Help me with some sabotage

[Leedogg]

What's up my fellow guitartricksters? I need to break some stuff and I need your help. Every morning I wake up to my roommate's crappy music (electronic, techno, whatever you wanna call it) being pumped around our apartment at a very high volume...utter noise pollution... It's getting so bad that I am starting to secretly wish that bodily harm will somehow come to him, so before this issue boils over into a fistfight I was thinking of just nippin' this problem off right now. So how do I do it? How can I kill his stereo or speakers without leaving any evidence of tampering? A Needle through the right wire? High powered Electromagnets? I'm really out of my element here. Thanks in advance, and if I get a good piece of advice, I'll keep y'all informed on this thread! Thanks!

[Jimmysticks]

just unscrew the stereo when he is gone, and take out something that looks important. then put it back together.

[Dr_simon]

why not try talking to him / her about it and if they still insist on being an asshole threaten to take a crap somewhere in his room.

if they think your mad enough to do it you are on to a winner

[Leedogg]

There must be a saying out there somewhere to the effect that you don't really know someone until you live with them. If not, I'm making that a saying :D. My roommate is an extremely self-serving and impulsive individual. My issues with him go beyond him pumping rave-music through our apartment while I'm trying to sleep. For instance, in the month of February alone, 3 separate weekends he had friends over. The first time wasn't bad at all because it was a hot chick. The last time was just one of his buddies, but he stayed thursday, friday, saturday, sunday, and didn't leave until today. My roommate was never around however, and I spent at least 3 times the amount of time with his friends than he did because he was either working, or out bangin' his ex-girlfriend. Effectively he spent no time with his friends who were down to see him, I did and didn't necessarily want to. All this behaviour is shady to say the least, but our lease at this apartment is over in June and I'll easily tough out these last few months with him. I'm a 22-year-old, fifth year senior at college, and hopefully this is the last time I'll ever have to live with someone that isn't my girlfriend. I'd sit down and talk with him if I thought he'd be receptive. But he'd probably just think I was a dick for overreacting. It'd be easier for me just to take away his ability to play crappy music really loud, as that's the only thing I truly care about happening with respect to this whole situation.

[basics]

People suck man. All you can do is find their weaknesses and use em for it but sometimes just the knowledge that a certain personality actually exists is enough to tempt the law.

[Hammurabi]

Hmm..are there any black wire inside the contraption? What you could do would be cut the wire of choice and rough or sand or whatever the ends to crap and then tape it tighly together with electric/duct/whatever's available tape that looks similar. Many hardware stores have thin rolls of straight black inconspicuous electrical tape for not much $$. Only two things to make sure of, 1. Check like three times the wire has nothing to do with power supply because fires suck like nothing else, and 2. make sure there's a little bit of space between the cut and mangled ends. If he somehow figures out where the problem is and you're asked about it then it 'was probably something done by the shop or previous owner because there was something wrong with it and they didn't want to get a proper repair done'. It happens all the time, right?

[Jimmi431]

try taking off the cover of the speakers and then just mess around with the actuall speaker, by mess around i mean push, hit, etc, should stop the speaker working as well cos it damages it then when it starts to sound like crap you with all your knowledge of guitar amps etc.. can tell him how the high levels of bass can really screw up speakers.

[SPL]

Originally posted by Leedogg
How can I kill his stereo or speakers without leaving any evidence of tampering?

Do you really want to run the risk of him going out and getting new bigger and louder stereo system?

Don't have a conversation with him, don't ask him, but TELL him to simply not to that ****! It really is that simple.

[iamthe_eggman]

Earplugs?

[basics]

Yeah man, that's what i do. Headphones. He comes in (and I know what hip hoppin gun tottin hip ganster wanna bes are like, idiots) and all you gotta do is plug in your headphones. The whole point of hiphop is the beat, the bass, and unless you crank it and are drunk, looking to get laid and thinking you're the greatest dancer in the world, hip hop is useless. He'll crank it up and you just gotta shove in your headphones man.

[Kevin Taylor]

Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes.
Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying,
"Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"

Every time you see your roommate yell, "You son of a..." and
kick him in the stomach. Then buy him some ice cream.

Draw a tiny, black spot on your arm. Make it bigger every day.
Look at it and say, "It's spreading, it's spreading."

Hang up pictures of chickens all over the room. If your roommate
eats eggs, yell at him and call him a cannibal.

While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling.
When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head,
and moan.

Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names.
Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato
from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your
roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, "He
just didn't belong."

[Pantallica1]

Dude, I seriously have never laughed so freaking hard in my entire life.

Oh my, my side hurts. That's just too damn funny.

[Lordathestrings]

First Response:
Explain to this asshole that you need your "Beauty Sleep", and if you are deprived of this by their early morning "concerts", you will indeed get "ugly" with them. State this in a way that implies serious physical harm.

Second Response:
If this repulsive behaviour continues, you are free to assume that physical harm is not a deterrent. This leaves you no alternative but to neutralise the offending stereo. You need some straight pins and a pair of wire cutters. Remove the grille from the front of both of the speakers. Push a pin through the cone at the edge of the voice coil, into the magnet gap that the voice coil moves in. Clip off the head of the pin with the wire cutters, and nudge the pin all the way in until it is no longer visible. It may take a minute or two for this cretin to realise that all is not well, but the resulting damage can range from crunchy bass to fried amp and/or speakers.


Either way, "Another One Bites The Dust"!

.. or you could simply deck the S.O.B. and leave it at that ...

...{afterthoughts}...
schmange has some interesting ideas... depending on the laws concerning involountary psychiatric observation in your locale, they might lead to unhappy conclusions.
There is always the possibility of a more powerful stereo replacing the original offender. But then, pins are a lot cheaper than stereos!
Since the people that come to visit him end up spending so much time with you instead, you have an uparallelled oportunity to alienate these people from him. No falsehood required - his obvious absence should be enough.
You have guitar and an amp? Since you're awake anyway, reply to the outbursts from "Der Roomie" with as many dB of SPL as you can provide! Scales, riffs, whatever you feel like playing.


After all, if reasonbale discussion (you did try that. didn't you?) fails, there is only unreasonable reaction left to you!

[Hammurabi]

I think something effective might be wait until he's trying to sleep at like 2-4am, point your amp at him, and crank it loud as it goes without doing permanent damage. If he complains you couln't get to sleep and a little amplified expression always helps you relax. :) And then do that every night until he gets the hint or stops sleeping.

Or Schmange's ideas, those would probably work just as well.

[Leedogg]

LMAO! Thanks for all the replies guys. Schmange, those were some off the wall ideas, I think I'm gonna go with the potato idea :) Oddly enough, I haven't seen my roommate since Sunday night because he's back with his ex-girlfriend. This is fine with me, except our apartment is still trashed from when his buddy was here over the weekend.

Upon deeper analysis of myself and this situation, I've come to realize that I'm chronically nonconfrontational. The thought of letting a person know that something they are doing is bothering me is difficult to bear. I realize this is irrational, and I shouldn't expect my roomie to be a mindreader or anything.

[Azrael]

why not simply kill him - in a very ... funny way - like tell the police you wanted to make a replay of the ACDC cover where angus gets stabbed by the guitar. this might make you famous and you can do the jailhouserock afterwards! plus it will get us guitarplayers back to the 70/80`s where we were known as bloodthirsty monsters.

[Dr_simon]

Schmange, you are a sick puppy !

[Leedogg]

Originally posted by Azrael
plus it will get us guitarplayers back to the 70/80`s where we were known as bloodthirsty monsters.

Hey, whatever I can do to help out my brethren :D

[Raskolnikov]

Originally posted by Leedogg
There must be a saying out there somewhere to the effect that you don't really know someone until you live with them. If not, I'm making that a saying :D. My roommate is an extremely self-serving and impulsive individual. My issues with him go beyond him pumping rave-music through our apartment while I'm trying to sleep. For instance, in the month of February alone, 3 separate weekends he had friends over. The first time wasn't bad at all because it was a hot chick. The last time was just one of his buddies, but he stayed thursday, friday, saturday, sunday, and didn't leave until today. My roommate was never around however, and I spent at least 3 times the amount of time with his friends than he did because he was either working, or out bangin' his ex-girlfriend. Effectively he spent no time with his friends who were down to see him, I did and didn't necessarily want to. All this behaviour is shady to say the least, but our lease at this apartment is over in June and I'll easily tough out these last few months with him. I'm a 22-year-old, fifth year senior at college, and hopefully this is the last time I'll ever have to live with someone that isn't my girlfriend. I'd sit down and talk with him if I thought he'd be receptive. But he'd probably just think I was a dick for overreacting. It'd be easier for me just to take away his ability to play crappy music really loud, as that's the only thing I truly care about happening with respect to this whole situation.

There is only one thing for you to do.

Go out and purchase "Transnational Speedway League" by Clutch. On that album is a song called "Bing and Purge."

Play it at high volume while wandering around the apartment in an agitated demeanor while screaming along with EVERY SINGLE WORD. Having loco eyes is a major bonus.

Your roommate should become much more docile after witnessing this site.

[PonyOne]

talk it over with the guy and see if he stops. if not, then...

-open up his stereo, figure out where the power supply is, and don't touch it. Instead, figure out which wires carry this signal from the processor to the output (speakers). Get a soldering iron (you've gotta have one as a guitarist, I'm sure you've swapped pickups or nobs before) and desolder them, then resolder it to somewhere else. This way he the stereo will still turn on, the EQ will indicate that the signal is going out, but try as he may, the thing will not carry sound. This will piss him off and hopefully make him totally lose it, maybe get confined to a psych ward. Plus if he opens it up suspecting you of sabotage, unless he knows something about electronics, he will be totally dumbfounded since there are no cut/taped wires.

-stage a theft (this may be illegal but who cares? if you're smart you can get away with murder) in which his stereo and entire cd collection as well as anything else of value in his room got pawned, er, stolen.

-start listening to really loud, fast black metal, and either shave your head and grow a goatee or leave it really long, but shave it everywhere except the top of your head and tie it back. Get some creepy black, perfectly circular sunglasses, and wear exclusively black and red. Start taking an active interest in fringe politics and "sin," and buy some large, disturbing-looking knives. Make sure when he comes home, you are sitting there with incense burning, sharpening the knives. For effect, leave a couple of them stuck in the table. Tell him he has a really cool stereo, and that if you turn up (insert song) at this one part in the bridge, because the definition is so awsome, you can hear the speaking track satan recorded with them in the studio. Tell him this matter of factly, and when he takes it as a joke, get really upset, go and continue sharpening your knives.
Whenever you go into the bathroom, take your shirt off and stare at yourself in the mirror for a long time, then start throwing your right arm out in a fisted salute, then keep repetatively punching yourself in the left pec while screaming "SIN!" loudly. At this point he should be well and truly freaked out, and contemplating a move. If he isn't, go to a hardware store and get a big piece of wood, put it up in the living room, staple pictures of famous do-gooders on it and use it to practice your knife throwing. Go to Barnes & Noble and get a few books on martial arts and weapon training, and the official SAS Survival Handbook & leave them laying around. Keep talking about the revolution and "sin." Never take yor creepy glasses off. Get a Boss MT-2. When you play guitar play drop-tuned, gutteral chords for 30-40 seconds, then go into a burst of sporadic sweeping and tapping, then repeat. Over and over.
Odds are you have a couple really skinny, short female friends who, if not outright goth, have dark clothing and makeup and will come home with you at odd hours, and chat with you as you listen to scary and sharpen knives (just make sure they know it's just a ploy). Male friends or acquaintances of the same appearance as you will enhance the effect. Get into the Kabbalah and Necromnicon. Eat with your knives rather than forks. Rammstein. This will get his ass out of there ASAP, and you will have amassed a collection of cool clothing, knives and music in the process, and should be better at sweeping and tapping.

-do your girlfriend really loudly whenever he starts cranking the techno and she's over. Make sure she squeals and you scream lots of profanity. You don't even really have to have sex, you can just sit there with a female friend reading magazines or knitting whilst screaming. It's a great way to bond.

-take the CD he listens to the most and hide it. Maintain innocence. When he starts listening to a different CD more, remove the new CD from his collection and take the old one & put it where it belongs. Do this as much as possible, eventually he'll get really pissed though.

-the next time he's blasting music and you're both in the living room, fake tripping and falling really hard, or slamming your head into the wall repeatedly (the best way to do this is to slam your head toward it, and kick the wall out of view as you recoil your head, so it looks/sounds violent). When he goes, "dude, what the hell are you doing? are you okay?" look at him and say "I was hoping if the pain was loud enough, that it would drown out this crap."

-Rearrange his room for no apparent reason. Again, maintain innocence. Do this once every few days. Finally, tell him that the elves from the fifth level of Zandar made you do it.

[Hammurabi]

^:D That was awesome.

[Seve420]

In the speakers there should be two wires within the same covering going into the back. Open it up, scrape back the outer covering of the wires (with the power obviously off) and tape them together, making sure they touch. This will cause a minor short circuit when it's on and the stereo will jump like a badly scratched CD is being played. He'll get so pissed off that all his CD's are skipping, although they have no sign of scratches, he'll eventually stop.

[Leedogg]

Thanks for all the ideas guys. Luckily he's been banging his ex-girlfriend so much that I've maybe seen him twice this whole week, so for the time being the situation has corrected itself. He really hates shred music, so when starts playing his stuff, I start blasting some Rusty Cooley :)

Pony: Man, those were some funny ideas, I take it you have experience in revenge? :D

[Jimmysticks]

hahah schmange, that is the funniest thing i've ever read in my life! i was reading it in my school's library and laughing my ass off.

[Tank_Simmons]

I would just take his stereo and chuck it out the window. If he buys another one, do the same thing, and then again and again til he gets the idea. Now, you may have to do this more than 2 times because from what you are saying, he ain't the sharpest knife in the drawer. Eventually though, he'll get the idea.


I was gonna give you an elaborate plan involving naked people and lots of peanut butter, but I'd figure you already tried something like that.....desperate times call for simply desperate measures.