weird song?

[Ksocr39]

it's kind of a weird format...well...not too bad i hope. it's not really sad, but in hermonic keys..i dn just tell me wut u think, it seems weird to me but i like it


~gone~

i'm gonna free myself
makin my way down the road
i'm gonna fly away
spreadin my wings, let me soar
i'm goin away
far away
i'm wishin now
to be myself

i'm gonna break the chains
cause they held me down to you
i'm gonna let me go
into the world i never knew
i'm goin away
far away
i'm wishin now
to be myself

(bridge)
you don't know me
you can't see me
you don't know if
i still exist
no ropes are tied
to my life
i can't hold on
for you solong

(Chorus):
and i break
and i lose it
now i'm gone
on my own
i thought it through my head
i had it all planed out
i was packed and set
and then i broke away

i'm gone i'm gone
i'm tellin you
i'm gone i'm gone
i'm tellin you
i'm gone i'm gone
i've broken away

guitar solo

and i break
from the pain
now i'm gone
on my own
i thought it through my head
i had it all planed out
i was packed and set
and then i broke away
i thought it through my head
i had it all planned out
i was packed and set
and then i broke away

(slower)
i'm on my own
all alone
i'm by myself
devoid of chains
i made it through
now i'm gone

[Ksocr39]

wow no one has replied? i'd really like some feedback on this song, b/c i want my band to play it...but they think its about suicide...and its not, but they r gay so wut ev. actually they r really cool..they mainly rn't sure if we should play it b/c its not really the type of music we play...but u never no
PLZ! FEEDBACK!

[aschleman]

Doesn't seem to be about suicide at all... just getting away from something that's holding you down. It's pretty good. Lyrics are all better critiqued when you have the music to go with it. I thought it wasn't too bad though.

[Jolly McJollyson]

Don't type in shorthand.

That said...

This song reminds me of U2's "Beautiful Day" (structurally, I mean). I'd like to hear this with the music behind them, because the theme has been used, reused, and used again by various artists (for an example see Whitesnake's "Here I Go Again"). I think the music in a song with a commonplace theme can sometimes make up for that.

Oh, and for God's sake don't say "I'm gonna let me go." "It's time to let me go," "It's time for me to go," or even "I think it's time to go."

This song is clearly not about suicide. Your friends should stop listening to bad Emo music or Papa Roach, whichever.

[Andrew Sa]

Your friends should stop listening to bad Emo music or Papa Roach, whichever.

how ridiculous is that new papa roach song...you can tell they are just an old and obsolete new metal band, trying anything (even emo) for just one more hit...kinda like Motley Crue...except nowhere near as bad...Motley Crue has almost spoiled their legendary heyday by releasing absolute crap now...bands should know when to give it up...

Is it better to burn out than to fade away?

[CW14]

*cough*METALLICA*cough, cough*

I mean, just look at Hendrix, he died before he released any crap, and he's considered a god these days.

Everybody hates Metallica now because of that St. Poo Music

[ren]

Is it better to burn out than to fade away?

Not for the bank balance :D

Even when you become a laughing stock, your records will still sell because people wonder if you really have gotten as bad as everyone says. The fact that most artists in the chart sell any records amazes me.

In the UK, the 'crazy frog' version of Axel F was number one for something like 5 weeks, and it's some kind of ring tone inspired crap, with a bloke doing a vocal impression of a vespa? WTF? You can't credit the buying public (probably mostly kids) with any taste...

Would Hendrix rather be a legend, but dead, or mediocre but alive?

[Andrew Sa]

That frog thing is a ****!

As for the Metallica issue...I must agree, and I am ashamed to admit that I actually own that album...was one of those things where I just had to see if they were as crap as everyone said they were....so I guess you are right.

[Jolly McJollyson]

how ridiculous is that new papa roach song...you can tell they are just an old and obsolete new metal band, trying anything (even emo) for just one more hit...kinda like Motley Crue...except nowhere near as bad...Motley Crue has almost spoiled their legendary heyday by releasing absolute crap now...bands should know when to give it up...

Is it better to burn out than to fade away?
Yeah, that new track is horrendous. However, I never liked their original hit, I mean that one line "Suffocation, no breathing" pissed me off to no end. Thanks, guys, I didn't know what "suffocation" meant until your song brought forth it's brilliant ray of light.

Suffocation? Oh, that's "no breathing." Thanks a million!

[ericthecableguy]

The lyrics are all right but you need to take out the reference to breaking chains as it has become such a cliche. that said, you should never feel bound by normal song structure. :cool: