First Date kiss deal thing

[MadGuitarest]

Ok, i know this isnt a lovehelp forum but hey its open discussion. So this girl that I am gonna go on a date with, she doesn't want to go out to eat......why? I dont know....But she just wants to go to the movies only I guess and I am trying to find a time to kiss her, but when do you think is the best time? Or should I even.....?

[Cryptic Excretions]

Ok, i know this isnt a lovehelp forum but hey its open discussion. So this girl that I am gonna go on a date with, she doesn't want to go out to eat......why? I dont know....But she just wants to go to the movies only I guess and I am trying to find a time to kiss her, but when do you think is the best time? Or should I even.....?
Tell her that her shoe laces are untied and when she's not looking go in for the kill.

[Dr_simon]

Don't force the issue but don't be timid, if it is going well she will let you know the time is right with prolonged eye contact and smiles etc !!

Just relax and be yourself !

[iiholly]

Some girls are uncomfortable eating in front of guys. I'm not one of them, but I've heard my friends say it before.

[Pantallica1]

I've heard girls say that before too, Holly.

You'll know when the time is right to kiss. If the opportunity doesn't present itself, you'll just end up looking like a jackarse if you go in for the kill and she gives you the cheek.

So just be a gentleman, open the door for her, maybe bring a flower, tell her she looks nice, be courteous and respectful and you'll get what you want.

[Cryptic Excretions]

Some girls are uncomfortable eating in front of guys. I'm not one of them, but I've heard my friends say it before.
I know a girl that doesn't eat in front of anyone unless someone else is eating.

[6strngs_2hmbkrs]

well, I'd say, the time to kiss, is either when you're saying goodnight (you better walk her to her door!) or just what everyone else said, if you have prolonged eye contact. and it seems like she's having a good time, if she's just like "yeah, sure, whatever" to everything you say, then don't even bother. be sure to be a gentleman, and act mature. open doors, complement (but not too much otherwise she knows you are just trying to get brownie points) make sure that you pay for the whole date, do not let her spend a dime (don't be rude) but if she starts reaching into her purse, just say something like "i've got it" or "it's my treat" or something like that. umm, when you get into the movie theater, before the movie starts, talk to her, don't just be sitting there doing nothing. and, also talk to her a little bit during the movie, not a lot, but just say something everynow and then, don't try to have a full fledged conversation, but just make a joke or something every now and then, just to let her know that you're still paying attention to her. and, if the date is going good so far, then partway through the movie, or if there is a scary part or something, reach over and hold her hand.
if you're the shy type of person, and there is some awkward silence, generally most conversations start with a question or statement... so, ask her something about her self, or ask her what her favorite movie/candy/drink/etc. is just to get a conversation up and running, if there is alot of awkward silence, then you can know that you're not getting a kiss! but hey, if the date goes great, but at the end she just gives you a hug, then just accept that, maybe she isn't the type who kisses on the first date, I didn't kiss my current girlfriend until our third date. but, the best advice I can give you, though I'm sure you've heard it a million times, but that doesn't make it any less true, but, be yourself! and don't get nervous, you may be nervous, but try not to think about the fact that you are on a date or start worrying about a kiss or anything. just lay back and do what comes naturally... well... not anything that comes naturally.....

one last piece of advice......... BREATH MINTS!!!!
good luck dude, let me know how it goes

[Akira]

You'll both know when the time is right.

[MadGuitarest]

Do you give a goodnite kiss at door or in car?

[ren]

Do you give a goodnite kiss at door or in car?

At the door man... gotta walk her to the door...

[aschleman]

First impressions.... The most important part of a prospective relationship is the first impression. If you make a bad first impression you will have to spend the rest of the night making up for it. So go overboard just a little... When you pick her up dress nice (not too nice, but more than usual) pick a flower or something (nothing too exotic, just a small simple flower) Give her compliments in old English not slang... Example: don't say "You look HOT!"... say "You look really beautiful tonight"... she'll come back with either a "thank you." or "aw, that's sweet" if you get the latter... say "I'm not trying to be sweet, just being honest"..... you're in like Flinn (whatever that means.) The rest of the night just be yourself. Don't try to put on a show or impress her... most girls don't like showoffs. By her choosing to only go to a movie you can make two assumptions... she's either A. a conservative girl... or B. she's not that interested... I would choose A and develop your gameplan around that. haha. Treat her like a lady and just be yourself though, that's the most important thing. If the kiss doesn't come naturally then don't worry yourself... You should be more worried about getting a second date!!!!

[Leedogg]

Some girls are uncomfortable eating in front of guys. I'm not one of them, but I've heard my friends say it before.

I know girls like that too. It's funny to me that they fear they're being offensive. There's a girl who's office across the hall from mine and sometimes I'll wander into her office while she's eating and she gets really redfaced and embarassed. Very weird. :confused:

[hunter60]

As strange and metaphysical as this sounds, you WILL know when the time is right. There are signs as noted by countless others in the forum here. Watch for them and as pointed out, be yourself. Nothing more, nothing less. If you're really interested in this girl, show her that.

There are a couple of sure fire signs that I always look for; lingering eye contact, or if she drops her eyes when she laughs and the lip chewing while you're standing at the door saying goodnight. That usally leads to a goodnight kiss.

[Andrew Sa]

Tell her that her shoe laces are untied and when she's not looking go in for the kill.

You just gotta love the social skills (not to mention fool-proof advice) of mr Excretions!

Dude, you shouldnt be trying anything just for that kiss, just go with it hey...if you really enjoy eachothers company and things can move on, then they will...just make sure that she realises that you are interrested...the amount of times I've lost out because she thinks I am gay or summin!...

[Cryptic Excretions]

You just gotta love the social skills (not to mention fool-proof advice) of mr Excretions!

Dude, you shouldnt be trying anything just for that kiss, just go with it hey...if you really enjoy eachothers company and things can move on, then they will...just make sure that she realises that you are interrested...the amount of times I've lost out because she thinks I am gay or summin!...
Ahem... That's Dr. Excretions to you.

[iiholly]

I've heard girls say that before too, Holly.

You'll know when the time is right to kiss. If the opportunity doesn't present itself, you'll just end up looking like a jackarse if you go in for the kill and she gives you the cheek.

So just be a gentleman, open the door for her, maybe bring a flower, tell her she looks nice, be courteous and respectful and you'll get what you want.

No joe panties!

Haha get what you want, that sounds so dirty.

[Pantallica1]

No joe panties!

Haha get what you want, that sounds so dirty.

Only because you have a warped mind, my sweetness. ;)

(Ok, I've re-read it, and it's a little dirty, but oh well!.)

[MadGuitarest]

well had date last nite, she totally lead me on and then said maybe 2 a second date...but that means no so f her

[Akira]

well had date last nite, she totally lead me on and then said maybe 2 a second date...but that means no so f her

Maybe? Is that all? :confused:

[ren]

Ah, the time honoured tradition of getting a free movie/meal/whatever out of someone... Women have the advantage here, in as far as blokes pretty much never say no...

It might just be me.... maybe if we all played harder to get, we could turn this thing around? :D

Sorry to hear it didn't pan out dude - plenty more fish in the sea and all that. My suggestion would be to stay friendly with her and see if you can get in with any of her mates - you'll have more success if you get a positive introduction...

[Akira]

I ended up getting sick of going after a girl and getting led on, or going out with them for a month (if that), and then getting the "we should just be friends line", or the "I just want to be on my own" line (and then they go out with someone else the next day). So, I gave up on girls. Then, by chance, I met Sophie (by chance I mean that if it was 2 mins earlier/later I wouldn't have met her), and we've now been going out for just over 2 years.

So I would say, don't try too hard to find a girl, just be cool and things will fall into place.

[fingertricks]

I think that the traditional date of a dinner and a movie is not good for a first date. Especially if you hardly know someone. Sitting in a movie theater doesn't give you any time to get to know each other and dinner is to boring. Something more fun like bowling where you guys can move around and laugh. A dinner and a movie seems more intimate and should wait for at least the second date. Besides, something different might set you apart from the rest and will leave a good impression on her for a second date.

If you want to move in for the kiss then just look into her eyes with a kind of serious I’m into you look. And if she gives it back then she’s all for a kiss. But if she breaks eye contact and starts looking around or moves her whole body away then no deal.

[MadGuitarest]

Yeah, we have been friends for some time and she told me how much she liked me and thought this could work as a relationship, but then last nite we were on her porch and she broke eye contact some times, but she said she wanted to take it slow a day before the a date, but its funny how she didnt want to with her last boyfriend. She did this too one of my friends also. So anyways f it

[x0o_BurnOut_o0x]

Wow, either all of you guys in here are actually gentlemen or are just bull****ting. I have NEVER had a boyfriend who payed for anything. Not that Im complaining, I prefer to pay for myself, but it does seem that the old image of a guy in a tux opening doors and paying for dinner and what not is in actuality a dying breed.

[x0o_BurnOut_o0x]

Oh, and sorry for your luck, some chicks can be assholes, but occasionaly youll find one that isnt phsycotic, and is actually pretty cool.

To tell you the truth men as a whole have found more phsycotic girlfriends than i thought existed.

[6strngs_2hmbkrs]

I think that the traditional date of a dinner and a movie is not good for a first date. Especially if you hardly know someone. Sitting in a movie theater doesn't give you any time to get to know each other and dinner is to boring. Something more fun like bowling where you guys can move around and laugh. A dinner and a movie seems more intimate and should wait for at least the second date. Besides, something different might set you apart from the rest and will leave a good impression on her for a second date.
my first date with my current girlfriend we went to a school dance, then midnight bowling afterwards. it was so much fun, plus I got to kiss her... like 10 times... and now we've been going out for 6 months as of tomorrow... but she's leaving tomorrow so were celebrating it tonight.
Wow, either all of you guys in here are actually gentlemen or are just bull****ting. I have NEVER had a boyfriend who payed for anything. Not that Im complaining, I prefer to pay for myself, but it does seem that the old image of a guy in a tux opening doors and paying for dinner and what not is in actuality a dying breed.
as I said before, my girlfriend and I have been going out for 6 months. and she has only paid for one date out of that whole time, and that was only because she had a giftcard for the movie theater, so she actually didn't end up spending anything... same deal with tonight, she's got a giftcard to a restaraunt, but if it ends up costing more then how much the gift card covers, then I'm picking up the rest. so... yeah... and I always open the door for her. but no, I don't wear a suit... pretty much just some ripped jeans and a t-shirt for me...

[6strngs_2hmbkrs]

oh hey, and sorry about your date... there's better girls out there, it's just more of a waiting game. the first girl I ever went out with pretty much did the same thing... except, after the first date (no kiss btw) I would call her for a second date, and she'd say either that she was busy or she'd say yes and then call me back at the last second and cancel the date and say that something came up... she lead me on like that for 2 months... but about a month after that whole fiasco, is when I met my current girlfriend, so, just give it some time, and a better girl will come around.

[hunter60]

Sorry dude. It happens I guess. My advice is this; just keep a decent attitude with her. Be nice and friendly. You may be surprised six months down the road. And if not, hey, your rep as a really decent guy after this will most certainly help with other ladies a little further down the road.

And as far as 'gentlemen' being a dying breed, I don't know about that. I really believe that there are more of us out there than people might want to admit. In the end, you have to be who you are. I never treat women poorly. It's just bad mojo. If think a woman special then you have to treat her that way. If it works out, great. If not, you have not lost much other than some cash for a date and maybe a couple of pangs in the heart.

They heal.

So, as others have said, stay cool and don't look. That's almost always when you find her.

Good luck.

[Cryptic Excretions]

I ended up getting sick of going after a girl and getting led on, or going out with them for a month (if that), and then getting the "we should just be friends line", or the "I just want to be on my own" line (and then they go out with someone else the next day). So, I gave up on girls. Then, by chance, I met Sophie (by chance I mean that if it was 2 mins earlier/later I wouldn't have met her), and we've now been going out for just over 2 years.

So I would say, don't try too hard to find a girl, just be cool and things will fall into place.
I think I would have to agree with Akira. Seems as though the best things are never forced, but allowed to grow naturally.

[iiholly]

I've never paid for a date. Usually it just works out that way, and the guy doesn't ask me to pay nor do we even talk about it. I don't mind paying, even if it is a bad date atleast I got some free stuff.

As for the first date thing, I wouldn't worry about it too much. Just because you're going on dates with someone doesn't mean you can't pursuit anyone else.

[Pantallica1]

Sorry dude. It happens I guess. My advice is this; just keep a decent attitude with her. Be nice and friendly. You may be surprised six months down the road. And if not, hey, your rep as a really decent guy after this will most certainly help with other ladies a little further down the road.

And as far as 'gentlemen' being a dying breed, I don't know about that. I really believe that there are more of us out there than people might want to admit. In the end, you have to be who you are. I never treat women poorly. It's just bad mojo. If think a woman special then you have to treat her that way. If it works out, great. If not, you have not lost much other than some cash for a date and maybe a couple of pangs in the heart.

They heal.

So, as others have said, stay cool and don't look. That's almost always when you find her.

Good luck.

Very well said. I do all the gentlemen things that men should do for women, so a dying breed? I think not. You're just looking in the wrong place.

[Cryptic Excretions]

Very well said. I do all the gentlemen things that men should do for women, so a dying breed? I think not. You're just looking in the wrong place.
Well, I'd go both ways on that one. I would agree that yes you're looking in the wrong places, but having just looked out the window seconds ago to see a jackass neighbor peel out through the parking lot because he thinks he's a hot shot or something... well, I do also think that tactful, decent people are becoming somewhat scarce. I'm a cross between both. I can give out about as insightful of a thought as you could imagine it and punctuate it with the stupidest, jerk-like nonsense.

[hunter60]

"Well, I'd go both ways on that one. I would agree that yes you're looking in the wrong places, but having just looked out the window seconds ago to see a jackass neighbor peel out through the parking lot because he thinks he's a hot shot or something... well, I do also think that tactful, decent people are becoming somewhat scarce. I'm a cross between both. I can give out about as insightful of a thought as you could imagine it and punctuate it with the stupidest, jerk-like nonsense."

That just proves that you're human like the rest of us. If I had a dime for every time I did something amazingly stupid, I would be a rich man...

[Akira]

Am I the only one in a relationship where the man shares the cost of dinner etc with the woman?

[6strngs_2hmbkrs]

Am I the only one in a relationship where the man shares the cost of dinner etc with the woman?
yep, I just went to dinner with my gf last night, she had a $25 gift card and the meal came out to $31.24 + tip... so, I picked up the extra $6.24 and the tip. so yeah... and the best part is, that she has a job, and I don't, so, I'm struggling to be able to afford everything we do, and she could easily afford it, and I still don't let her pay. we agreed that she would only pay for it only if I absolutely couldn't... and that hasn't happened yet... so

[Akira]

yep, I just went to dinner with my gf last night, she had a $25 gift card and the meal came out to $31.24 + tip... so, I picked up the extra $6.24 and the tip. so yeah... and the best part is, that she has a job, and I don't, so, I'm struggling to be able to afford everything we do, and she could easily afford it, and I still don't let her pay. we agreed that she would only pay for it only if I absolutely couldn't... and that hasn't happened yet... so

Pfft.

Me and Sophie just go halves on everything and lend each other money if we need it.

And no, this wasn't due to me being a tight son of a. We both saw it as the most logical thing to do.

[Pantallica1]

I think after a year or two of dating, it's okay to let the woman pay for some things, but only if she offers. Because after that point, what's yours is hers and what's hers is hers, so it makes no difference.

[Cryptic Excretions]

Or you can keep what's in your wallet like me and just become a hermit and never date. Yeah!!! Go Team!!!

[ScottMoney]

I think dinner is a bad idea for a first date because you usually feel somewhat uncomfortable eating in front of someone you just met and want to make a good impression on.

I also think movies make really good first dates because there's less of a chance to have the classic ackward silences. You're either making chat in the car or during the movie.

Lastly, kissing on a first date is a bad idea unless you have no intention of eventually sparking a relationship with that girl. I think the guy should just take the initiative and give the girl a hug or something that keeps off the tension. That way she doesn't think you're just trying to get in her pants! :P

[MadGuitarest]

its funny, last nite i went to the girls house for a party, and I was like an hour and a half early....and we were talking and i totally went for the kill and kissed her, then we made out for like 5 mins...so yeah ,i dont know whats going on!

[Akira]

...so yeah ,i dont know whats going on!

Why don't you ask her?

[6strngs_2hmbkrs]

its funny, last nite i went to the girls house for a party, and I was like an hour and a half early....and we were talking and i totally went for the kill and kissed her, then we made out for like 5 mins...so yeah ,i dont know whats going on!
http://members.aol.com/greg51090/images/quagmire.jpg

[iiholly]

Or you can keep what's in your wallet like me and just become a hermit and never date. Yeah!!! Go Team!!!

Clearly that could be the answer to most of lives social problems.

Oh Mad, was she drunk? Because if she was drunk, it so doesn't count.

[Hammurabi]

...if she was drunk, it so doesn't count.

Sure it does. If guys have to be held accountable for their actions while drunk so do girls.

[ren]

Sure it does. If guys have to be held accountable for their actions while drunk so do girls.

Amen.... As long as she was conscious ( :eek: ), it's good.... I've pulled a few fuglies when I've been drunk, but denying it happened isn't going to change it...

[Akira]

I've never taken advantage of anything whilst drunk, apart from the beer supply.

[ren]

I've never taken advantage of anything whilst drunk, apart from the beer supply.

Nicely put, although that's what I was trying to say... Is it taking advantage? If I was drunk when I kissed the girl, I strongly doubt that the girl would think she had taken advantage of me...

As long as no-one gets hurt it's cool - some people only loosen up enough to have a personality when drunk, others fall over after one drink (hence the consciousness comment). I don't think it's as simple as 'if she was drunk, it so doesn't count'....

Anyway, moving back on topic.... was she drunk Mr Mad? :D