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  #1  
Old 03-26-2005, 01:30 PM
Axl_Rose Axl_Rose is offline
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Advice

Ok.. this is probably not the place to ask, but I genuinely have no one to turn to on this one. I need adivce, and I cant ask anyone because in explaining the situation they will want to know whats going on and it will arouse attension.

Basically... a couple of days ago my girlfriend told me her mum was taken to hospital. I asked if she was ok and she said she didnt want to talk about it because it would only upset her. So the day after I said again is she doing ok and she said they are keeping her in, I asked what happened and she said she didnt want to talk about it. So shes now refused to speak about it twice so I can no longer ask. Its been days now and Im extremely worried about her mum and the rest of her family but Im being kept in the dark and I have no way of finding out whats happening.

Ok, maybe its none of my business, but its just because I know nothing, its human nature to think the worst and so I literally cant sleep right now or stop worrying about this. Its 6pm in the UK right now.. Im supposed to be going out with friends to watch the football tonite etc but I just dont feel up to it because I just cant eat/sleep/concentrate on anything but this right now.

Im so so worried. Its as hard as it would be if it was a member of my family because I love her parents, they are great. I dont think her family have told anyone in the town about this. I think its all being kept secret. I want to ask her brother but I dont want to upset him either. Im dreading something really bad is happening.

Logically... it cant be too bad... I mean her bro and dad were in the pub playing pool etc and my girlfriend still wants to see me. If it was something really bad then her family would be at the hopsital 24/7.

Should I just wait this out and hope she gets better? The whole thing brings back bad memories I have. When I was 16 my life long friend was taken to hospital. 2 days later, before I even understoody why, he died. I never really grieved for him... I was stunned. For months I just didnt say much and even now I still think about him most days. Im just really confused right now.

Im sorry if this post has lowered the tone or has been kinda inappropriate but what should i do. give her family space and deal with the worry.. or is there a tactful way I can ask whats up to put my mind at ease? It could be nothing major... and Im worrying for nothing. But is this what I have to do?

Last edited by Axl_Rose : 03-26-2005 at 01:32 PM.
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  #2  
Old 03-26-2005, 04:08 PM
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chucklivesoninmyheart chucklivesoninmyheart is offline
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Glad you posted whats bothering you.This is the place for it.when you feel you have no one else or let your feelings be known to anyone...no place better than the open forum here at GT.

Really,you sumed it up yourself.If she was terminal or something,they would no doubt be at the hospital alot.

I think its what actually got her in the hospital that may be so upsetting or personal.She may have had a breakdown,suicide attempt or something not loudly mentioned usually.

If this is really bothering you,you might need to very 'seriously' ask your girlfiend if her mother is living or dying and let her know how deeply this is effecting you...

oh yeah,check your PM's axl.
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Last edited by chucklivesoninmyheart : 03-26-2005 at 10:31 PM.
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  #3  
Old 03-27-2005, 01:32 AM
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PonyOne PonyOne is offline
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well, i'd suggest

-flowers (maybe a little stuffed animal?)
-a smile
-a hug

for starters. and let her know that you're worried about your g/f's mom and her, and if she ever wants to talk about it or needs help with anything, you're there for her.
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Old 03-27-2005, 01:58 AM
crazywolf crazywolf is offline
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That is a tough situation.
It's easy for me to say don't worry about it, and if it was real serious your gf would have told you....but i'm not in your situation.
If it was serious you would probably know about it, but it sounds like your worries are totally waranted.
Hope everything goes fine for you though.
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Old 03-27-2005, 03:24 AM
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chucklivesoninmyheart chucklivesoninmyheart is offline
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hmmm...take ponyone's approach to the matter.It will get your mind of yourself to counsol another and make their day.
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Old 03-27-2005, 06:05 AM
Axl_Rose Axl_Rose is offline
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I just txtd her saying I was upset. She asked why and I said because I was worried about her and her family. She said 'Dont worry, we'll get through it, we always do'. So Im guessing its something thats happened before or something they were expecting. I think it might be what chuck guessed, the first of the two things he said it could be.

She said something like 'Its not that I cant trust you... its just that its family stuff'. And I replied saying 'I agree- I dont need to know so dont tell me' etc.

How come life is so tough? Its just one thing after another with me and my girl. Its not like we argue.. its thinks in our individual lives that get each of us down and make our relatioship rocky. Neither of us have been free of worry or problems for weeks n weeks now.. so when we see each other its usually a case of one comforting the other, not two people meeting up to have fun.
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Old 03-27-2005, 12:57 PM
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PonyOne PonyOne is offline
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sadly that's how life goes sometimes. it'd be wonderful if all our lives were like Mentos commercials but unfortunately it doesn't end up that way for all of us.

my g/f and i have been going out for 6 years, and we've been there for one another through the good times and the bad times. it's just the way it goes. when the bad comes in it ususally outweighs the good and it can feel like that's all you ever get but if you think about it, that's not always the case.
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