Childish problem

[jiujitsu_jesus]

I have resolved to ask a particular girl to the school formal, and I've got to do it tomorrow. Trouble is, being a complete social retard, :o I've never done this sort of thing before, so I don't know how to act if she accepts, or if she refuses (which is infinitely more likely). Anybody have any advice for this little loser? :o

[earthman buck]

Lucky for you I am a modern-day Casanova.

Here's my educated guess on what to say:

She accepts - "Cool. Pick you up around [time]?" (or if you don't have a ride, "Cool. Hope you like to walk!" :))

She rejects - "Oh, okay. I kind of thought you smelled funny anyway."


Seriously though, just be yourself. But not the self-hating you that shows up around here every now and again. Be the funny, ever-so-charming you.

[elklandercc]

Chances are, if she declines, she will give you a serious or bs excuss. So you just do the , "Oh, ok. I undertand, that cool." and then play it cool afterwards. If she accepts, get her number and work out the driving/meeting arrangements.

[jiujitsu_jesus]

Thanks, guys.

[Krunek]

Yeah, and watch with the approach. In these type of situations, I usually go for the you know, like shy approach. Walk up to her, and then slowly ask her... put your both hands on your back, swing a little in the uper part of the body (a little!!), look on the floor a few times... You know. Girls think it is kind of cute. And then when she accepts, just follow what guys above saed. And accept she will, of course. Why, you are this cool guitarist... :cool: ;)
Why shouldnt she accept? Let us know how it worked out... So i can have a beer on your behalf. For celebrating. ;)

[CW14]

Yeah, and watch with the approach. In these type of situations, I usually go for the you know, like shy approach. Walk up to her, and then slowly ask her... put your both hands on your back, swing a little in the uper part of the body (a little!!), look on the floor a few times... You know.
Wouldn't recommend that.

Don't act, they can always see through it.

[Krunek]

Wouldn't recommend that.

Don't act, they can always see through it.

Not if you are good... ;) At least not right away, that is. :)

[ren]

Wouldn't recommend that.

Don't act, they can always see through it.

I'd agree with that.... plus, it's an effort to keep up an act. If you already know her, she'd know you were acting anyways...

Just go ask her, and if she turns you down, act like you don't care and go ask her friends.... If she accepts, it doesn't matter how you react - you've already won!

That's how it worked when I was at school.... if you were going to act, at least be over-confident...

Good Luck dude...

[jeffhx]

be casual ben...and be positive..that confidence boost is always good...and u will never know how she may react...better to give it a shot then to regret not knowing at all...just say u wanna hang out.. :)

besides...who wud turn down a guitarist? :D ...we are just too groovy... :cool:

[Krunek]

besides...who wud turn down a guitarist?
...we are just too groovy... :cool:

My sentiments exactly... ;)
We should start a new thread... Are guitarists just cool or far beyond that?
hehehehe... :)

I would wish you luck with this girl, but being a guitarist, you will not need it.
She is already yours, just that she doesn"t know it yet... Go jiujitsu!!

[Andrew Sa]

Oh Ben...when is this formal?with things like this, its always best to get to her WAY in advance...the way you said you have to do it tomorrow makes me think that it is soon...dont leave it late again...or if you haven'tleft it late...um,fair play.

If she turns you down, dont let it get weird!
Things like this only ever get weird if you let them get weird...the key is to not let it get weird if she turns you down...I'm not saying you shouldn't be disappointed...just dont cry in front of her or anything...its not even a problem if you look a bit disappointed...but dont let it change things after that...the next time you see her, dont be shy or embarrased...

anyway, on to the true response of when she says "Yes"
Do what you want after she says "yes"...like was said before, you've already won...play it cool tho, dont do a victory dance or anything.
tis probably best to make meeting arrangements, and possibly just chat for a bit.

do let us know how it goes dude...Good luck brother

[ren]

...dont do a victory dance or anything

I reckon you'd get loads of 'Man Points' for doing a victory dance - do the running man or something.... that would be genius :D

Maybe save the dance for if she says "no".... it'd be so damn funny she might just change her mind!

[acapella]

I think the only reason youasked us what to do is so you could put it off. Don't be so nervous about it. Just ask her to be your date. I would put it that way, too. "I need a date for *blahblah*, do you want to go with me?" Don't make it seem like it's a big deal, you know?

[Tonja_Renee]

Just be yourself, and ask her. You definately don't want to be putting on any sort of act.... because if you like her, you don't want to have to keep pretending to be someone you are not when you are around her.

Unfortunately, there is no other way around it... nothing is going to make it easier. Just suck it up and ask her.

[ericthecableguy]

OR...you if nerves are a real problem you could just get drunk enough to be past that social stage and ask her then.

[pizzicatopicker]

Confidence. I feel thats about 80 percent of it. The other 20 percent is looks and what not. Just remember it'll be really awkward and what not, but nothing will kill your chances more rapidly if you begin to mumble, look at your feet, so on. LOOK HER IN THE EYES when you talk. Hope that helps, it comes from first hand experience..... :rolleyes:

[jiujitsu_jesus]

Well, she said she already had a partner. Ah well. Such is life. She was really nice about it, though.

[ren]

Well, she said she already had a partner. Ah well. Such is life. She was really nice about it, though.

Well, that's probably the second best result you could have hoped for.... and power to you for doing it buddy... :cool:

[Krunek]

Well, she said she already had a partner. Ah well. Such is life. She was really nice about it, though.

Such is life... But now you have broken the ice, right, friend? She is not the only girl round there, is she? Go for it... It si not so bad even if you do get turned down... Go ask another one you like. ;)

[aschleman]

For future reference on the subject... The biggest thing that I've found about the approach is being able to project confidence. It says a lot about you as a person... Stand up straight... make eye contact... speak loudly and clearly. Those are the biggest things to concentrate on. In a situation like that just be yourself and project a confident you... Don't get hung up on whether you get rejected or not... The more and more you put yourself out there the easier it becomes.

Sorry it didn't work out for ya. But don't let it bother you.

"One shouldn't waste time looking back at things they can't control, but should look ahead to the things they can."

[Bar Chord Nick]

Dude you accomplished to good things here.

1) You gained some confidence for the future

2) You showed her you're interested. If her present interests should fall apart you may find her paying extra attention to you.

Not a bad thing at all. ;)

[PonyOne]

-Do not play shy. Playing in general is a bad idea; I'm not for posturing to get a date, unless you plan on completely changing who you are and how you act for some time to come! I am actually a very shy person by default; I always have been... and though girls often find shy guys "cute" the sad truth is that many of them are more apt to let themselves get picked up by a suave, confident guy than a guy who looks like he's going to cry or pee himself before he pops the question.

-Do not play the suave, confident lothario. Even if a girl may be more apt to go for a guy who's confident, acting like Don Magic Juan seldom works.

-When you ask, be straightforward. I wouldn't bother making idle conversation beforehand, because it pushes things back and builds the suspense up in both of you. If you spend five minutes talking about puppies, guitars, politics, etc it'll give her just as much time to think things over as you. DO NOT ask in front of all her or your friends; that puts her on the spot. Just come up to her at some point, between class or after school or whenever, at some fairly neutral point, and just say "Hey, _____, I was wondering if you'd like to go to the dance (or whatever you kids are calling it) with me." Just as simple as that... any extra filler just makes it more cluttered.

-If she says yes, CONGRATS! and come back if you need any more advice. In she says no, BUMMER, just pretend it didn't happen and move on. Find another girl and ask her instead.

[ericthecableguy]

Congrats on asking her bud. :)

[jiujitsu_jesus]

Cheers, everybody. :)