Women don't know how easy they've got it

[Cryptic Excretions]

Some times I'm tempted to sit down every time I go to the bathroom just so I'll stop missing the bowl.

[Andrew Sa]

dont you guys just love urinals with ice in them...oh what fun!

[Lordathestrings]

Some times I'm tempted to sit down every time I go to the bathroom just so I'll stop missing the bowl.It also leaves your options open. I just hate realising that I should'a started out sitting down! :o

[Andrew Sa]

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahaI could go on for hours...praise the lord!

[Renisenb]

Some times I'm tempted to sit down every time I go to the bathroom just so I'll stop missing the bowl.

Then, by all means, sit down every time. I imagine that nobody would barge in and stop you.

[Akira]

I tried it sitting down once, it was a very strange experience.

[magicninja]

I only do it if I'm totally smashed.

I'm happy to report I've at least never passed out in that position.

[Akira]

I only do it if I'm totally smashed.

I'm happy to report I've at least never passed out in that position.

Pfft, be a man and do it standing up!!

[chucklivesoninmyheart]

Just whiz in the shower...even funnier if you whiz on your girlfriend in the shower mwahahaa!

[Cryptic Excretions]

Haha, there were too many good responses to only quote one. I'll just say I approve of Lord, Chuck, Akira, and Renisenb's comments.

[kingdavid]

...even funnier if you whiz on your girlfriend in the shower mwahahaa!
eeew!!!! :eek:

[SPL]

Hell, even if you do aim perfectly, you still get splattering. Since I'm the one who has to clean my bathroom, I usually think twice about "peeing like a man." That's right, I said it.

[Cryptic Excretions]

Hell, even if you do aim perfectly, you still get splattering. Since I'm the one who has to clean my bathroom, I usually think twice about "peeing like a man." That's right, I said it.
Doesn't it suck when your finger just sort of slips in the way while you're going? Not only does it splatter everywhere, but it gets all over you too. Now that sucks.

[Lordathestrings]

Sitting down leaves your hands free for writing grafitti! :D

[Cryptic Excretions]

Sitting down leaves your hands free for writing grafitti! :D
Considering where I usually am when going to the bathroom, I'm usually at home or at work and somehow I don't think grafitti would go well in either place.

[Lordathestrings]

Sitting down lets yuo read grafitti without spoiling your aim.

[elklandercc]

The only time I sit down to pee is late at night when I wake up, don't wanna turn on any lights, so I sit to keep from a saturated bathroom.

[Cryptic Excretions]

The only time I sit down to pee is late at night when I wake up, don't wanna turn on any lights, so I sit to keep from a saturated bathroom.
I just practice my aim when I can't see. Shot in the dark.

[alucard0941]

dude, every morning my tank is loaded and I cant stop it from exploding into the bowl only.

[Jolly McJollyson]

The only time I sit down to pee is late at night when I wake up, don't wanna turn on any lights, so I sit to keep from a saturated bathroom.
And the WHITE, porcelain toilet doesn't stand out in the dark?

[Cryptic Excretions]

And the WHITE, porcelain toilet doesn't stand out in the dark?
Not all bathrooms have windows for outside light.

[Renisenb]

Sitting down leaves your hands free for writing grafitti! :D
This is absolutely true. I was once in a public restroom which had inscribed on the walls "soccermoms.com/forums." or something along those lines.

I was frightened.

[Jolly McJollyson]

This is absolutely true. I was once in a public restroom which had inscribed on the walls "soccermoms.com/forums." or something along those lines.

I was frightened.
Really? I always scribble "guitartricks.com/forum" Guitarists poop, too.

[iiholly]

I only do it if I'm totally smashed.

I'm happy to report I've at least never passed out in that position.


I passed out on the toilet on monday night (its great to have a tuesday off so you get a "mini weekend".

But yeah... I have no comment on the girls have it worse than guys or guys have it worse than girls. I'd rather be a male grasshopper.

[Akira]

I hate it when you go for a wee after having a "sex wee"; you aim it one way and it goes the other, end up bouncing it off objects just to get it towards the toilet.

[elklandercc]

And the WHITE, porcelain toilet doesn't stand out in the dark?
Like Cryptic said, not really. Besides, I really don't open my eyes at all either.

[Fenderalltheway]

ive started standing, i go and wash my hands, and then i realize i gata go in the stall lol

[Lordathestrings]

I hate it when you go for a wee after having a "sex wee"; you aim it one way and it goes the other, end up bouncing it off objects just to get it towards the toilet.

Eeeeewwwww! :eek:

Observations from my brief stint working as a janitor:

The graffiti is always worse in womens washrooms. See previous comment about having both hands free. Men's washrooms are disgusting messes from the piss that the average man-child sprays around in his misguided assumption that standing up is 'manly'. Grow up! Boys like to play 'firehose', men understand the consequenses of such folly.

[Cryptic Excretions]

Guitarists poop, too.
They do...? What the hell's wrong with me???

[6strngs_2hmbkrs]

I still like to play fire hose...

jk. but man, this thread is hilarious! I can relate to every single thing said!

I hate it when you go into the bathroom, and there is like a 5 year old kid trying to use the urinal... and he has his pants down at his ankles, standing there bare-assed...

and I avoid sitting at all costs, especially in public bathrooms... in public bathrooms, I kinda make myself hover a couple inches over the seat... which makes a terrible splash... but what can I say, I have a phobia of toilet seats I think.

[Cryptic Excretions]

I still like to play fire hose...

jk. but man, this thread is hilarious! I can relate to every single thing said!

I hate it when you go into the bathroom, and there is like a 5 year old kid trying to use the urinal... and he has his pants down at his ankles, standing there bare-assed...

and I avoid sitting at all costs, especially in public bathrooms... in public bathrooms, I kinda make myself hover a couple inches over the seat... which makes a terrible splash... but what can I say, I have a phobia of toilet seats I think.
Your phobia's in vain. There are more germs on your own face than on a public toilet seat. Think about it. Your face and hands are exposed all day long, not your genitals or your ass. Those have pants and underwear shrouding them. But your hands are picking various objects up, and handling paper and money (both of which are prime sources of germs) then you go and, say, scratch that itch next to your nose, or wise a bit of sweat off your forehead.

Edit note: If you see urine on a seat, don't fret. Urine is a sterile substance. No way in hell you'll ever get any germs or bacteria from it. Hell, you're probably more likely to sterilize yourself and get cleaner by rubbing it all over you. Of course you'll smell like piss, but you'll be clean.

[6strngs_2hmbkrs]

Your phobia's in vain. There are more germs on your own face than on a public toilet seat. Think about it. Your face and hands are exposed all day long, not your genitals or your ass. Those have pants and underwear shrouding them. But your hands are picking various objects up, and handling paper and money (both of which are prime sources of germs) then you go and, say, scratch that itch next to your nose, or wise a bit of sweat off your forehead.

Edit note: If you see urine on a seat, don't fret. Urine is a sterile substance. No way in hell you'll ever get any germs or bacteria from it. Hell, you're probably more likely to sterilize yourself and get cleaner by rubbing it all over you. Of course you'll smell like piss, but you'll be clean.
sure... but I always think that I'm going to get herpes or krabs from the toilet seat... I know it wouldn't actually happen. but it still freaks me out... plus I can't stand it when there is crap on the seat...

[Cryptic Excretions]

sure... but I always think that I'm going to get herpes or krabs from the toilet seat... I know it wouldn't actually happen. but it still freaks me out... plus I can't stand it when there is crap on the seat...
Well unless you've got a tendancy to smear your johnson all over toilet seats I think you're going to be ok. And crap on a toilet seat? Well... somethings are no man's land.

[6strngs_2hmbkrs]

Well unless you've got a tendancy to smear your johnson all over toilet seats I think you're going to be ok. And crap on a toilet seat? Well... somethings are no man's land.
dude, I've driven across country... along the way, sometimes you really just got to go, even if it is at an iffy gas station in the middle of nowhere... you can find all kinds of wierd things (and a machine to buy condems at 25 cents apiece!)

[Cryptic Excretions]

dude, I've driven across country... along the way, sometimes you really just got to go, even if it is at an iffy gas station in the middle of nowhere... you can find all kinds of wierd things (and a machine to buy condems at 25 cents apiece!)
And I've bought a condom from one of those once. Not that it ever saw much (any) action. I just thought it was funny at the time and happened to have a quarter.

[CW14]

Your phobia's in vain. There are more germs on your own face than on a public toilet seat. Think about it. Your face and hands are exposed all day long, not your genitals or your ass. Those have pants and underwear shrouding them. But your hands are picking various objects up, and handling paper and money (both of which are prime sources of germs) then you go and, say, scratch that itch next to your nose, or wise a bit of sweat off your forehead.

Edit note: If you see urine on a seat, don't fret. Urine is a sterile substance. No way in hell you'll ever get any germs or bacteria from it. Hell, you're probably more likely to sterilize yourself and get cleaner by rubbing it all over you. Of course you'll smell like piss, but you'll be clean.
If you saw the toilets at my school, you'd have a phobia of them too.

[6strngs_2hmbkrs]

And I've bought a condom from one of those once. Not that it ever saw much (any) action. I just thought it was funny at the time and happened to have a quarter.
and I spent $6 on a 12-pack of condems... of which I haven't used a single one yet... it's kinda for that "just in case" scenario i guess...

[Andrew Sa]

Then, by all means, sit down every time. I imagine that nobody would barge in and stop you.

Yay! Lacy's back!
what an arb thread...but amusing...

I just hate touching doors in a public bathroom.(as I'm sure I've mentioned before...) I usually open the door, then hold it open with my foot whilst I re-wash my hands...either that, or stand around aimlessly and wait for someone else to come in/out and just sneak through (thats when the door is too far away from the basin...

otherwise I take some toilet paper or tissue and hold them, allowing them to make contact with the handle, then throw em away...

[Akira]

and I spent $6 on a 12-pack of condems... of which I haven't used a single one yet... it's kinda for that "just in case" scenario i guess...

Sophie's on the contraceptive pill, so i'm saved that hassle! Although she does have 50+ condoms in her draw; the nurse she goes to see when getting another pack of pills always gives her a load each time.

I try to avoid public toilets, usually it's better (and cleaner) to go find a bush somewhere.

[Andrew Sa]

I try to avoid public toilets, usually it's better (and cleaner) to go find a bush somewhere.

But you're in the Uk, where it is acceptable to relieve yourself in the streets (I'm not joking, they have open urinals near Picadilly circus). Just walk into any alley in London and you can smell it...I tell you, that city is headed for another plague.

[Akira]

But you're in the Uk, where it is acceptable to relieve yourself in the streets (I'm not joking, they have open urinals near Picadilly circus). Just walk into any alley in London and you can smell it...I tell you, that city is headed for another plague.

Ohh, didn't realise that doing that sort of thing in other countries isn't really acceptable...

...man, i've had it easy!

[elklandercc]

(and a machine to buy condems at 25 cents apiece!)
Hahahahaha, we have one of those in my Vending class.

[rockonn91]

Just walk into any alley in London and you can smell it...I tell you, that city is headed for another plague.


lets hear it for disgusting alleys!

*crickets chirp*

[6strngs_2hmbkrs]

lets hear it for disgusting alleys!

*crickets chirp*
*throat clears in large auditorium*

[rockonn91]

*throat clears in large auditorium*
*baby wails in distance*

[iamthe_eggman]

*baby wails in distance*

OHHHHH YEAAAAAHHHH!!!!!

[Cryptic Excretions]

OHHHHH YEAAAAAHHHH!!!!!
SNAP INTO A SLIM JIM!!!!

[6strngs_2hmbkrs]

OHHHHH YEAAAAAHHHH!!!!!
alright it's the kool-aid man!!!!

[Cryptic Excretions]

alright it's the kool-aid man!!!!
I was thinking Randy Savage.

[Lisa Bates]

Ummmmmm is this a guitar site?

[Cryptic Excretions]

Ummmmmm is this a guitar site?
This is guitar tricks. Welcome aboard

[Jolly McJollyson]

This is guitar tricks. Welcome aboard
Sometimes we get off the topic of guitars...

meh.

[Cryptic Excretions]

Sometimes we get off the topic of guitars...

meh.
Sometimes?

[PRSplaya]

Ummmmmm is this a guitar site?
Believe it or not it is. There's no telling what will be discussed in the "Open Discussion" section though. It's typical for a thread to start out on one subject, and end up going through about 5 different subjects before it dies away. I think it's something in the beverages they serve here :confused:

BTW, what part of the South are you from?

[Cryptic Excretions]

Believe it or not it is. There's no telling what will be discussed in the "Open Discussion" section though. It's typical for a thread to start out on one subject, and end up going through about 5 different subjects before it dies away.
See the "and that's it" thread for a good, recent example of this. Well, read the first page, somewhere in the middle, then the last and compare see the evolution of our threads.

[PonyOne]

little bit late to the party but...

my aim is impeccable.

[elklandercc]

BTW, what part of the South are you from?
The deep south.

[Kevin Taylor]

Women will never know the joys of banking a shot off the back wall into the next stall. Or writing in the snow. Or squeezing it into a fine mist so you get a rainbow on a sunny day.

[elklandercc]

Or squeezing it into a fine mist so you get a rainbow on a sunny day.
Dear God man! It hurts enough to pinch it, but in a mist.... http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/sprachlos/speechless-smiley-040.gif

[bigbuda]

Personaly I prefer to urinate outdoors. While I'm at home I will usually just walk out back and take a leak in the flower bed. It's good for the plants! :rolleyes:

[6strngs_2hmbkrs]

Personaly I prefer to urinate outdoors. While I'm at home I will usually just walk out back and take a leak in the flower bed. It's good for the plants! :rolleyes:
does your wife know this?

[bigbuda]

does your wife know this?

Sure! She never says anything though.