Is It Good?

[im a newb]

this is my first song so dont be too hard on me but it was origanilly supposed to be rock but after i wrote it it didnt sound like rock to me
ANGER
My anger builds up fast
It happened more in the past
It makes me want to break stuff
Not hit my pillow with a fluff
I want you to die
Like when i eat pie
I want you to shutup
So why dont you shutup
I want to beat you down
I want to give you a pound
I want to hurt you bad
It cant be on a pad
I hate you so much
I gonna give you a punch
Im gonna kick you too
I want to beat you down
I want to give you a pound
I want to hurt you bad
It cant be on a pad

So tell me if its good. if it sounds like rock and tell me if you have any suggestions

[Azrael]

very much anger in it *L*

[shavit7]

it sound to me like punk rock (blink182 or something).

[im a newb]

good i like blink 182 so thats good
but is it good?

[Azrael]

please do not put pictures of THAT size in your signature - if someone has a slow connection it will take like forever to load. keep it small

[im a newb]

that was off the subject

[Just_Me]

You've got the outline there but the lyrics are too simple and dont have enough depth in them, try to get the listener to "feel" part of the song, it's hard to explain but the more you try the better you will get at it, write loads of different lyrics when just starting out and ask different people which parts they like then incorporate all the best parts into the final draft, also keep to a single theme throughout the song.

But not bad at all for your first effort.

Good Luck, and keep trying :)

[Edited by Just_Me on 11-25-2002 at 01:23 PM]

[Kirk_Aimar]

Hmm..well the tittle is Anger
The lyrics showed it..anger..gd try for a start.

[Polera]

just me is right. u wanna make the listener feel the song not, just read the lyrics. Writing songs is much like writing peotry. Everything has be written before and its just spin off of before. If everyting is essentially the same then why is that there are some songs or peotry that is popular? Its becuase thought the material is the same or about the same thing, its the feeling that the reader gets about the situation that makes it memorable. U got a good start but just kinda make the listner picuture it more. I mean i do a lot of those things when im not mad! Describe some of your feelings, so that your actions are justified maybe or just maybe its fine....you reach those who u wanna reach and if thats the case its perfect! it up to u really!

[u10ajf]

You can't tell if a song's good from the print. I borrowed Pink Floyd's division bell from the library years ago and remember leafing through the words on the way home. None of that prepared me for the fact that the album was superb, an absolute blinder!

[Digit]

heh... you should hear my parents recite lyrics off albums sometimes. It's painful to listen to it but it's funny as hell when somebody just talks the lyrics in a normal voice.

[Just_Me]

Originally posted by Polera
just me is right.

Why thanking you :P

[im a newb]

heresanother song me and my friend wrote last night it is called Pain In The @$$ because that is gonna be our band name

Pain In The @$$

Im such a pain in the @$$
Thats what they call me
Im such a pain in the @$$
And so are you!!!
My mom told me to clean my room
Then I said no
She said to sweep it with a broom
I didnt, she grounded me
Im such a pain in the @$$
Thats what they call me
Im such a pain in the @$$
And so are you!!!
I said im going to my friends
She said no, your grounded again
Why am I grounded again?
your talking back to me
Im such a pain in the @$$
Thats what they call me
Im such a pain in the @$$
And so are you!!!
Can I get that new c.d.?
Do you have the money?
Will you buy it for me?
NO
Maybe its for free
Im such a pain in the @$$
Thats what they call me
Im such a pain in the @$$
And so are you!!!

[im a newb]

heres another

[im a newb]

heres another*********************************

[magicninja]

The skies a bit older now
a little bit greyer now
Faded
Can you save her from fading away
Can you save her from fading away

My hearts a bit harder now
a little less loving now
faded
the world has done this to me
can you save me from fading away
can you save me from fading away

(solo)

The worlds a bit colder now
a little less loving now
faded
cant you just leave her alone
save her from fading away
save us from fading away

Not bad huh?

PROPERTY OF DRAGONSLAYER RECORDS
465 S 2nd St.
Raton NM 87740
(505) 445-5647
http://www.dragonslayerrecords.com

Sorry gus I wouldn't even attempt to post it if it wasn't copyrighted

[Axl_Rose]

Newb- you wouldnt happen to be 11 or 12 years old? Am getting that vibe.
Imply things rather than say them, it means the listener has to think about what your saying. Also aviod things like "i want you to die", its a bit naff.

Later Axl, - doing my bit to stamp out young angry man syndrome

[icecool]

Yeah you need to get a lot more feeling in there. just stating something isnt good.

[Seiko_Hejiro]

Dude,

First you need to do this,

Consider what style of music your band is going to be playing. Number two look at other bands in that style or genre. Look at the lyrical stylings of them. Decide whether or not you wish to write lyrics at or around their level in a similar style or if you wish to diviate from it and do something new.

My advice is to get a theme nailed down for a song and then write lyrics that are symbolic and meaningful to you and either make them simple or complex to your writing ability or liking. Also i would suggest looking up meter and rhyme poetry styles so that you can get more creative.

Also another tip never repeat the same word at the end of two lines, personally i think that makes lyrics really lame like the writer couldn't think of anything else to say.

[robbo97]

four important rules:

make certain u have music to those words first

don't write the first thing that comes into your head

don't write something just because it is the right length

don't forget a bridge