How much wood would a woodchuck chuck.....

[Kirk Hammett is God]

I was just wondering if anyone has any estimates on how much wood would a woodchuck would chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.


It boggles the mind.....

[Christoph]

At least a few cords, I would say.

[Raskolnikov]

Ever since I had my knee pants on my pa would try to make me realize
That if I set my mind down, I could be a big man in the public eyes
Well, with my blue collar on I went out to try and find an easy way
What a cold cold bath it was to realize that you have to pay to play

Oh, to taste the taste was a tease that never would subside
The taste is strong but soured by my learned eyes
If woodchuck could chuck would, he'd get down to his knees and pray
This snappy little boy might see the light this groundhog's day

-Ground Hog's Day, Primus


...seemed to fit

[Kirk Hammett is God]

But what if for some reason, the woodchuck was being forced to chuck as much wood as possible?

[Raskolnikov]

Well, if I were the woodchuck I would unionize and go on strike. Chucking wood is both mentally and physically a highly stressful job, and deserves due compensation.

[Kirk Hammett is God]

What if he was paid or something? Like 15 bucks an hour. Maybe that would encourage him to chuck more wood.

[Raskolnikov]

Money isn't everything though. A 'chuck needs heath benefits, job security, a comfortable work environment, and payed breaks. This is very serious business.

[jake sommers]

yall are nuts

[Kirk Hammett is God]

But we could give the woodchuck a dental plan and maybe a big retirement fund. How 'bout that?

[Raskolnikov]

I dunno.
Ask a woodchuck.

[Kirk Hammett is God]

I think I will.

[agentfuschia]

maybe it depends what kind of wood a certain woodchuck would or should or could chuck. by the way, what does a woodchuck look like? i've never seen one.

[jake sommers]

A woodchuck is the same thing as a groundhog

[Kirk Hammett is God]

Maybe I could get a nice, big woodchuck and maybe beef it up a little more before I make it chuck wood.

Or maybe I could just recruit a bunch of woodchucks, like 100, and then I could increase my production exponentially, and then I wouldn't need just one, big woodchuck.

[James Hetfield Is Jesus]

Why dont you just start a WoodChuck Cult... Yah know, Brainwash everyanimail on earth into thinkg that they are woodchucks, and then you woulud have super woodchuks cause there wuld be lions and tigers and bears......

Oh My

[Kirk Hammett is God]

That has nothing to do with chucking wood! What's wrong with you!? Are you insane or something!?

And that would be kinda hard. There are a lot of animals on the Earth, and it's not like I can send them subliminal messages through their TVs.



Maybe we should just stick with woodchucks.

[James Hetfield Is Jesus]

yeah your right, I dont know what the hell i was thinking

[Incidents Happen]

I would make the woodchucks work real hard and train them to make guitars out of the wood they chuck. Then i could teach them to play guitar, and they'd want to chuck more wood so they get better guitars.

Its the circle of life
(recycling sign)

[Psycho Amram]

you said that the woodchuck would chuck wood soooo... he would chuck... a... wood.
he cetainly won't want to chuck anymore after the first one unless he gets paid per wood...

[Lordathestrings]

But unless they make people-sized guitars we'll be inundated with guitars the size of shrunken ukeleles!

[chris mood]

I would say the average woodchuck could chuck about 2 cords of wood a day...if he could.

[Edited by chris mood on 01-01-2002 at 10:52 AM]

[trebledamage]

But more importantly, would the woodchuck collect woodchuck compensation if the woodchuck got hurt while chucking wood??? I think the woodchuck is a luthier for Gibson and definitely plays a Les Paul when he's not out chucking wood. It's just a gut feeling.

[Edited by trebledamage on 12-31-2001 at 03:15 PM]

[canuck01]

The wood that a woodchuck would chuck, is the wood that a wookchuck chucks.

[canuck01]

What about, how much wood could a canuck chuck? lmao

As for myself, none.


[Edited by canuck01 on 12-31-2001 at 11:15 PM]

[Incidents Happen]

lol you said lamo

[lalimacefolle]

Aren't woodchuks instinct, or forrests? Or BOTH? DON'T YOU GUYS MAKE FUN OF INSTINCT STUFF... Sorry, I guess I'll go now...

[Raskolnikov]

A Kirk and James thread survived deletion due to excessive profanity and insulting posts?

Just when I thought I had seen it all.

[lukather/timmons]

Kirk, your name cracks me up...

[Raskolnikov]

Originally posted by lukather/timmons
Kirk, your name cracks me up...

He and James got bored with this forum and left many months ago when they discovered that "[insert band here] is gay" is not considered a valid criticism by the various moderators here, and is not tolerated.

[Bardsley]

I must say I was surprised to see this thread pop up again after all this time. You know, I kinda miss those two; so much to say.

[Christoph]

I don't think they just left. I think they got kicked.

[Raskolnikov]

Originally posted by Bardsley
I must say I was surprised to see this thread pop up again after all this time. You know, I kinda miss those two; so much to say.

...so easy to abuse...

When the moderators start editing posts against you you know you're in for it.

[jake sommers]

So is it safe for Ol' Jake to return?

[Lordathestrings]

'Always was! :D

[Raskolnikov]

I was wondering where the hell you went to!

Er... Well, I still don't know where you went, but welcome back anyway.

[Incidents Happen]

welcome back...i dont know ya but welcome back

[James8831]

Hey,

Incidents Happen

Re: I would make the woodchucks work real hard and train them to make guitars out of the wood they chuck.

This would mean your new guitars would be chucked about as they're made of the wood the chucks have been chucking and instinct may mean they carry on, leading to the woodchucks having to be named "Jimi" "Pete" etc.

:) :) :)