wut do u think about this?

[armGETaTITon]

i read this somewhere in LJ and it creeps me out

"The sirens killed the silence
as the city sleeps in smoke

The scene fed my contention
as the streets were decorated with corpses
and painted with blood

I slice through his insides
and All was decaying under his
posh tux and tie

My Desire created a hell out of this earth
Now my thoughts are creating one of them out of me
and I know this Last bullet will end what I'll soon regret"

i think its kinda satanic in a way.. wutcha think

[Lordathestrings]

Incoherent and morbid. Not even good enough to be considered macabre. :p

[earthman buck]

Incoherent and morbid. Not even good enough to be considered macabre. :p
First your post in the Hendrix vs. Van Halen thread, and now this! I'm in full agreement with you 2 for 2 today!

Now if only I didn't need to spread it around.....

[DAMAGED ONE]

Get out of my head! Ha ha :D

[jeffhx]

hmmmmm foooooood......

[hunter60]

i read this somewhere in LJ and it creeps me out

"The sirens killed the silence
as the city sleeps in smoke

The scene fed my contention
as the streets were decorated with corpses
and painted with blood

I slice through his insides
and All was decaying under his
posh tux and tie

My Desire created a hell out of this earth
Now my thoughts are creating one of them out of me
and I know this Last bullet will end what I'll soon regret"

i think its kinda satanic in a way.. wutcha think


Not sure but I think it's from Hallmarks 'Hell on earth' line of Birthday cards. Not very successful but always interesting to recieve. :)

[DAMAGED ONE]

Not sure but I think it's from Hallmarks 'Hell on earth' line of Birthday cards. Not very successful but always interesting to recieve. :)LOOOOOVVVVE IT!

[iiholly]

I don't see how its Satanic.

[Jolly McJollyson]

Satanic? I dunno about that.

Far from Satanic, in fact, I think the poem has a large Biblical element in the last line, which apparently propogates the belief in suicide as the unforgivable sin (my interpretation: what he'll end is his life, which he'll soon regret as he meets his end in eternal punishment).

Regardless, I think the poem is pretty skeletal and fragmented. I wish it were longer, as it is it feels incomplete. A longer poem would have, for me, been able to convey its images and themes much more powerfully. I also don't really like how incredibly vague it is in its leap from the outer hell created by this man or force to the inner hell of his or its soul.

The tux and tie, I assume, is the narrator's destroying the "elegant" world of the upper class or the intellectual elite, who, though they wear a pleasant, showy outer garb, rot on the inside.

There's a lot of depth to this poem, and I recognize that and feel I could, on further inspection, get a lot from it. The poem itself, however, I find mediocre.

[Akira]

Satanic? I dunno about that.

Far from Satanic, in fact, I think the poem has a large Biblical element in the last line, which apparently propogates the belief in suicide as the unforgivable sin (my interpretation: what he'll end is his life, which he'll soon regret as he meets his end in eternal punishment).

Regardless, I think the poem is pretty skeletal and fragmented. I wish it were longer, as it is it feels incomplete. A longer poem would have, for me, been able to convey its images and themes much more powerfully. I also don't really like how incredibly vague it is in its leap from the outer hell created by this man or force to the inner hell of his or its soul.

The tux and tie, I assume, is the narrator's destroying the "elegant" world of the upper class or the intellectual elite, who, though they wear a pleasant, showy outer garb, rot on the inside.

There's a lot of depth to this poem, and I recognize that and feel I could, on further inspection, get a lot from it. The poem itself, however, I find mediocre.

You rock my world.

[Jolly McJollyson]

You rock my world.
Hooray! To what do I owe the honor, a critique?

[Akira]

Hooray! To what do I owe the honor, a critique?

For just being you. X