapella has greatness in reach
Send a message via MSN to acapella
I'm with Tonja...you got me hooked. I demand more!
__________________
You go outside and practice screaming. We'll play music while you're gone.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 11-22-2006, 02:14 PM
earthman buck earthman buck is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: A theatre near you
Posts: 2,954
earthman buck is a walking guitar encyclopediaearthman buck is a walking guitar encyclopediaearthman buck is a walking guitar encyclopediaearthman buck is a walking guitar encyclopedia
Send a message via AIM to earthman buck Send a message via MSN to earthman buck
I too want more.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 11-24-2006, 01:07 AM
Jolly McJollyson's Avatar
Jolly McJollyson Jolly McJollyson is offline
Chick Magnet
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: On Blueberry hill
Posts: 5,459
Jolly McJollyson calls Guitar Tricks homeJolly McJollyson calls Guitar Tricks homeJolly McJollyson calls Guitar Tricks home
Send a message via AIM to Jolly McJollyson
Stylistically it's different from what I prefer, but I REALLY like this outline. You have a nice style; Terry Pratchett and Hunter S. Thompson might ask for it back, though, haha.

I want to see what you do with this, I found it stylistically sound and entertaining to boot.
__________________
I want the bomb
I want the P-funk!

My band is better than yours...
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:48 PM.


Powered by: vBulletin® Version 3.0.17
Copyright ©2000 - 2013, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Guitar Lessons Learn Guitar
© Copyright 1998-2013 GuitarTricks. All rights reserved.


Learn Guitar Online