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yeah, i'd be careful for a few reasons:
a) when someone dies, the cops come looking around, especially if a knife/blade/etc was involved and the death was obviously less than natural. they'll talk to people at the party, and people at the party will point fingers; chances are good one will eventually come back to you; i know firsthand that the most automatic reaction to the cops asking about a murder is "hey, i may have seen something, but that guy saw more! talk to him!" and they will come.
and worse, what if the friends of the guy who died come looking (though obviously i don't know what kind of character he was)? i know that when one of my friends got killed way back when, we messed up everyone to figure out who had done it; people who may have known, friends of acquaintances, etc. street justice has a lot fewer rules than courtroom justice.
i looked on your myspace and someone mentioned that there were bats and everything... and you have a blog entry about it... that may raise some questions if they come looking.
to this end, you may want to think about contacting them yourself. at this point, it's normal to come forward; lots of people will run like sam hell when they see something happen, not out of sneakiness, but because, well, seeing someone die is not an easy thing to see. tell them what you saw, be honest, and say that you want to help in any way you can; give your contact number, and they'll give you a lot better treatment than if it took them a week to hunt you down.
b) the good Doctor Simon is right. sounds like it may be time for a lifestyle change. now I don't know what it is you do on your spare time, what sort of things you like to do, what sort of people you hang out with. i saw in the same blog post that you want to change now, and that's good, but let me tell you, sometimes that necessitates a physical removal from the people around you. it can really suck, but, more often than not your friends won't share the same sentiments about getting clean or avoiding your past lifestyle, and you can't expect them to support you in your decision to do so.
i've seen more than my share of people die, and have known even more who have died. i saw one of my friends get shot in the head, for no reason we knew of, and his brother and i held him while he was dying; it's something i'll never forget, and the truth is you never forget something like that. people are meant to die but they aren't meant to die when they're in their teens and walking back from a Circle K. the screams, the wails... hos mom, when she found out... anything that made me want to have anything to do with being a badass, and all that, just died with him. it's not worth it, it's not worth it for anyone; it just leaves behind a trail of broken human beings.
on halloween i was at a party and some dumbass od'ed on smack; same deal, run in and find him as he's dying... you know... his friend is screaming and crying, and of course is so drugged out that he can't do anything but that... some random psychobilly guy was trying to CPR him and took charge, because he'd been through the situation before; we lifted the guy out of the room to try and get him up onto a table and i got to hold his upper body because i was the only one there who was a little bit built, and i don't know if he died while i was holding him or not. how pathetic is that? you're dying and surrounded by a bunch of strangers who are trying to save you, your only friend is so drugged up he's just screaming, and that's how your life ended? and when i was on the phone with 911, they sounded really concerned right up until they found out he was an OD, and then they could care less. the thing that separates this happening to ones in the past is that i didn't know this guy, i didn't have anything to do with him or the drugs or anyomne involved; i was just at the same party, and just happened to be in the next room when it happened.
what do you think it is that you need to get closure on what happened? because it could be a big help to do that, whatever it is (so long as it doesn't involve drugs). the only mindset i can really have about what's happened in the past is that it's happened; the dead are dead, they aren't coming back, and the only thing i can do is try to make sure i don't end up that way myself, and keep myself away from people who will draw me closer to that. i remember everything that's happened in those situations and i always will, and you will too... just remember that getting over it will make you stronger and help make sure you don't end up seeing stuff like that again, or ending up there yourself.
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