It's all getting too serious !!!

[howie50]

Anybody know any good music based jokes such as:-

Q How many roadies does it take to change a light bulb ?

A Two...Two....Two....Three....Four..........

or

Q How do you stop a guitarist from playing ?

A Put some music in front of him ?

Let's get a bit lighter round here.

[space ace]

Why is the drummer always late for gigs.

because he always off screwing the guitarist's wife.

[Fly Boy]

I heard this off a great pianist friend of mine, it's not true or funny!!

how do you vonfuse a guitarist?

give him sheet music

ha ha

[PonyOne]

Q. How many guitarists does it take to write a song?

A. Millions. One to make the song, and the rest to say they could have done it better.

[PeptoB]

This is an old one but what the heck,
Q:How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four. One to change the light bulb and three to discuss how Clapton would've done it.

[Fenderblues]

Brilliant, keep em coming

[Raskolnikov]

What's the difference between a dead cat in the road and a dead drummer in the road?
The skid marks come before the cat.

What's the difference between a drummer and a savings bond?
The savings bond will one day mature and earn money.

You're lost in the wood, and eventually come across an in tune bassist, an out of tune bassist, and santa clause, who do you ask for directions?
The out of tune bassist- the other two are hallucinations.

[Willdridge]

Ahem...

Did you hear about the bass player who locked his keys in the car?
Took him four hours to get the drummer out.

How do you know it's a drummer at you door?
He doesn't know hen to come in and the knocking gets faster and faster.

Last one:-

What's the difference between a chiropidist (spelling) and Ginger Baker?
A chiropidist bucks up your feet.

There's a funny one about Yngwie, but it's a bit long winded so I'll save it for later.

[Alan Moorhouse]

What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?

With a drum machine you only have to punch the information in once.

[billcrawford]

What do you call a drummer with a claimed IQ of over 10?

Yeah, you guessed it - a liar!

[MajinMojo]

I have never heaerd any of these before, the drummer ones are hilarious.

[space ace]

Q. What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson.

A. Neil Armstrong was the first man to land on the moon and Michael Jackson ****s little kids up the ass.

[Raskolnikov]

that's a little grey zone I think... you might want to delete that post. I'm of course not a moderator, but I think I know what they'll feel about it.

[Christoph]

Originally posted by space ace
Q. What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson.

A. Neil Armstrong was the first man to land on the moon and Michael Jackson ****s little kids up the ass.

Yeah I'd call that a difference. However, I think you failed to read Howie's original post - music related jokes.

[Joseph]

As a musician, I take just everything very seriously, when it comes to my music, and how others re-act to my overall approach. But still, whats most important is how you feel pertaining to your efforts, and a few harmless jokes never hurt anyone. I think we all need to sit back and laugh every once in a while, especially with the hectic schedule that every hawrd working musicians has to endure.

Q. What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?
A.He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it.

Q.What does a guitar and a hooker have in common?
A.They both have a G-string


-Joseph

[Lordathestrings]

Q: What do good women and good guitars have in common?
A: To get the sounds you wanna hear, you gotta stroke 'em just so. :D

[Raskolnikov]

How many jazz pianists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Screw the changes, we'll fake 'em.

What's the range on an Ibanez guitar?
The fourth row if you've got a good arm.

[Alan Moorhouse]

What do you call a guy who hangs round with musicians?

A drummer.

I wonder if drummers have a website where they do guitar-player jokes?

[space ace]

[]

Yeah I'd call that a difference. However, I think you failed to read Howie's original post - music related jokes. [/B][/QUOTE]


Hate to ring on your parade but Michael Jackson is a singer there smarts.



wooooooo!!!!!!!!!


And as a truly talented musicians you should all laugh at him and his fans as much as you can.

[Joseph]

Originally posted by Alan Moorhouse
What do you call a guy who hangs round with musicians?

A drummer.



Hey, If could just find a solid drummer down here in South Florida I swear I would never make these jokes again...

-Joseph

[Christoph]

Originally posted by space ace
Hate to ring on your parade but Michael Jackson is a singer there smarts.


And what does his messing around with little boys have to do with music, genius?

[Lordathestrings]

Q: What did the lead guitarist say on his wedding night?
A: "Oh me, oh me, oh me!"

Q: How many lead guitarists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to ignore the problem, another to call a roadie, and a third to complain that the bulb gets too much attention.

Q: What do you call a beautiful woman on a lead guitarist's arm?
A: A tattoo.

Q: What do you call a lead guitar player that only knows two chords?
A: A music critic.

Q: What do you call a guitarist in a three-piece suit?
A: The Defendant.

Q: Why aren't there any guitarists in medical school?
A: You have to wash.

Q: When is a guitar better than a lover?
A: The other twenty-three and a half-hours in the day.

:D

[Christoph]

Lol. Like the one about the tatoo.

[Willdridge]

Originally posted by Lordathestrings
Q: What did the lead guitarist say on his wedding night?
A: "Oh me, oh me, oh me!"

Q: How many lead guitarists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to ignore the problem, another to call a roadie, and a third to complain that the bulb gets too much attention...etc, etc, etc.
:D


Hehehehe. Funny.

Why is a guitar better than women?

1. Your guitar doesn't care how many other guitars you've played with today

2. You can play your guitar anytime of the month.

3. You can finger your guitar in puplic and get applause, not arrested.

4. You can share your guitar with your friends.

5. Your parents don't keep in touch with the guitars you got rid of.

Why are guitars better then men? (Never one to be accused of being sexist)

1. The guitar can keep playing as long as you can.

2. Guitars don't leave the toilet seat up.

3. You'll never find a guitar crouched double of the toilet after you've been out drinking together.

There should be more, but I've forgotten then. Ah well.

[Lordathestrings]

Q: What do you call a guitar player without a girlfriend?
A: Homeless.

Q: How do you know when the stage is level?
A: The guitarist drools out of both sides of his mouth.

Q: What's the difference between folk and classical guitar?
A: About $50 an hour in studio billing.

Q: How do you make a guitarist's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in his ear.

Q: Why are so many guitarist jokes one-liners?
A: So the rest of the band can understand them.

Q: Did you hear about the guitarist who was hit by a train?
A: Yeah. He never heard it coming.

Q: What does a lead guitarist fear most?
A: That if they keep doing that long enough, they'll go blind.

[chris mood]

nice one space ace, I never laughed sooo hard in my life, but thats just my sic sense of humor.

[educatedfilm]

The Educatedfilm prestigous award for not so prestigous jokes goes to (drum roll)....Lordathestrings for:
"Q: What do you call a guitarist in a three-piece suit?
A: The Defendant."

Great topic by the way...

[blackrose]

last i was there they had a few jokes on just about all types of musicians.