SEX!!!

[PRSplaya]

Since this is the "Open topic" area, why not start a sex topic. Who doesn't like talking about sex, and how many times does starting on one thing lead to talking about sex. I don't have anything real specific to talk about. just thought it would be it would be interesting to start a sex thread. Feel free to tell interesting / embarrasing / down right humilliating / make yourself look like a porn star / or whatever you feel like stories, just as long as they follow the GT rules.

[Hammurabi]

I'm a virgin, but I'm only 19 so I'm not worried about it.

[signsofchaos]

I lost the word "virginity" at 14..on Halloween. I haven't gotten any poonany in 3 months though because I just moved here in Florida. And now on Tuesday I'm movin' to Colorado...my own apartment...gotta band set up there to jam with.....my dad promised me a fridge full of Heineken...I'm all set:). But I don't know any girls there. Shouldn't take me too long though cause I'm hot as hell and chicks dig hawiian koa acoustics:) (can't find sarcasm smilie).

[Hammurabi]

I'm good looking and I have an 8 inch penis, but I'm too nice to get laid. I'm the type of person girls confide their deepest emotions and secrets to and/or ask to help kill themselves, not shag with. I should be less trustworthy, it would make my life a hell of a lot less stressful.

[Zeppelin]

please lets not discuss penis sizes.
thank you and have a nice day.

[signsofchaos]

8.4 inches here.

[Axl_Rose]

Well Im 8.5 :rolleyes:
Women are the most beautiful things in the world! I have three 'bichs' right now! Women and sex just given you the confidence to be who you wana be I guess :)

[Inisfail]

Haha, fun topic.. But, cmon on guys! Lenght doesn't matter.. Just play a killer solo infront of who ever you want and she's/he's all yours. Isn't that the reason why we play after all? =D

[PRSplaya]

that's not why I play at all, but the extra attention is nice.

Anybody ever had a girl who enjoyed watching porn with you? I had one girl who did, and let me tell you....it got pretty interesting to say the least.

Anybody ever use toy's on your partner? That can be extremely fun for the both of you. you gotta love those little vibrating eggs.

[basics]

I hate chicks, man. They're a distraction to my art and my profession. Not to say I don't disprove of the physical side of life (relating to pleasure) but as far as relationships go, **** em. No pun intended.

[PRSplaya]

true enough....relationships can be a distraction from other important stuff, and you deffanately have more money when not in a relationship. But for me, it's hard to be without the close companionship of someone you love, or simply enjoy being with. The sex is also alway's a plus.

[chucklivesoninmyheart]

I'm not settling down until I know its,for the most part,a 'drama' free relationship...until then I'm having fun.

[aiwass]

What's that in centimeters?

What a dumbass thread...

[finger_cruncher]

Originally posted by Inisfail
Haha, fun topic.. But, cmon on guys! Just play a killer solo infront of who ever you want and she's/he's all yours. Isn't that the reason why we play after all? =D

Sadly, that's not the case with me. My girlfriend can't stand me constantly playing guitar all over the house. I'm a professional musician with a gigging band and she attends most of my gigs, but around the house, she can't stand 'killer solos'. She says stop wanking and play something 'pretty with melody'. Funny, guitar is a very male-oriented hobby.

As far as sex is concerned, how many times per week (on average) do you guys get it? I get it about 4-5. :)

[beginner]

Originally posted by aiwass
What's that in centimeters?

Well 8 inches would be 20 centimeters.

[aiwass]

I know, I was being sarcastic.

[TheDirt]

This is an incredible phenomenon that scientists should most definately look into ---- apparently there are no males on the GuitarTricks forum that have less than an 8 inch penis!!! That almost makes one think that perhaps one or more of the GuitarTricks posters are lying... but no, no one would write something on the internet that was a lie, even if they knew there's no way to be proven wrong, would they? lol, what do you think aiwass?

[aiwass]

We'll, I'm gonna break with statistics here and admit to being 7.5 inches... *Gasp*

Then again, y'all probably have a few years on a mere sixteen-year-old like me, so I won't complain...

[Hammurabi]

You've got a couple years to grow.

I like to think it's not a coincidence that it's the well-equipped people who play guitar. :)

[Death55]

Why dont they just call this site "TheBigBoys.com" ?

[Hammurabi]

..because not everyone here has a penis? Although I will admit I kind of like that idea.

[Axl_Rose]

Hee hee yea i was joking.. hence the roll eyes face :rolleyes:
Everyone lies about there length though.. its illogicaly not to overestimate it really! Basic principles of economics prove that!
4-5 times a week is well bad for your relationship though dood!



[Edited by Axl_Rose on 02-23-2004 at 07:45 PM]

[xxkp89xx]

Has anyone ever felt a burning sensation after they attempted to staple their penis another guys' penis?

[TheWizard]

Originally posted by xxkp89xx
Has anyone ever felt a burning sensation after they attempted to staple their penis another guys' penis?

what the hell

but one thing we can all agree on, road head rules

anyone want to back me up on this one

[The Ace]

Man this is a horrible topic....

I'm a virgin - I'm only 14 years old though. So thats a big NBD.



(Shakes his head in disapprovement)

[iiholly]

I do not have a penis, but if I did... it would be bigger than yours!

[Hammurabi]

That's because you play guitar :)

scientists may disagree with me on this point, but that's their loss.

[Jolly McJollyson]

Originally posted by Death55
Why dont they just call this site "TheBigBoys.com" ?

Because "Liars Incorporated" would be more accurate.

[ketsueki15]

this forum is starting to turn a tad bit "gay" with the discussion of penis's and "my penis is this and that and oh yeah it can do tricks too...""
man was i fooled by the title of the forum..lol

[hairbndrckr]

I got a 10 inch package with my old tube sock in the pants... otherwise I am quite normal, of course compared to iiholly, I am like Ron Jeremy :)

[Polera]

I dont have sex, i ve had girl friend for years!

[finger_cruncher]

Originally posted by The Ace
Man this is a horrible topic....

Yeah, I know how to get this thread locked.

So who here is circumsized?

[Death55]

Not me ... but i know my friend had that done when he was younger and everyone in school found out and wouldnt shut up about it.

[Seve420]

Seeing we're on the topic of penises, do you think, if I printed t-shirts with these, people would buy them or at least like them?

http://www.geocities.com/sevekranz/fireextinguisher.jpg

http://www.geocities.com/sevekranz/bigboyseve.jpg

Argh!

If the images don't work.......
http://www.geocities.com/sevekranz/tshirt.html

[Displacer]

I might get the fire extinguisher one...not sure about the other one, dont want rowdy redneck coal miners to try hit on/rape me hehe

[beginner]

Originally posted by aiwass
I know, I was being sarcastic.

Oh, and I was too dense to check the sarcarsm.

[TheWizard]

[i]

So who here is circumsized?

[/B]


isn't every one circumsized now a days?

[Axl_Rose]

Not in the UK... no... that the case in the US?

[iiholly]

I don't care how long your guys' manhoods are... I'm sure I'm not the only one either. So if we could end this talk... I would avoid further mental scarring.

[TheWizard]

Yeah dude basically everyone in the US is circumcized

learn something new everyday

[Leedogg]

Originally posted by iiholly
I don't care how long your guys' manhoods are... I'm sure I'm not the only one either. So if we could end this talk... I would avoid further mental scarring.

But mental scarring is good for you. It builds character.

[PRSplaya]

hey! I've got an idea! either talk about sex, sex stories, sex tips, tricks, and stuff like that. not about the size of your member.....nobody cares about that, or at least they shouldn't. I hate to say it, but eggman, if it doesn't get any better, please close this thread.

[finger_cruncher]

Ok, why is anal sex so taboo?

[Azrael]

it is?

[Inisfail]

Has anyone tried the banana/cucumber-trick inside your spandex?

[Axl_Rose]

Originally posted by finger_cruncher
Ok, why is anal sex so taboo?

Ha ha it aint where I live anyway. Thats sumin everyone should only do once! Cos anyone in the right mind wouldnt put themselves through it twice anyway!

[Azrael]

Originally posted by Axl_Rose
Originally posted by finger_cruncher
Ok, why is anal sex so taboo?

Ha ha it aint where I live anyway. Thats sumin everyone should only do once! Cos anyone in the right mind wouldnt put themselves through it twice anyway!

.. you know that you are discriminating homosexual peeps by that, eh? ;)

[PonyOne]

Talking about sex isn't taboo, but being a complete and utter moron is.

Statistically speaking the average penis is 5 inches long. If everyone here was <8in then someone should contact someone from Maxim to do a story on us. I'm not going to bother throwing out numbers because it's kind of retarded, I mean, anyone heard of the saying walk softly but carry a big gun? Dude, I have Beanie Babies on the dash of my Jetta... I am secure enough in my masculinity that I don't have to make a huge deal out of it. But if you want to get into it, look for the "embarassing moments" thread a few months back and read my post there, and in one of the pic threads I put up some pics of the Mrs.

I'm a one trick pony so to speak, I've had the same g/f for 5 years this april (and I'm only 20). I got all the swinging out of my system young. When you find someone you have a deep emotional connection to it only gets better.

[Tank_Simmons]

What's really cool is when you date porn stars. I dated this girl who was in Schindler's Fist (I think)....very sexy chick indeed. We used to watch her own porn movies together....it was wild. She had tricks like you wouldn't believe. That was the best 5 months of my life. I recommend dating a porn star if the opportunity arises.

[aiwass]

Originally posted by Tank_Simmons
What's really cool is when you date porn stars. I dated this girl who was in Schindler's Fist (I think)....very sexy chick indeed. We used to watch her own porn movies together....it was wild. She had tricks like you wouldn't believe. That was the best 5 months of my life. I recommend dating a porn star if the opportunity arises.


ROFL.

[Zeppelin]

Originally posted by Tank_Simmons
What's really cool is when you date porn stars. I dated this girl who was in Schindler's Fist (I think)....very sexy chick indeed. We used to watch her own porn movies together....it was wild. She had tricks like you wouldn't believe. That was the best 5 months of my life. I recommend dating a porn star if the opportunity arises.


hehe
now i know why i havent closed this thread yet.

[Axl_Rose]

Hee hee great thread!
Man Id love to date a porn star! Me and my girl used to take pictures but they were never flattering! And we once used the 15 second video feature on my digital camera :) You can do a lot in 15 secs... dont i no it :(

[iiholly]

Wow... I have a new aspiration... to date a porn star! Thanks...

[b_hoves]

Originally posted by PonyOne


Statistically speaking the average penis is 5 inches long. If everyone here was <8in then someone should contact someone from Maxim to do a story on us

It is a statistic that if a person was going to lie about the size of their penis the answer would almost always be between 7.5” and 8.5”, with the most common number being 8”.

[chris mood]

Originally posted by Tank_Simmons
What's really cool is when you date porn stars.


It kind of sucks when they have to wake up and go to work the next morning though.

[Hammurabi]

Originally posted by b_hoves
Originally posted by PonyOne


Statistically speaking the average penis is 5 inches long. If everyone here was <8in then someone should contact someone from Maxim to do a story on us

It is a statistic that if a person was going to lie about the size of their penis the answer would almost always be between 7.5” and 8.5”, with the most common number being 8”.

I still like to think there's a correlation between large equipment and guitarists.

[the fool]

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Tank_Simmons
What's really cool is when you date porn stars. I dated this girl who was in Schindler's Fist (I think)....very sexy chick indeed. We used to watch her own porn movies together....it was wild. She had tricks like you wouldn't believe. That was the best 5 months of my life. I recommend dating a porn star if the opportunity arises.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Does this pornstar you dated have any pornstar friends by any chance?

[kingdavid]

This tread is interesting,morons included.
Me I'm as big as my IQ;not porn star size,but I'd say above average.
Plus from my knowledge of working with cameras,I know lenses can be decieving;you can take a picture of yourself and look humongous.Lens trick.
About sex stories,if you have the time and inclination to my site(not updated since the middle ages)you'll find one or two tastefully written stories.

[Tank_Simmons]

It was certainly fun that's for sure. I didn't ask if she had any fellow porn friends though...sorry. She was an amazing girl...so sure of herself and she took control like you wouldn't believe. The fact that she was so confident was what really got me.

Porn girl: "You want me...I know you do. Say it, say it!!!"

Me: "You bet your sweet ass I want you."


See what I mean!!

[PRSplaya]

Now this is more like it. To end the subject of size. 98% of the size issue only matters in the eye's of the beholder. If you're uncomfortable with your size, then it's only going to make things worse, but if you're confident with yourself, well that's just great for everybody no matter what size you are.

I'll tell a somewhat funny story that just came to mind. I was with this girl for about 2 years. Things were great, and the sex was amazing. There was only one little catch. after having sex a few times in a row, she would get so loose, that neither one of us could barely feel anything during sex. But after waiting a day or two, it just as tight as it could be, until a few more rounds of sex. I guess she just had really weak muscles down there. Nobody else I've ever been with has been like that though.

Here's another story, but it didn't happen to me. One of my friends was dateing this girl and they were starting to get intiment one night. He decides to go down on her, but when he got down there, he said it was like looking at a chia pet on acid. well, he proceeds to go down on her, only he still has some gum in his mouth. needless to say, with all that hair, and the gum things got pretty sticky...lol she ended up having to cut most of her hair to get the gum out. He nicknamed her furby after that.

[The Ace]

Wow PRS, you have truly taken sex to an artform, including all that psychology crap as well. great.

[PRSplaya]

Why thank you Ace.....lol

[Death55]

Nice stories. I enjoyed them a lot. Maybe you should write a book on sex stories ;)

[the fool]

Quote:
-----------------------------------------------------------------

Originally posted by PRSplaya

Now this is more like it. To end the subject of size. 98% of the size issue only matters in the eye's of the beholder. If you're uncomfortable with your size, then it's only going to make things worse, but if you're confident with yourself, well that's just great for everybody no matter what size you are.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

no matter wat size you are? so it wouldn't matter if for say, a person has a one inch penis if he's confident? i wonder how was Napoleon's sex life when he was still alive.

[PRSplaya]

like I said 98% of the time. either way, confidence shines through everything when you've got it, even a 1 inch penis. True enough that is pretty darn small compaired to the average, and probably couldn't satisfy most females, but if it's all you've got to work with, then learn how to use it to it's fullest.

[the fool]

I still cant imagine how a one inch penis can satisfy a woman no matter how hard that man tries. I think even the Kama Sutra has no answer for guys with a one inch penis. Hell, even a pinky is bigger than an inch. I wonder how Napoleon did it.

[PRSplaya]

maybe the 1 incher's just have to resort to other methods to please a woman.

Anybody else have anything interesting to talk about besides penis size.....again.....

[the fool]

LOL i'm just kidding LOL

[the fool]

but again. how can u be confident if u have a one inch penis?

[Hammurabi]

Mad elite dildo skills. And a strong tongue.

Just pretend you're a lesbian :)

[Lordathestrings]

Originally posted by TheWizard
So who here is circumsized?isn't every one circumsized now a days? [/B]In my family, that's considered a form of mutilation! :eek:

[sambob]

Hmm, I penis is 5 and a half inches long.

I guess I'm less of a man.

[Hammurabi]

By statistics half the guys you'll meet are smaller than you. I wouldn't worry about it.

Circumcision is just..wrong. I thank the good lord every time I see my penis it hasn't been chopped apart by some old guy for some bullshtuffit reason.

Well, not every time. Some kid in a swimming pool locker room once asked me what was wrong with my wiener and in all seriousness the only reason I didn't force his head through the shower drain and stomp on it until he threw up or passed out was because my brother was there.

I will say this, though. Male circumcision is way better than femal circumcision. They shouldn't be called the same thing.


Ok, back on subject..what do you say to a girl to ask her about having sex? I can't think of anything that wouldn't sound cheesy or messed up or wouldn't make me look like a jerk.

[iiholly]

Depends on the situation.

[Jolly McJollyson]

F*** it dude, just blatantly spit it out. Hell, I bet if she's actually willing to get dirty with you, such blatant idiocy wouldn't change her opinion.

[Hammurabi]

Yeah, but if she wasn't willing you know how girls talk about those things. About anything, really.

Never underestimate the level of community of people who don't even piss without a group for support or whatever the hell they do in there.

[TheDirt]

I've never had to ASK a girl to have sex with me... granted, I've only had sex with 3 girls ever (hey, I'm 19, give me a break), but it's always "just happened".

I have a simple plan you can follow...

1) Actually like the girl for who she is. Be able to hold a conversation with her. Want to be with her in a non-sexual manner. Go out on a few dates.

2) Invite her to your house and cook her a meal or watch TV together, a movie, or something, just be alone together.

3) (I'm assuming by this point you can hold her hand or put your arm around her) Arm around her, play with her hair so softly she can barely feel it, caress her neck gently. Other hand - gently stroke her arm and thigh close to her knee. If she responds to this in a good manner (she rubs you back), keep going and see where it leads. If she seems uncomfortable, withdraw and just watch the movie. Make sure you have steps 1 and 2 down if she seems uncomfortable. Eventually you'll "just happen" to kiss and things will snowball from there.

Tips: If you focus on making her happy (both sexually and non) she'll focus on making you happy.

Bonus Info: Massages tend to turn into oral/sex at a surprising rate (but don't expect it, just be happy if it does)

[Hammurabi]

Three girls by 19 isn't too shabby, although some of the more conservative people here might not be fond of the idea.

-I have seriously not had a friend who was not female since about freshman year high school. They've all been girls. I'm comfortable being friends with females, that's my entire experience with them. Girls I can talk to easily, I don't have any problem being around them. See my first post in this thread for more details. My problem is I don't know what it's like being with girls in anything but a non-sexual manner.

-I live in a college dorm and I don't have a tv. I never have had a tv besides an old one my parents have sitting around somewhere that has all the cables in back severed (no display). My cooking is good, even legendary in some things (like my bacon), but all I have to cook with right now is a plastic fork, a knife, an old microwave that smells infected, and a community stove in some public lounge somewhere on campus I can never remember. No dishes, unless you count all the styrofoam cups sitting around from the coffee shop I work at.

Just a side tangent, how the hell does anyone ever become friends with other guys? It's always an uncomfortable and tense situation for me being around guys, I dont' know why. I can't relate to any guys I've ever met in any way, I don't understand them or when I do it's the things that shouldn't happen, I feel like a third gender or something.

I shouldn't post on forums when I'm tired like this early AM. Oops.

[sme331]

Originally posted by the fool
I still cant imagine how a one inch penis can satisfy a woman no matter how hard that man tries. I think even the Kama Sutra has no answer for guys with a one inch penis. Hell, even a pinky is bigger than an inch. I wonder how Napoleon did it.

It doesnt matter, the only person I am concerned about satisfying is ME! JK iHolly....I am on my second marriage and I have 2 kids, You dont have to worry about the size of your unit but I can tell you no amount of confidence is gonna make it look bigger. Hitler only had one ball and he got laid. Soooo, My lesson for the kiddies today, just keep that thing active and know that you will never wear a girls UHUM out. It is like the worlds fair, it gits bigger and better every year.

[Axl_Rose]

Hell I think scotland is way different lol, you dont ask for sex, if you want it you just get in a car and cruise the promonade! ANd I dont mean hookers!

This is a cool thread, really getting to know you guys better :)

About the female friends thing if your a guy. I go to pubs and play pool with my male pals but for jus chilling in my house I always prefer a female pal. Women are cooler to chill with on your own!

[kingdavid]

Originally posted by Death55
Nice stories. I enjoyed them a lot. Maybe you should write a book on sex stories ;)
I'll go out on a limb and assume it's me you're talking too,and go ahead and say thank you,as you are supposed to say when somebody says something nice of you.
I dunno about writing,although some dude once wrote me(a complete stranger who just happened on my site) suggested I should quit physics(which I did,tho not coz he said,it had been coming all along)and take up writing.I once won a consolation prize as a kid in a story writing competerion in a national children's magazine.One of my primary school(grade school to Americans) English teachers once accused me of plagiarism,coz the story I'd written was too good to have been my own.So maybe there just might be some talent there.I'll look into it one day.

About circumcision:

I like the way my penis looks after getting the cut.Straight,nice and shaped for its work.Or maybe it's coz it did get bigger after I got circumsized(I was 13 going to 14) and I attribute the size gain to the operation.But I have no beef with it.

[Inisfail]

So, no cucumber, I see..

[PonyOne]

Hammurabi,

Honestly if I could tell you the right things to say to any girl to get her to do you, I wouldn't be worknig as a car salesman right now, I'd be the world's #1 selling author.

It just depends on the girl, and a lot of things in regards to you/how long you've known her/where you have to do it/etc. I dated a girl once, and I thought to myself "great, I'm never going to get anything out of her" because she always put up this wall of not wanting the whole premarital sex thing. Then we went out on a walk, and were on a bridge behind one of the towers so no one could see us (for those who are confused, look up a pic of the Massachusetts Ave bridge in Boston, MA) and started making out, and I had to persuade her NOT to do anything since we were in public and I wasn't equipped for the moment, so to speak. I had to convince her to get off me.

I know it doesn't really help, but, you just gotta chalk it up to "it just depends."

[kingdavid]

This thread is going just like it's title.Fast and furious to begin with,then it just dies out.

[the fool]

just like sex LOL

[Death55]

but sex doesnt have to be fast and furious !

[u10ajf]

I'm a mr. nice guy. It's really crap. I'm not interested in a woman unless I can form a good friendship with her first. Then, by the time we're friends she knows me well enough not to fancy me! I can't stand the ambiguity of friendships with females. Once they know me they think I'm a nutter and maybe I am, I've lived through some ****ed up times and thought so long and hard about many things it makes them difficult. For instance, if you tell somebody you love them isn't that kind of like emotional blackmail? It's like saying "If you don't love me I'm going to suffer". If you tell somebody you love them then it also becomes their duty to look after themselves, cutting down short term solutions like drugs and alcohol or suicide. But then whose right is it to deprive the alcoholic or the suicidally inclined of a guiltless path towards self- anhilation? If you really loved such a person wouldn't you leave them to it and respect their wishes beyond a self-interested desire to keep the emptiness of grief out of your life?

On the other hand love is such an ambiguous word; you love your friends right? I do. So love can be returned on a non-physical basis, this makes it easier for a person who is not physically attracted to return love. So, to say "I love you" isn't necessarily a big guilt trap, it's easy to return love as a friend. On the other hand there's nothing like physical contact to express affection. Physical contact of any kind could spark sexual jealousy, once this "friend" takes another, a lover, you're left aside so your GTI doppleganger can enjoy a more complete "Friendship" with your friend without becoming jealous.
Perhaps the most important practical difference between friendly and erotic love is jealousy. Erotic love has an element of jealousy, we're happy to share our friends but not our partners. There's a genetic reason for this, genes which code for jealousy and "protection" of a propogator of fit genes outcompete sharing genes that respect the freedom of another more completely.
Perhaps mass swinging could reduce jealousy, if everyone shared perhaps nobody would be so fussy and mingers wouldn't be so deprived of happiness. Things would end up like some big commune, perhaps it would allow a greater de-coupling between the concepts of friendship and of erotic sensation bt perhaps then resultant children would have no particular paternal parent to call their own. Tons of unwanted babies would turn up, loads of STDs.
So, you can't win. Nobody does. Then we all die.

[hairbndrckr]

Man that cucumber thing makes you look like you are walking around with a boner all the time. Use a tube sock... It gives it a longer flaccid look.

As far a sex pickup lines go... you guys all play guitars...you don't need pickup lines. It's a statistical hairbndrckr fact that 90% of the women in the first two rows of the venue you are playing want to be treated to the one eyed trouser monster, sock or not.... the other 10% want to have sex with you AND the chick next to her....

So why aren't you getting laid more people?

Also to make this thread the absolute longest thread in guitar tricks history... I see we haven't touched on sex in public places... what...you all scared?...

You know those glass elevators some of those large shopping malls and some hotels have? Stop one of those and hike up the ol ladys skirt in one of those... of course if there are passengers, ask if they wanna join in on the fun... :)

[finger_cruncher]

I never shared this before, mainly because it's beyond embarassing, but when me and my girlfriend were getting nasty inside the backseat of my car once, all of the sudden these bright flashing lights came out of nowhere. Keep in mind we were on a gravel road in the boonies and it was pitch-black out. We were like 'what the hell??'. Our car windows were all fogged up and someone knocked on the window. My woman rolled down the window and it was a police officer. Talk about embarassing! I thought she (female officer) was going to make us get out of the car naked. The officer was really nice about it and said she was just checking to see if everything was alright. I guess our car looked suspicious parked on the side of the gravel road in the middle of nowhere. I still remember her saying, 'Having a little loving, eh?'. My girlfriend and I were petrified. Definitely one of the most awkward moments I've experienced.

[Death55]

hey finger cruncher thats bad. She could of just said sorry as soon as she realised what was going on and just left you alone.
I've actually had a more embaressing thing happen to me involving a girl and her mum !
I will talk about that later in this thread though :)

[PRSplaya]

one new years eve, me and a girlfriend were in her room having sex, and she had my hands tied to the bed post. Well, next thing I know her mom and drunk step dad walk in on us hands tied up and all. luckily the lights were off and they didn't cut them on. they basically walked in on us to give me their blessing to screw their daughter (not exactly what was said, but it was the basic point). to make things worse they stood their and talked to us for close to 30min. Talk about being uncomfortable, try being tied up with your girlfriend riding the hell out of you and her whole family walks in on you. needless to say, it was all she could do to try to get me to rise to the occasion again.

[alucard0941]

Originally posted by xxkp89xx
Has anyone ever felt a burning sensation after they attempted to staple their penis another guys' penis?

DUHHHH!!!!!!

[the fool]

why would u staple your penis with another guy's penis in the first place?

[Hammurabi]

Because painful porn like that can sell for a lot of money. And I do mean a lot. Some of the more extreme videos like that can sell in the several thousands even after being copied so many times they're all fuzzy and they're severely damaged. There are some very wealthy perverts out there.

[Azrael]

i have seen peeps splitting their members in two halves and stuff like that. each to their own.. *shivers*

[finger_cruncher]

Guitar/Sex fact:

Ya know, shredder guitarists are exceptional masturbators because of the extremely fast technique they've developed through years of alternate picking discipline.



:P

[Azrael]

i do economy and sweep and sometimes two-hand wanking *LOL*

[Edited by Azrael on 03-01-2004 at 05:02 AM]

[Death55]

Originally posted by finger_cruncher
Guitar/Sex fact:

Ya know, shredder guitarists are exceptional masturbators because of the extremely fast technique they've developed through years of alternate picking discipline.
:P
I agree :) Thats seems to be true for me.

[aiwass]

It's the other way around. Masturbation is the reason so many beginners pick from the elbow.

[Pantallica1]

Originally posted by aiwass
It's the other way around. Masturbation is the reason so many beginners pick from the elbow.

LMAO@that!!!!!

[u10ajf]

What a mindless thread. All people seem to talk about is the length of their dicks. A porn star, Asia Carrera, said that she and many others in her line of work don't like doing guys with big dicks and that a normal sized one hits the g-spot fine and that's all she needs. And as for the clitoris, well, stimulating that doesn't need a dick at all.

This is all stupid.

[PRSplaya]

well if you think it's stupid, then don't come back to this thread.....duh. btw...lmao @ Az'

[Hammurabi]

Originally posted by u10ajf
What a mindless thread. All people seem to talk about is the length of their dicks. A porn star, Asia Carrera, said that she and many others in her line of work don't like doing guys with big dicks and that a normal sized one hits the g-spot fine and that's all she needs. And as for the clitoris, well, stimulating that doesn't need a dick at all.

This is all stupid.

Ask her which videos make more $$, the ones with impressive equipment or the mediocre ones.

[basics]

Penis size - females vengence on feeling insecure about their breasts size. Just like a pretty face. Everybody wants one or to have one at their side until it gets old and then it's terribly depressing. Physical attributes, in my opinion, are a way to make money and not to be discussed seriously or by intelligent people.

Mind you, when a bit of cash comes my way, I'm going to extend my tongue 4 inches and get a 13 incher installed. And then I'm not going to associate with female who doesn't partake in anal activites and if it hurts, I don't care. If you feel no pleasure, who cares! You're only a female and an object of desire right? Trophy bitches and fame whores for me.

[hairbndrckr]

Asia Carerra says that crap because all she does all day is get plowed by anacondas. It's kinda like doing work at home. You go to work and use the industrial equipment all day, and when you come home to do stuff, you pull out the light-duty equipment cause you don't have to work as hard at home as you do at work.

Any woman who says "Size doesn't matter" probably has already "been there and done that, brought the t-shirt home"... They don't want the "average" male to feel insecure and be deprived of the nookie, cause they truly want it more than men... so they LIE... Yes gentlemen, they LIE.... Men are from Mars, and women like PENIS...large that it....if they didn't, penile implants wouldn't be offered on the plastic surgery menu...

Man some of you people are lame... where are the good public sex stories.... ok ok here is one of mine....

Back in the olden days of hair (80's to the yung'ins out there), my girl and I skipped school to check out the first week of Spring Break in Daytona... This was back when you could actually drive on the beach... Well, my girl and I were sitting behind the car watching the people drive by, and it was packed... She threw a towel over us and started in with the hand... then she ducked under for a little pole polishing... Needless to say a lot of folks were honking and waving and cheering her on... a lot of "chug, chug, chug" being chanted also for some reason ;)

[Lordathestrings]

Originally posted by basics
... Trophy bitches and fame whores for me. Of course, this assumes you will achieve fame.... :rolleyes:

[basics]

haha, assuming is my middle name.

[basics]

Great story by the way, man. I've never been to a beach party of any decent size but I'd imagine it'd be sweet.

[finger_cruncher]

Here's a funny one.....how about erections at inappropriate times?

[Hammurabi]

Slow dance at prom with a hardcore biblical fundamentalist.

[Christoph]

This is the stupidest thread of all time.

[basics]

haha, yeah. And I contributed. What's that mean, you wanna fight? :) I am somewhat ashamed actually that I wrote that bit and now I'll delete it. lol.

[PRSplaya]

If this is such a pointless thread, then why have so many people viewed and posted in this thread? How hard is it to not participate in or overlook a thread that you find pointless. I don't particularly care fo rthe who vs. who threads, but I just overlook them and don't participate in them. I don't go in there and whine about how stupid or pointless their thread is. So, if you don't have anything to say pertaining to the topic, go somewhere else to complain

[iamthe_eggman]

Originally posted by PRSplaya
If this is such a pointless thread, then why have so many people viewed and posted in this thread? How hard is it to not participate in or overlook a thread that you find pointless. I don't particularly care fo rthe who vs. who threads, but I just overlook them and don't participate in them. I don't go in there and whine about how stupid or pointless their thread is. So, if you don't have anything to say pertaining to the topic, go somewhere else to complain

Having a bad day?

[schalk]

Hi to all.I am the new kid on the block,just wanna say great fun reading the sex forum.My first langauge is afrikaans sorry for any
spelling errors.Atleast you can play the guitar in any langauge

[PRSplaya]

Originally posted by iamthe_eggman
Having a bad day?

You could say that. For some reason I alway's get edgy around my birthday.

[Gainer]

Originally posted by basics
I hate chicks, man. They're a distraction to my art and my profession. Not to say I don't disprove of the physical side of life (relating to pleasure) but as far as relationships go, **** em. No pun intended.

I totally agree.

[Death55]

I have to agree as well. If some girl comes along fair enough, but im not wasting my time with anything serious or even just trying to find a girl.

[PRSplaya]

When did this thread get a rating, and how? oh wait, nevermind, I found it.

[Jimmysticks]

haha, i've got a funny story.

So about a year ago I was giving it to this guy, and I mean really giving it to this guy. And right when I was really getting into it, he whips around and grabs my balls. So I was like, What the **** dude, are you Gay?

[Death55]

WTF :confused:

[hairbndrckr]

OK OK Someone take the keyboard away from Jimmy... He's cut off...

[Akira]

I just have to ressurect this thread. :cool:

Once when my g/f was going down on me, her dad walked in, she moved as fast as lightening, luckly he didn't see anything, we hope...

Also, when we were havign sex one time, her 13 year old brother decided to walk in, we had to run for the door and hold him out while we got dressed, that was close...

[1791]

i got a story for you one time me and my g/f just started doin it and her dad walked in i had to run like hell i grabed my pants and split her dad was like
six foot two and had to way over 250 puonds he took one swing at me and missed whill i was runing i didnt see her again for two months after that that scard
the s*** out of me

[jake sommers]

We all need Jesus!!!!!

[SPL]

You guys ever hear of the concept of "locking your door"...?

[Akira]

You guys ever hear of the concept of "locking your door"...?

She doesn't have a lock on her bedroom door unfortunatly, but she's getting one soon. :D :rolleyes:

[crazyguy]

Congratulations to u10ajf on the depths achieved while contemplating love. I need an emotional background behind sex, otherwise it's pale in comparison. I like sex but I don't need it. I do need love, but I don't like it because I'm a SuperNiceGuy who is always ****ed up when the story ends and need months to recover. Looking straight in the eyes of a girl passing me by and hearing her 'comments' about what should be done is enough to feed my ego and make me feel good. I do, however, get drunk or high enough not to care about it, and remember almost nothing in the morning, but in that state I could have as well climbed a tree to feed the birdies or barked at the dogs.
I'm most sattisfied with my playing when I'm not having sex for a while and am emotionally broken for whatever reason. Breaking up with a girlfriend after 5 years a year ago was a revelation. She liked me playing the guitar at the beginning, but started complaining soon, which effectively reduced my inspiration to 10%.
Being in love can inspire me for a shorter period. The most beautifull song I've ever composed was induced by a girl I've never even kissed.
Now I should spend a while writing fun stories about sex to blend in but I choose not to.

[6strngs_2hmbkrs]

ok yeah so sex stories, alright here we go. this one time i was.... oh screw it I'm a virgin. but I'm only 15 so I got some time, but my fricken parents have to have me home schooled (which is the most BORING thing ever :mad: ) so the only place I can really meet chicks is at church... needless to say I get no lovin from those girls, they are such hardcore christians that they think like making out is wrong, they don't even kiss you till you've dated them for a month. it's just wrong. hopefully next year I'll get a job, then I can meet coworkers, and since I live in california ALL the girls here are hot, well like 9 out of 10 grils are hot, whereas in other parts of the country i've been it's like 4 out of every 10 chicks you see are hot.

and btw the thing about guitarists being expert masturbators, well I was already an expert masturbator then I started playing guitar and could play really fast to begin with... ;)

[PonyOne]

i'd totally forgotten about this thread...

hmm, no penis talk in the new posts... right on.

[audioanimal]

ok yeah so sex stories, alright here we go. this one time i was.... oh screw it I'm a virgin. but I'm only 15 so I got some time....

LOL....

Don't worry, you have plenty of time to screw your life up chasing women.

Peace,
-Rick

[iiholly]

I know what you actually meant was make your life ten times better... so i'll just let it go.

[Jolly McJollyson]

I know what you actually meant was make your life ten times better... so i'll just let it go.
HA! Yeah, sex is great, but women suck major ass. Sorry, babe, but your kind seem to run out after four or five hookups, and if they don't, they're SO much work that I have to get the hell out of Dodge. I think I'm gonna just be gay. I think the trade-off of gay sex for no nagging is almost worth it...

[Akira]

I think the trade-off of gay sex for no nagging is almost worth it...

I'd rather have the nagging, I don't like the idea of someone invading my poopy space. (I have nothing against gays, I'd just rather not be on the recieving end of someones love rod.)

[Lordathestrings]

... I think I'm gonna just be gay. I think the trade-off of gay sex for no nagging is almost worth it...LOL. My gay friends bitch about their partners as much as my straight friends do.

[Jolly McJollyson]

I'd rather have the nagging, I don't like the idea of someone invading my poopy space.
OK, it's official. I have the sense of humor of a 4-year-old child. When I read the "invading my poopy space" I swear to God I laughed for almost 5 minutes.

[PRSplaya]

OK, it's official. I have the sense of humor of a 4-year-old child.

There are soooo many phrases that could go in place of "sense of humor" for Jolly. Hmm.... first one that comes to mind is "maturity level"...lol!

Hey, lets start a new thread called Jolly has the (insert phrase here) of a 4 year old. I'm sure there are plenty of people on this board that would enjoy that. :D

[PonyOne]

uh-oh... the thread has hit new lows... "poopy space," "poop chute," "love rocket," sounds like we're falling to the ADHD spectrum of PG-13!

(you guys do know I don't actually care, right?)

[Spynal]

RESURRECTION TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

As a comedian once said: Having girls as a friend is like having $19 in the bank and looking at your ATM Card ... (for you Euros $20 is the minimum withdrawal at most ATMs)



STORY Time:


So me and my ex were getting kinda frisky and she threw me down and we start rasslin .... while removing our clothing ... not sure how it happened, but it did. So, we're throwing each other around and such, gettin' all frisky-isky and i pick her up and throw her over my shoulder onto the bed, and all you hear is "CRASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" followed by a thud and an "ow" ...... when you look up, she had crashed her foot into my light fixture and torn it to shreds, then fell to the floor. Our friends in the other room came running in to find us half naked with her on the ground and glass shards EVERYWHERE. So I grabbed the vacuum, cleaned up the glass, then we agreed not to wrestly anymore that night. After all this, we still decided sex was on and the rest is .... well ... sex (Note, we saved the biggest shards and wrote our names on them for memories sake)

I've got more, but I'll save them for a later time


For the record: I'm 19, and I've been smitten with the burden of giving the beef to 7 different females to this point ..... with more on the way I'm sure.

[Akira]

What happened to my post? :confused:

[Jolly McJollyson]

There are soooo many phrases that could go in place of "sense of humor" for Jolly. Hmm.... first one that comes to mind is "maturity level"...lol!

Hey, lets start a new thread called Jolly has the (insert phrase here) of a 4 year old. I'm sure there are plenty of people on this board that would enjoy that. :D
hahaha, BRING IT ON!!! But I'll have you know, that I'm at LEAST equivalent to a six-year-old in the penile department. Any day of the week.

[Lordathestrings]

... But I'll have you know, that I'm at LEAST equivalent to a six-year-old in the penile department. Any day of the week.I'm guessing a six year old Clydesdale stallion would give you some competition. :D

[PRSplaya]

hahaha, BRING IT ON!!! But I'll have you know, that I'm at LEAST equivalent to a six-year-old in the penile department. Any day of the week.


Except on day's that end with y right :cool:

[Jolly McJollyson]

I'm guessing a six year old Clydesdale stallion would give you some competition. :D
Psh...Maybe if it we're NINE Clydesdale's put together!

[Lordathestrings]

Psh...Maybe if it were NINE Clydesdale's put together!End-to-end or side-by-each? :D

[meandmyRG]

sorry to revert this thread back to an infantile playground for the sexually deprived but I would like to bring the whole science of penis size v guitar players into a new light.

Now as we have proven beyond doubt, the average male gt member(take that as you will) is at least 8inches, but to remove any scepticism about these outrageous discoveries I must ask, what of the female users? So far we have only discussed male genitalia so, could the dimentions of the females over the shoulder boulder holders reveal the one missing link between endowment and guitars?

While reading some of the earlier posts on this thread a little whisper echoed through mind, as I read more it became louder and clearer until words started to form and I realised what was being said, "song" it said to me "one inch" and it hit me, A song about a one inch penis man the grandest song to have ever been created, created from the depths of insanity. I shut up now.

"That one inch penis mannn, ya know he's doin the best can"


Sorry to destroy everyones good job of resurecting this thread but I dont know how to turn the voices off.

[munqy]

Woman are a distraction?

"I'm good looking and have yay sized scwhanger"

we can see where this is all going!
u GUYS are trying to pick up other GUYS on a guitar forum????

i rest my case, go get a social life or do sumthin about it! and yes whoever posted last this is a very sad topic

i shudder at the thought of ever being addicited to this forum!


edit: thats funny the last page i was reading wasn't the last page so the last person to diss this post gets props from me. But its rite after the whole " i have yay sized .... etc "

[Akira]

*over elaborate cough*

[PonyOne]

okay, this is the be all and end all of the whole penis issue...

if you have one, then regardless of its size, you can use it for its intended purposes and probably pleasure a female in the pricess. and not thinking about your penis and instead trying to be a nice person will go a reeeeally long way.

i mean, if you met a girl who was really cool and pretty attractive who you went out with who wasn't the best endowed up top but still had all the parts where they were supposed to be, you'd probably date her. it's really no different to girls when it comes to guys...

[chucklivesoninmyheart]

Yeah,a guys 'size' has much more to do with bragging among your own sex than impressing any girls.

[Akira]

No more penis's. Lets talk boobs. :D

What is everyones view on boob jobs?

[chucklivesoninmyheart]

Never had a boob job...wait...I think I read that wrong...you mean getting silicon...oh.

Natural is best.Fake boobs are just too fake.

[Akira]

What if you was dating someone who was like, a 32AA and they wanted a boob job? Yay or nay?

[PonyOne]

it really depends... i work with a girl who's really cute, i seem to recall she's half korean/half white or something like that. girls who are half asian/half white (aka halvsies, hapas, amerasian) seem to have this habit of being shockingly beautiful, but, it would seem that the samurai gene is predisposed to disembowling the big breast gene when all the traits get sorted out, because i have only met one half asian girl who was naturally busty and she wasn't amazingly so. my family has a small bit of asian in it and that seems to have eradicated the northern european bosominess out of my female relatives... to quote my fiance, after first meeting my family, "jesus, your family is flat." not that i really care. it just means i'm less apt to have to beat up guys for leering at my sister or daughters someday :D

anyway yeah this girl got implants, so, basically, she's this super-cute 5'1, 105-lb thing with no hips and a tiny chest with two really big breasts that don't seem bounce or jiggle right and are up too high. but she was exactly what you said, a 32AA (read: beestings). now she's a 32D, which looks... weird.

on the other hand i've met women who had implants, who i was amazed to find out had siliconed up, because they outwardly looked natural. i guess it boils down to it being her body and her being able to do what she wants with it. if she feels like it will make her happy, why not? as long as she feels secure otherwise and has thought it out, cool.

on the flipside of the spectrum, my g/f, who is far from lacking in the bosom dept., said she'll probably get a breast lift after we have kids; maybe sooner if she has another spurt. basically, naturally speaking, breasts have most of their tissue situated fairly low on them, which is why they have a teardrop-ish shape from the side. the bigger a breast gets, they will generally weigh down (each of hers weight about 5 lbs each). after childbirth, hormones kick into gear, making the breasts produce more tissue (breast tissue weighs more than fat), as well as producing milk, which adds further weight. breast lifts basically remove some of the flesh and lift the breast up without damaging the breast tissue.

i love big boobs but after having been with a girl who's soared through the sizes through and since high school (36C, D, DD, DDD, E) I can comiserate on some of the negative side effects of them. First of all they're expensive. Her bras cost 2x what a B cup bra does and they're near impossible to find in the first place. T shirts are a tough one, too; chest/tummy wise she's a small, but boob wise she's a large or XL, so, they either hang off her boobs and make it look like she has a gut, or, stretch out like mad and last for no time at all. She works at the Gap, and if she ever has to reach across the counter to pick something up, they hit the register keyboard and then the register makes a horrid "you pushed too many keys you tard" sound, causing everyone to stare (if they weren't already). And if she has to reach to the top shelf at a supermarket, since she's short and has to stand close to it, they will smack into stuff. once she took out an entire shelf of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

The bigger problem is social, though... she stopped swim team back in high school after they started garnering too much unwanted attention (and people started referring to her as "bouyant gaby" to differentiate from the other Gaby at our school, after the swim coach said, while watching her backstroke, "my those are... bouyant."). It took awhile for her to get used to people constantly staring, and she gets all sorts of lewd comments, gestures and proposals. she rides a bike to work, and guys will slow down and either try to get a date or just say something like "are those things real? can i see them?" Also, she's been accused of being to provocative while wearing a t-shirt with an enormous bra underneath when other girls get away with wearing next to nothing.

not that i'm complaining or anything :D

[Lordathestrings]

it really depends... anyway yeah this girl got implants, so, basically, she's this super-cute 5'1, 105-lb thing with no hips and a tiny chest with two really big breasts that don't seem bounce or jiggle right and are up too high. but she was exactly what you said, a 32AA (read: beestings). now she's a 32D, which looks... weird.Weird? At least! That's not 'enhancement' - that's grotesque! :eek:

Part of the post-op recovery is the need for frequent massage to ensure that there's no buildup of rigid scar tissue. That sounds like a dream assignment, but it really makes you aware of how unnatural they feel. And, especially with gross over-compensation like your co-worker underwent, the breast can't support the extra bulk, and within a year or two, she'll need more surgery, because her breasts will look like beach balls with 1/3 of the air let out. That's just all-round sad. What a waste.

[Akira]

Boobs rock, so happy and bouncy. :D

[PonyOne]

and within a year or two, she'll need more surgery, because her breasts will look like beach balls with 1/3 of the air let out. That's just all-round sad. What a waste.
and after it all they will be much less pleasant to look at than they were when they were super-tiny little things.

with the right type of stimlation (incl. massage) breasts can usually go up a cup size or even a couple over the course of a few months... maybe she should have tried that first.

[6strngs_2hmbkrs]

natural is definately better, I would much rather have a girl with a cute face and A cups than a girl with DD and a not so good looking face. actually I think smaller breasts look better on most girls, if they are really skinny and an overall small person than smaller breasts just fit better. and that's the kinda look I'm attracted too. now I wouldn't say no to someone like Brooke Burke either :p :p :p

[Lordathestrings]

I'm 52 years old. If a woman my age with a DD bra size sleeps on her back, she wakes up with a breast in each armpit. :eek:

Think about that for a while.






Small is beautiful. :D

[Tank_Simmons]

Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Posts: 2,838


I'm 52 years old. If a woman my age with a DD bra size sleeps on her back, she wakes up with a breast in each armpit.

Think about that for a while.






Small is beautiful.

-------------------------
I am scarred forever more......sweet Jesus!!

[chucklivesoninmyheart]

Now heres a thought...

Are boobs sexually attractive because they are an 'explicit private' area or is it because throughout history,many societies and country's demand they must be covered to some degree?

why I ask is,boobs arn't THAT sexually attractive to me.once you get past the 'oh yeah,her shirt and undergarment are off!' it becomes almost "well they are boobs...so what"...while the vagina will still seem like "Thats a VAGINA!!!"

anyway...yeah just a thought.

[Tank_Simmons]

My father always used to say...."Son, it doesn't matter how big a woman's boobs are....all you need is a handful." Those are definitely words to live by.

To me personally, boobs are very attractive, but are not the "it" thing I look for in a woman. I'm more of a leg and butt man myself. Nothing matches the feeling a woman wrapping her legs around ya.....you teenagers on this board take a lesson from ole Tank here.....legs are the way to go.

[Akira]

Boobs are still fun to play with. :D

[finger_cruncher]

This thread is as old as the yogurt in my fridge.







...cellular modular interactive odular

[Jolly McJollyson]

...cellular modular interactive odular
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring...BANANAPHONE!

[PRSplaya]

and Axl was bragging about how many posts his "boo hoo hoo, my g/f left me" thread had...lol


(Just messin' with ya Axle, don't take it personal ;) )

[magicninja]

This thread actually died? It seems its almost the only thing besides guitar most of the members actually have an interest in.

[jeffhx]

I still cant imagine how a one inch penis can satisfy a woman no matter how hard that man tries. I think even the Kama Sutra has no answer for guys with a one inch penis. Hell, even a pinky is bigger than an inch. I wonder how Napoleon did it.

i thought napolean was gay

i did my ex till she bled...couple of times... i have no idea why...its her.. not me...frustrating really...cos by then its too painful

[Guitar_guy]

This thread is crazy....... :D

[bigbuda]

Once when i was 15 me and a friend were double teaming this chick in my bedroom at around 2am. She was on her hands and knees and I was in front while my buddy was taking care of the rear. So we're giving it to her and all of the sudden my mom walks in. All she said was "excuse me, sorry." then she shut the door and walked away. The next morning my mom had alot of questions. :D

[acapella]

I just got here. Took me two hours to read all this! And I have nothing to contribute. Never had sex. Never had...anything. I have a guitar though. We make do ;)

[heknowsnothing]

Once when i was 15 me and a friend were double teaming this chick in my bedroom at around 2am. She was on her hands and knees and I was in front while my buddy was taking care of the rear. So we're giving it to her and all of the sudden my mom walks in. All she said was "excuse me, sorry." then she shut the door and walked away. The next morning my mom had alot of questions. :D
God, that is embarrasing!

[Tonja_Renee]

Now this thread is better, (well except when everyone was giving up sizes..) at least there are partners....

From a woman's point of view... I love sex, I love everything about it. I have great sex and not great sex. I guess being my age - I'm starting to ramp into my sexual prime, because it seemed as soon as I hit a certain age - POW... I wanted it all the time...

I don't know if other women are like this, but if a man can't overpower me in bed - I really dont want anything to do with him after that.... All that gentle crap that woman go on about - well I just don't get it.. (I shouldn't say that - I like it to start with - you know to feel wanted and all but once that fires lit - watchout - anything goes)....

It's too early in the morning to keep talking this way - I won't get anything done :)

[jeffhx]

well..it IS a fact that women grow sexually more active at the late 20s to 30s... while men grow earlier... it happens i guess...

[PRSplaya]

Wow! I completely forgot about this thread. Unfortunately, I have nothing new to add :o

[rockonn91]

mmmm, yeh... im with acapella. :o

[heknowsnothing]

this must be the biggest thread ive ever seen.

[Tonja_Renee]

I want to give my Woman's point a view when it comes to penis sizes.... After seeing all the male views and not too much input for the few girls there are - I have to have my say... We are not all prudes....

It really doesn't have to be large for us girls... actually I prefer a more modest sized member....

There a lots of positions out there to compensate for length and such....and as long as you both get off - who cares.... If a woman is going to have sex with you and you get far enough to show her yours....well regardless of size she not going to stop and say - I'm sorry it just isn't big enough - come on - who would do that!! She probably really likes you anyway for other reasons and it just doesn't matter after that. There probably as horny as you are - although they probably won't admit it... :)

And not to mention the Oral part of it - Well the bigger it is the harder it is to do.... So one of the pros of having a average penis is better head, probably the smaller you are the better it would be...... just something to think about. :p

[rockonn91]

hmm, your getting popular around these parts, Tonja. :D

[Tonja_Renee]

SEX is my favorite subject to talk about...

I was brought up in a home where sex was talked about - My mom got pregnant when she was 15 with my older brother - as did her mother with her...

So she said the best way to avoid that with me was education.... She was great, and knew how powerful those hormones could be...

I think education is the best policy when it comes to sex - the more you know the better at it you will be :D

[Cryptic Excretions]

I still can't relate to anything in this thread.

[Tonja_Renee]

I still can't relate to anything in this thread.


I don't believe that - after some of the conversations that we have had....

[Cryptic Excretions]

I don't believe that - after some of the conversations that we have had....
It's true. Every last bit. I've never even had a girlfriend.

[Tonja_Renee]

It's true. Every last bit. I've never even had a girlfriend.

I'm confused :confused: You have never had a girlfriend...is this by choice??

[Cryptic Excretions]

I'm confused :confused: You have never had a girlfriend...is this by choice??
Well... yes and no. By no means am I concerned at all about dating. On the other hand it's not like I'm a very public person, so it's not like I really have the option readily accessible. But even if I did have it available, I'd be pretty much apt to turn it down.

[Tonja_Renee]

Well... yes and no. By no means am I concerned at all about dating. On the other hand it's not like I'm a very public person, so it's not like I really have the option readily accessible. But even if I did have it available, I'd be pretty much apt to turn it down.


That's cool. I believe you have to be ready for that.... It can get quite complicated very quickly... and if you start something for the wrong reasons, or if you are not ready for it - people can get hurt... Yeah, take your time - your young and there are alot more important things than sex...(yes I did just say that..) ;)

[jeffhx]

amen to wat tonja just said...im not sure if its too much american movies or watever... butinfluence is what that tend to bring teenagers to the thought that sex is everything...especially in building up and image... but i reckon that its crap.... perhaps its nth more than a gimmick... if i were you... id think more abt having a career and being stable in my life financially speaking...i dont know abt u guys but honestly, im bored of sex... probably because i need more sexual partners but nonetheless, its nth special at all... and sex is so freakin common nowadays...id prefer drinking than sex... lol...

[Hammurabi]

Sex will continue to be overrated so long as there is a commercial market for its appeal.

[Tonja_Renee]

Once when i was 15 me and a friend were double teaming this chick in my bedroom at around 2am. She was on her hands and knees and I was in front while my buddy was taking care of the rear. So we're giving it to her and all of the sudden my mom walks in. All she said was "excuse me, sorry." then she shut the door and walked away. The next morning my mom had alot of questions. :D


I could not do the "group" thing - I'm to insecure for that. But I could definately watch... :D

[Cryptic Excretions]

I dunno, with what I'm working for in my life, I can't help but to see sex and dating as distractions that'll veer me away from my goals.

[Cryptic Excretions]

Once when i was 15 me and a friend were double teaming this chick in my bedroom at around 2am. She was on her hands and knees and I was in front while my buddy was taking care of the rear. So we're giving it to her and all of the sudden my mom walks in. All she said was "excuse me, sorry." then she shut the door and walked away. The next morning my mom had alot of questions.
Did you keep going afterwards?

[Tonja_Renee]

Sex will continue to be overrated so long as there is a commercial market for its appeal.


Sex is probably the most instinctive, natural thing on this planet... We have made it very taboo to talk about, which naturally makes it very intriguing to everyone. People cash in on that aspect, from movies, books to music....

It's the one thing that sooner or later - everyone does - in one form or another.

[jeffhx]

sooner or later???!!! you've got to be kidding me

[Tonja_Renee]

sooner or later???!!! you've got to be kidding me

You don't agree?

[jeffhx]

yes i dont agree... i reckon everyone's doing it now!!! its such a common thing now.. at least from where i've come from.... in the US i'd think its even more common

[Cryptic Excretions]

You don't agree?
I'm gonna have to agree with Jeffhx. Kinda thing is I've made it a point in my life to never procreate. For many reasons, some of which have been mentioned. It's a big marketing tool and a lot of jack asses walk around thinking they're big shots because they've gotten into some girl's pants. Don't want kids.... ever. It's instinct. Primal instinct. Nothing more.

[Cryptic Excretions]

yes i dont agree... i reckon everyone's doing it now!!! its such a common thing now.. at least from where i've come from.... in the US i'd think its even more common
Ok, when I agreed with you I thought you meant something else, so I guess I don't agree after all.

[jeffhx]

again...im not sure of how theculture is like over there...but from where ive come from... it's just another 'flip the page' issue... or it could be too much hollywood... rectify me

[SPL]

i thought napolean was gay

Homos like sex too ya know.

[jeffhx]

im aware of that...it was just a staement... im still unsure if he is or not lol!!

[SPL]

Can't say I have an answer to that either.

[Tonja_Renee]

Now as we have proven beyond doubt, the average male gt member(take that as you will) is at least 8inches, but to remove any scepticism about these outrageous discoveries I must ask, what of the female users? So far we have only discussed male genitalia so, could the dimentions of the females over the shoulder boulder holders reveal the one missing link between endowment and guitars?

36D....and I don't joke about stuff like that :) It does kind of suck though - they get in the way when sitting down with my guitar..... It takes some clever positioning....

[jeffhx]

hmm...interesting tonja.. :)

[bigbuda]

Did you keep going afterwards?


Hell yeah! You know it man!

[Tonja_Renee]

Speaking of interesting....

The Funniest compliment I ever got (well I didn't quite know how to take it when it was said, but now when I think of it - it was quite funny) was a guy friend (we have never dated or anything, just a friend) and he was saying that I had very nice lips (the ones on my face...) - anyway I was thinking, wow that's a nice thing to say and then he said........

You know Tonja you have the kind of lips that a guy would love to see wrapped around their D*ck.... There was complete silence for about a good 15 seconds or so and then I said .......uhhh Thank you?

The rest of my friends were rolling on the floor laughing - I had no idea how to take that.....

He said he meant it in a nice way.....I chuckle everytime I think of that - Men - the things they say and actually think we'll like... I was like "What did you think I was going to say - Geee Thanks let go and I'll show you what they look like....... Please, Men sometimes........ :)

[Cryptic Excretions]

Now as we have proven beyond doubt, the average male gt member(take that as you will) is at least 8inches, but to remove any scepticism about these outrageous discoveries I must ask, what of the female users? So far we have only discussed male genitalia so, could the dimentions of the females over the shoulder boulder holders reveal the one missing link between endowment and guitars?
Questions I could never bring myself to ask a woman for 500, Alex.

36D....and I don't joke about stuff like that :) It does kind of suck though - they get in the way when sitting down with my guitar..... It takes some clever positioning....
Perhaps that's why there are significantly fewer female guitarists.


Speaking of interesting....

The Funniest compliment I ever got (well I didn't quite know how to take it when it was said, but now when I think of it - it was quite funny) was a guy friend (we have never dated or anything, just a friend) and he was saying that I had very nice lips (the ones on my face...) - anyway I was thinking, wow that's a nice thing to say and then he said........

You know Tonja you have the kind of lips that a guy would love to see wrapped around their D*ck.... There was complete silence for about a good 15 seconds or so and then I said .......uhhh Thank you?

The rest of my friends were rolling on the floor laughing - I had no idea how to take that.....

He said he meant it in a nice way.....I chuckle everytime I think of that - Men - the things they say and actually think we'll like... I was like "What did you think I was going to say - Geee Thanks let go and I'll show you what they look like....... Please, Men sometimes........
Sometimes I'm not even sure what guys are thinking. I'm not even going to touch that one because if I do then I'm going to over analyze and most likely end up getting too vulgar with my words... and I"m not in the mood to take a ruler to the hands right now.

[Akira]

It's good to have a female point of view on this subject. No, really, it is.

I <3 oral sex

*ahem*

[acapella]

I've had less than three oral sex too. That's nothing to be ashamed of, Akira.

[bigbuda]

I've had less than three oral sex too. That's nothing to be ashamed of, Akira.

Oh man that reminds me of another story. I was about 17 when this happened. So, me and some friends go to this party out in the country at this house. There's this girl there and we start talking, one thing leads to another and somehow we end up in my pickup and she's giving me head. This is taking place right outside the house. She's going at it like a champ when all of the sudden she starts to gag. I'm like "slow down baby it's not a race." The next thing I know this chick barfs in my lap! Then she gets out of the truck and runs in the house. So, there I am, sitting in my pickup with my pants down around my ankles and a lap full of puke. A couple of my friends come out to check on me and I start yelling "Don't come over here man, you don't want to see this." I talk them into going to get some paper towels from the house. I clean myself up the best I can and then I have to drive 25 miles home covered in puke from the waist down. I immediatley took a shower and never saw that chick again. :D

[Hammurabi]

Damn, BB. You're a total pimp. It's sexy bastards like you that make it impossible for the rest of us to get any because all the b*tches are allready busy pleasing you.

[bigbuda]

Damn, BB. You're a total pimp. It's sexy bastards like you that make it impossible for the rest of us to get any because all the b*tches are allready busy pleasing you.


Nah, I'm married now. Been off the market for 10 years. It's all you man. Go get'em tiger.

[Akira]

I've had less than three oral sex too. That's nothing to be ashamed of, Akira.

:rolleyes:

And lmfao at bigbuda's puke story.

[Tonja_Renee]

Oh man that reminds me of another story. I was about 17 when this happened. So, me and some friends go to this party out in the country at this house. There's this girl there and we start talking, one thing leads to another and somehow we end up in my pickup and she's giving me head. This is taking place right outside the house. She's going at it like a champ when all of the sudden she starts to gag. I'm like "slow down baby it's not a race." The next thing I know this chick barfs in my lap! Then she gets out of the truck and runs in the house. So, there I am, sitting in my pickup with my pants down around my ankles and a lap full of puke. A couple of my friends come out to check on me and I start yelling "Don't come over here man, you don't want to see this." I talk them into going to get some paper towels from the house. I clean myself up the best I can and then I have to drive 25 miles home covered in puke from the waist down. I immediatley took a shower and never saw that chick again. :D

ROTFLMFAO....... That is the funniest thing I have ever heard... How embarassing...oh man... that was funny!!!

[ericthecableguy]

this forum is starting to turn a tad bit "gay" with the discussion of penis's and "my penis is this and that and oh yeah it can do tricks too...""
man was i fooled by the title of the forum..lol

I'd say
"this forum is way too "gay" with the discussion of penis's and "my penis is this and that and oh yeah it can do tricks too..."

[PonyOne]

Tonja,

Can't recommend any acoustics but I know my ex said that the only guitars that were comfortable for her to play were Explorers... I guess the upper cutaway is deep enough that it's unobtrusive in the boobage dept.

It's kind of funny reading this thread, with all its old "my fiance" posts I left... since we broke up... sigh. Oh well, it's better this way...

Now I'm seeing someone else... it's cool. We went out to Chinese last night and she ordered in Chinese; we got way big portions and it was better than it usually is!!! Let's hear it for interracial dating.

Which leads me to something else... OK, this is one of the more interesting things that has popped up in our relationship. I'm a large Scandanavian guy, you know, I'm like 6'1 and built. I have enormous feet and big hands and all that... and I'm built to serve a suitably large Scandanavian woman (or women, as it may be), and I guess I was built for particularly large Scandanavian women... So now I'm dating a little asian girl, who's body is meant to accomodate little Asian penii. This creates some trouble when we're trying to get started... takes a few minutes... I mean it feels awesome once you get going, and for this I'm thankful :D I felt kind of bad for her for the first few weeks.

She likes it a bit rough, which I'm not a fan of personally but I take the attitude that I'm there to please... I just give her both the gentleness and the roguhness, you know, keep her happy. I'm sorry but most guys out there seem to either be way into the rough part, or just aren't in tune to what a girl wants in the first place, so in my experience just giving it to them good makes happy.

Also... remember: nice guys finish last... I can't emphasize this enough guys... learn to hold it in. Internalize the ecstacy. Trust me... it works.

[Akira]

Also... remember: nice guys finish last... I can't emphasize this enough guys... learn to hold it in. Internalize the ecstacy. Trust me... it works.

Haha, yeah.

Thing is, I usually hold in till she's had a good go around, and then when it's time for me to go, I just keep going!! By the end of it all she's had more than her fair share of pleasure and i'm a dehydrated pile on the floor!!

Meh, it's all good.

[stackny]

Hahah..hahahahah.ahahahahahah. Worst thread ever.

[PonyOne]

Hahah..hahahahah.ahahahahahah. Worst thread ever.
most pointless post in the worst thread ever!

(sound of chorus of black ladies in background going "oooooh" and "ice cold!")

[stackny]

most pointless post in the worst thread ever!

(sound of chorus of black ladies in background going "oooooh" and "ice cold!")

Hey, gotta make my mark in all the historical threads somehow. I figured that was the only way I could contribute. I mean, Im an 18 y/o virgin. Im Irish, so that rules out bragging about the size of my pecker (sorry Superhuman). I believe we see a plethora of pointless posts around here. Doesnt bother me any.

[Tonja_Renee]

Tonja,

Can't recommend any acoustics but I know my ex said that the only guitars that were comfortable for her to play were Explorers... I guess the upper cutaway is deep enough that it's unobtrusive in the boobage dept.

It's kind of funny reading this thread, with all its old "my fiance" posts I left... since we broke up... sigh. Oh well, it's better this way...

Now I'm seeing someone else... it's cool. We went out to Chinese last night and she ordered in Chinese; we got way big portions and it was better than it usually is!!! Let's hear it for interracial dating.

Which leads me to something else... OK, this is one of the more interesting things that has popped up in our relationship. I'm a large Scandanavian guy, you know, I'm like 6'1 and built. I have enormous feet and big hands and all that... and I'm built to serve a suitably large Scandanavian woman (or women, as it may be), and I guess I was built for particularly large Scandanavian women... So now I'm dating a little asian girl, who's body is meant to accomodate little Asian penii. This creates some trouble when we're trying to get started... takes a few minutes... I mean it feels awesome once you get going, and for this I'm thankful :D I felt kind of bad for her for the first few weeks.

She likes it a bit rough, which I'm not a fan of personally but I take the attitude that I'm there to please... I just give her both the gentleness and the roguhness, you know, keep her happy. I'm sorry but most guys out there seem to either be way into the rough part, or just aren't in tune to what a girl wants in the first place, so in my experience just giving it to them good makes happy.

Also... remember: nice guys finish last... I can't emphasize this enough guys... learn to hold it in. Internalize the ecstacy. Trust me... it works.

Some of the guys may not like this thread, but they keep coming back and read it.......

I think they are too young to appreciate that advice PonyOne... From what I remember of teenage sex - the guy I was with was lucky to get 10 strokes in... I think the control happens with age...

I think guys should attempt to get the girl taken care of with the foreplay... there are alot of women out there that cannot acheive an orgasm by straight forward intercourse....That's why some women like it rough - because of the vibrations of the pounding - stimulates the clitoris...

Some of the time the woman just wants it overwith and fakes the orgasm to get him to finish already - a woman knows if she's not going to have one...I've done that more than once :o

[6strngs_2hmbkrs]

woohoo! upon reading the entire thread.. I realize that I HAVE posted in this thread! amazing! it was just back before I set my options to subscribe me to threads I post in, so I never recieved an e-mail reminding me of new posts.

anyways, since my last post. I am now 16, and still a virgen. so still no sex stories from me.. sorry guys. might change this weekend though.. my mother kindly informed me yesterday that she and my father and two of my siblings will be going to texas for about a week and a half for a conference my dad has to go to for work. so it's just me and my sister here now.. so when I mentioned this to my friends today, the first word that left their mouths was "party" followed by the listing of everyone that should be invited, turned out to be a ratio of 5:1 girls to guys. I like those odds :D if I actually decide to throw the party that is.. I'm still deciding

[jiujitsu_jesus]

Okay everybody, once again I'm going to embarrass myself with one of my trademark naive questions. I'm seventeen, and in my limited experience of sex, I found that it wasn't all it's cracked up to be. A few moments of physical ecstasy - so what? I didn't think it was worth all the social highwire-walking and emotional purgatory I had to go through to experience that. Call me what you will (probably a pathetic idealist :rolleyes: ), but I always thought sex was about intimacy. Girls my age, it seems, don't want that - all they want is a quickie in the bushes after the party. If that's all that sex is about, I'm not interested. Can somebody tell me whether this will change when I get older?

And I'm really sorry if I sound like I'm trying to play the noble disillusioned moralist here, but I'm honestly not trying to. :o :o

[jeffhx]

Some of the guys may not like this thread, but they keep coming back and read it.......

I think they are too young to appreciate that advice PonyOne... From what I remember of teenage sex - the guy I was with was lucky to get 10 strokes in... I think the control happens with age...

I think guys should attempt to get the girl taken care of with the foreplay... there are alot of women out there that cannot acheive an orgasm by straight forward intercourse....That's why some women like it rough - because of the vibrations of the pounding - stimulates the clitoris...

Some of the time the woman just wants it overwith and fakes the orgasm to get him to finish already - a woman knows if she's not going to have one...I've done that more than once :o


pounding... interesting...hmmmmmm...... so its all abt the foreplay and hard pounding... i will definitely keep that in mind... rough is good... i like it... but it IS tiring...lol... for me at least... maybe its because im naturally lazy... oh well...

[stackny]

woohoo! upon reading the entire thread.. I realize that I HAVE posted in this thread! amazing! it was just back before I set my options to subscribe me to threads I post in, so I never recieved an e-mail reminding me of new posts.

anyways, since my last post. I am now 16, and still a virgen. so still no sex stories from me.. sorry guys. might change this weekend though.. my mother kindly informed me yesterday that she and my father and two of my siblings will be going to texas for about a week and a half for a conference my dad has to go to for work. so it's just me and my sister here now.. so when I mentioned this to my friends today, the first word that left their mouths was "party" followed by the listing of everyone that should be invited, turned out to be a ratio of 5:1 girls to guys. I like those odds :D if I actually decide to throw the party that is.. I'm still deciding

Sounds like the begining of a terrible sitcom. 6strngs' buddies find out he has the houst to himself, they decide to throw a small party with some of their close friends, party gets out of hand and house gets destroyed, and when his parents return and punish him his lady friend calls a few minutes later to tell him that shes knocked up. To be continued.... :D

[6strngs_2hmbkrs]

Sounds like the begining of a terrible sitcom. 6strngs' buddies find out he has the houst to himself, they decide to throw a small party with some of their close friends, party gets out of hand and house gets destroyed, and when his parents return and punish him his lady friend calls a few minutes later to tell him that shes knocked up. To be continued.... :D
OR... 6strngs throw a party, though not a very large one, a few friends gather, possibly smoke some weed, the night ends in 6strngs gettin laid, and because of the birth control methods he took, there will be no baby. the parents come home and don't suspect a thing, as the smell of the weed has passed by now, and any mess has since been cleaned. 6strngs carrys on with his life, thus having thrown not his first, but his second party. God frowns upon 6strngs from heaven, and 6strngs gives him the finger.. everyone lives happily ever after

[Akira]

I am now 16, and still a virgen. so still no sex stories from me.. sorry guys. might change this weekend though.. my mother kindly informed me yesterday that she and my father and two of my siblings will be going to texas for about a week and a half for a conference my dad has to go to for work. so it's just me and my sister here now..

It's a good job I read the whole of your post and not just that part.

[Tonja_Renee]

It's a good job I read the whole of your post and not just that part.


Ok that is just sick.....lol

[Akira]

Ok that is just sick.....lol

Try telling 6strngs that.

[aschleman]

OR... 6strngs throw a party, though not a very large one, a few friends gather, possibly smoke some weed, the night ends in 6strngs gettin laid, and because of the birth control methods he took, there will be no baby. the parents come home and don't suspect a thing, as the smell of the weed has passed by now, and any mess has since been cleaned. 6strngs carrys on with his life, thus having thrown not his first, but his second party. God frowns upon 6strngs from heaven, and 6strngs gives him the finger.. everyone lives happily ever after

Or.... I find out where you live and throw a 5 kegger and invite all my college/frat/athlete/musician friends......... then have a girl that I know pretty well (who happens to be president of Chi Omega Sorority at Purdue) have her little freshmen pledges clean it up as a Rush drill......... hahaha. I've done it before... Sounds like a plan to me... might even help you out with gettin laid! Older girls are always better...

[6strngs_2hmbkrs]

Or.... I find out where you live and throw a 5 kegger and invite all my college/frat/athlete/musician friends......... then have a girl that I know pretty well (who happens to be president of Chi Omega Sorority at Purdue) have her little freshmen pledges clean it up as a Rush drill......... hahaha. I've done it before... Sounds like a plan to me... might even help you out with gettin laid! Older girls are always better...
I agree college chicks are so much better. I live in california, feel free to come out here and throw me one hell of a party!! it'll probably be saturday night, so if you catch a plane on friday night, you should be good.


also... *vomits* no, I'm not going to bang my sister...

[Akira]

also... *vomits* no, I'm not going to bang my sister...

Try telling Tonja that.

[6strngs_2hmbkrs]

Try telling Tonja that.
ok, hey tonja, I'm not going to bang my sister

happy?

[Akira]

ok, hey tonja, I'm not going to bang my sister

happy?

That was satisfactory.

B -

[6strngs_2hmbkrs]

That was satisfactory.

B -
*gives lmao job to akira for free*

does that help my grade any?

[Tonja_Renee]

ok, hey tonja, I'm not going to bang my sister

happy?


Ok - I think I believe you.... :p

[Akira]

*gives lmao job to akira for free*

does that help my grade any?

...

That was satisfactory.

B -

[aschleman]

I agree college chicks are so much better. I live in california, feel free to come out here and throw me one hell of a party!! it'll probably be saturday night, so if you catch a plane on friday night, you should be good.


also... *vomits* no, I'm not going to bang my sister...

hm... Don't know if I can afford airfare for the 100 people that I would invite... haha!! I would if I could though. Or even if it were within a 2-3 hour drive!!

[Akira]

One day I will host a GT party, all expenses paid.

[aschleman]

One day I will host a GT party, all expenses paid.

I'm going to hold you to that...

[Akira]

I'm going to hold you to that...

Please, do.

[PonyOne]

I point you all of you whom are not easily offended to the lyrics to Come On Over To Mah Crib (http://www.geocities.com/meatking2000/crib.html) by the Meatmen... let's make nate's apartment into that... :cool: :D