Kids Saying's

[mike&theblues]

A number of Primary (Grade) Schools were doing a project on "The Sea." Kids
were asked to draw pictures or write about their experiences. Teachers got
together to compare the results and put together some of the comments that
were funny and some that were sad. Here are some of them. The kids were all
aged between 5 and 8 years. . . . ..

This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)

Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)

If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all
round you, you are in continent. (Wayne age 7)

I think sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily
Richardson. She's not my friend any more. (Kylie age 6)

A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy age 8)

My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs.
(Millie age 6)

When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean.
Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the
wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans.
(William age 7)

I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do
mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)

I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming
and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mom, and my big sister has just
got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy age 6) [WOW]

Some fish are dangerous. Jelly fish can sting. Electric eels can give you a
shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to
plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)

My Mom has fish nets, but doesn't catch any fish. (Laura age 5)

When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy
small. (Kevin age 6) [no comment]

When me and Sarah went to the sea side in the summer holidays, we hid in the
sand dunes and watched my big sister doing it with her boy friend. It was
fun. (Lauren age 7)

A submarine goes under the water like a fish, but it has lots of seamen
inside. (Emma age 5)

When I grow up, I want to be captain of a big ship, and have lots of
sailors. (Valerie age 6)

On holiday my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very
fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot up her fanny. (Julie
age 7 ) [dang]

I just thought these were funny so thought I would share them. :D

[6strngs_2hmbkrs]

I seriously can't stop laughing... that's so funny! lmao

[Akira]

Lmfao! They are so hilarious.

[Jolly McJollyson]

Wow, laughing so hard...

[crazywolf]

My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs.
(Millie age 6)
I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming
and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mom, and my big sister has just
got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy age 6) [WOW]
When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy
small. (Kevin age 6) [no comment]

These are some funny funny kids. WOW!!

[Andrew Sa]

hehe, I wish I was one of those funny kids>

In fact, I'm pretty sure one of those kids' surnames is McJollyson

[Akira]

In fact, I'm pretty sure one of those kids' surnames is McJollyson

Don't tempt fate... please.

[GuitarPsy]

short to say: kids these days are screwed in the head? :rolleyes:

[kingdavid]

:D :D
Well, cold water does make the willy small!!!!
That, and circumcision, the painkiller injection one is given before the cut. Man, I won't claim I'm that big, but I swear I didn't know the darn thing can shrink THAT MUCH!! :eek:
Kids are nice. Honest. Tell it as they see it.
By the way, when Jesus of Nazareth said that the kingdom of God belongs to those who are like kids at heart (or something to that effect) he knew what he was talking about. Even if you're not christian, even if you're atheist, you look at kids, and look at that statement, and it makes a lot of sense. Racism, wealth, beauty, religion, kids aren't bothered by any of that ****.

[Hammurabi]

Racism, wealth, beauty, religion, kids aren't bothered by any of that ****.

No, you just haven't met many kids. Kids can be real bastards.

[Cryptic Excretions]

No, you just haven't met many kids. Kids can be real bastards.
I had quite a paragraph ready to go on this, but for many reasons I'll just say I'm not a kid person.

[Hammurabi]

I had quite a paragraph ready to go on this

Agreeing or disagreeing with me?

[Cryptic Excretions]

Agreeing or disagreeing with me?
Agreeing. 10 characters

[kingdavid]

No, you just haven't met many kids. Kids can be real bastards.
By kid, I mean at the age before the innocence sets out. I guess coz of TV and early daycare/school, the innocence tends to set out early these days. But I'm referring to kids at that age where they're not aware of these things, but are old enough to want to play together and so on. An age where, for instance, in apartheid South Africa, the white master's kid wants to play with the black servant's kid, but their parents(both colours) stop them, each for different reasons.

[Andrew Sa]

Oh man, I was a kid in Apartheid South Africa (well for a little while, being 19 now). In fairness, my family is and was one of the most liberal and non-racist families around. I remeber one day when my brother was about 5, he was talking to my mother, asking her if one of his mates could come round to the house...she figured it would be appropriate to mee the kids mother first and all of that stuff. They decided to meet outside the school. She then asked "Chris, so where is Jacob?"
Chris replied that Jacob was the guy in the blue shirt and grey shorts(as were most people seeing as it was the uniform). after many minutes rtrying to describe Jacob so my mother would see him, Chris decided just to walk over and bring Jacob right to her...he then walked right up to the only black guy in sight...somehow the fact the he was the only black guy didnt seem like a good description so as to identify him....isn't that great.

Sadly, I think that the age of kids(of which you speak, the age at which innocence is lost and all) is getting younger and younger...and here in Britain "Kids" dont exist.

[Akira]

and here in Britain "Kids" dont exist.

That is so true.

In the local paper last week, a 10 year old got issued with an ASBO. Wtf. :eek:

[Andrew Sa]

I saw a kid drop his school bag the other day...he was maybe 7..."****! ****ing Shyte Bag, ****ing **** Of A Bag! **** **** ****!"...and he was like 7!

[Cryptic Excretions]

I saw a kid drop his school bag the other day...he was maybe 7..."****! ****ing Shyte Bag, ****ing **** Of A Bag! **** **** ****!"...and he was like 7!
You should've heard me when I was about that age. I got my mouth when I was in the 3rd grade I think it was. Hey, I can't say my dad never gave me anything. I got his mouth.

[kingdavid]

....somehow the fact the he was the only black guy didnt seem like a good description so as to identify him....isn't that great...
Yeah, it is.
Like I said, Jesus of Nazareth knew what he was talking about. Regardless of your take on religion, I think you can see this point.
I'm trying to get back whatever of that purity I can manage to get back. It's hard, but I'm trying. I'm not rudely telling beggars off (although I'm not necessarily giving them money, coz I don't accept begging as a solution to afflictions). I try to look at more than a girl's boobz or butt. I'm trying to get my dick to stop kidding itself that it can think for me. I'm trying to be nice. To have a good heart. To treat people as innocent until proven guilty.
It's hard, but I'mtrying.

[Cryptic Excretions]

Yeah, it is.
Like I said, Jesus of Nazareth knew what he was talking about. Regardless of your take on religion, I think you can see this point.
I'm trying to get back whatever of that purity I can manage to get back. It's hard, but I'm trying. I'm not rudely telling beggars off (although I'm not necessarily giving them money, coz I don't accept begging as a solution to afflictions). I try to look at more than a girl's boobz or butt. I'm trying to get my dick to stop kidding itself that it can think for me. I'm trying to be nice. To have a good heart. To treat people as innocent until proven guilty.
It's hard, but I'mtrying.
I think I get what you're saying. Probably because I share the same opinion. All I can say is I sit next to a girl who is, in typical male terms, a knockout. She's flat out good looking all over in a sexual and nonsexual way. But I know it's just my oggling side that just doesn't seem to shut up no matter what I do. Best part of all is that I know I can't bull**** myself into thinking that there'd be anything that could bloom past coworkers. A conversation with her alone says that loud and clear. Not that we don't get along, but you just know how different you are from some people in a conversation and, well, in this case someone that frequently talks about sports, getting out of the house, doing things, having a life, etc. isn't going to mesh well with the hermit next to her that sits inside, peeks out of his blinds, and shuns the world. And I find it most degrading to myself and to her that I just sit in my cubicle fantasizing on and on hoping for just about anything but at the same time knowing that nothing will ever happen. It's all just a pipe dream. And it's not like she's the only one. Just about anyone could get my mind going. It's all just a physical attraction. It's always been just that. I've never felt any emotion for anyone. My parents always told me they "loved" me, but I get the feeling that if they did I'd have felt it. I know my mom cares about me, but caring about someone and loving someone are two different things and I don't find a future of love to be probable. I mostly just wish I could grow up and be done with it. I also tire of hearing people tell me I need to get out more and get a girlfriend. Even my boss and coworkers are starting to say things. But I've already decided against it. It's a decision I've made and plan to follow through with. If I really wanted a girlfriend I'd get out more, since I don't care enough, oh well. My gain, my loss, whatever, it doesn't really matter to me. I'm too much of a dick anyway. If I was a super hero, my power would be to be able to piss anyone off within a mere sentance of casual talk. I'm that good. It's not that I ever intend to piss people off, it's just that I know what I'm talking about and what I mean and the people I'm taking to interpret my words completely differently from what I meant. Next thing I know I'm getting a good lecture on how to not be a dick when I didn't even mean to be. I bring malevolence by nature. Alrighty, now that you've all got a big dose of what goes on in my mind. Sorry for going on an unrelated tangent.

[6strngs_2hmbkrs]

I think I get what you're saying. Probably because I share the same opinion. All I can say is I sit next to a girl who is, in typical male terms, a knockout. She's flat out good looking all over in a sexual and nonsexual way. But I know it's just my oggling side that just doesn't seem to shut up no matter what I do. Best part of all is that I know I can't bull**** myself into thinking that there'd be anything that could bloom past coworkers. A conversation with her alone says that loud and clear. Not that we don't get along, but you just know how different you are from some people in a conversation and, well, in this case someone that frequently talks about sports, getting out of the house, doing things, having a life, etc. isn't going to mesh well with the hermit next to her that sits inside, peeks out of his blinds, and shuns the world. And I find it most degrading to myself and to her that I just sit in my cubicle fantasizing on and on hoping for just about anything but at the same time knowing that nothing will ever happen. It's all just a pipe dream. And it's not like she's the only one. Just about anyone could get my mind going. It's all just a physical attraction. It's always been just that. I've never felt any emotion for anyone. My parents always told me they "loved" me, but I get the feeling that if they did I'd have felt it. I know my mom cares about me, but caring about someone and loving someone are two different things and I don't find a future of love to be probable. I mostly just wish I could grow up and be done with it. I also tire of hearing people tell me I need to get out more and get a girlfriend. Even my boss and coworkers are starting to say things. But I've already decided against it. It's a decision I've made and plan to follow through with. If I really wanted a girlfriend I'd get out more, since I don't care enough, oh well. My gain, my loss, whatever, it doesn't really matter to me. I'm too much of a dick anyway. If I was a super hero, my power would be to be able to piss anyone off within a mere sentance of casual talk. I'm that good. It's not that I ever intend to piss people off, it's just that I know what I'm talking about and what I mean and the people I'm taking to interpret my words completely differently from what I meant. Next thing I know I'm getting a good lecture on how to not be a dick when I didn't even mean to be. I bring malevolence by nature. Alrighty, now that you've all got a big dose of what goes on in my mind. Sorry for going on an unrelated tangent.
dude, you say that you don't see a future of love in your life, but yet you've sworn off dating, it's pretty much like you're making that future for yourself. seriously dude, I never really felt like my parents loved me, even if they said that they did. let alone me feeling any love back... maybe that's just cause I've got the whole "typical teenager, don't want to associate with my parents" type of thing going on... but I thought that would wind up old and alone... but then I met this girl, and I started going out with her, and now I love her, and I just know that I do (I know that sounds like something you hear in chick flicks, but it's true!) so, I'm not going to tell you to go out and get a girlfriend, but, it's seriously the best thing in the world to be in love, and I wouldn't trade it even for the best guitar rig in the world

[Akira]

dude, you say that you don't see a future of love in your life, but yet you've sworn off dating, it's pretty much like you're making that future for yourself. seriously dude, I never really felt like my parents loved me, even if they said that they did. let alone me feeling any love back... maybe that's just cause I've got the whole "typical teenager, don't want to associate with my parents" type of thing going on... but I thought that would wind up old and alone... but then I met this girl, and I started going out with her, and now I love her, and I just know that I do (I know that sounds like something you hear in chick flicks, but it's true!) so, I'm not going to tell you to go out and get a girlfriend, but, it's seriously the best thing in the world to be in love, and I wouldn't trade it even for the best guitar rig in the world

Guitars will never break your heart unlike girls! Having said that i'm in a long term relationship (2 years) and I enjoy it. But, hypothetically speaking, if I had a big tour (with the band I don't have), and she said she doesn't want me to go on tour, then I would just leave her be and go on tour. Yes it sounds like a pretty cold thing to do but I want to control my life, not let it be controlled. Fortunatly I am able to please both parties.

[ren]

It's just about picking the right partner. I was with a woman who seemed OK, but while preparing for some session stints I was practicing alot (as you would). She went mental, and threatened to smash up one of my guitars - a martin acoustic, I guess because it was fragile compared to an electric...

Obviously, I told her where she could shove that.... and to my suprise she went ahead and slammed the thing into the ground. I successfully fought the temptation to do the same to her, but told her to get out blah blah blah.

Have obviously now upgraded to a more tolerant model, and all is well....

Hopefully, everyone finds someone who 'gets them'..... and is respectful of the life choices they make....

and obviously, big t*ts are a bonus :eek:

[iiholly]

Yes! We have a hermit on guitar tricks. Just what I always wanted. :)

Not to say you shouldn't have optimism about relationships or whatever, but thats your choice.

[kingdavid]

...She went mental, and threatened to smash up one of my guitars - a martin acoustic...
:eek:
:eek:
:eek:
THAT IS DIRESPECTFUL GODAMMIT!@!!@!@#$#$
What, she think you're a kid or something?!?!?!?
Me and my cousins were playing checkers one day. My auntie (their mom) felt it was keeping us from doing our chores (which it wasn't). She picked up the board and the pieces and threw it into the pit latrine (I was part raised in rural Kenya, so the latrine). The board was not those things we used to make out of cardboard, draw, and use bottle tops for pieces. Nah nah. It was a board bought from the shop, a gift to one of my cousins fro doing well in school or something. For a rural Kenyan boy, it was the ultimate gift. A rarerity in the entire county. Then auntie(I love her by the way) throws it into the PIT LATRINE.
I hope I never get a girl who tries to get between me and the things that matter to me. I guess it's that thing people have, of thinking that they can change you once you get things going.
About love, it's nice to be loved. If you can find it, it's nice to have it.

[Jolly McJollyson]

Obviously, I told her where she could shove that.... and to my suprise she went ahead and slammed the thing into the ground. I successfully fought the temptation to do the same to her, but told her to get out blah blah blah.

I hope you made her pay for it/took her ass to court.

[Andrew Sa]

I'm with Jolly...she should have paid for it...what a bitch...but this all goes back to my theory (still untested) that a guitarist/musician girlfriend would be amazing...not only is that hot, but she'd understand why sometimes you just gotta spend time with your guits.

[iiholly]

Well, you must have done something to make her to want to smash the guitar. I mean most people don't just go around destroying things for no reason.

[Andrew Sa]

Well, you must have done something to make her to want to smash the guitar. I mean most people don't just go around destroying things for no reason.

it seems iiholly is a woman before she is a guitarist! hehe

[iiholly]

Well, I have been female longer than I've been a guitarist what can I say? But also when hearing any story like ," man my mom was screaming at me last night," my first reaction is well what did you do? Almost majority of the time I have found there is "cause for every reaction."

[Andrew Sa]

yeah I knoiw, but I dunno if anything warrants the breaking of a Martin.

[iiholly]

Maybe not to someone who doesn't know all that much about guitars. I mean I'd never break a martin personally, no matter how pissed I was. I'd steal it rather.

[Leedogg]

Maybe not to someone who doesn't know all that much about guitars. I mean I'd never break a martin personally, no matter how pissed I was. I'd steal it rather.


Watch out, this one's shifty. http://homepage.ntlworld.com/cmmsdm/smilies/shiftyeyes.gif

[kingdavid]

Well, you must have done something to make her to want to smash the guitar. I mean most people don't just go around destroying things for no reason.
Bull.
Nothing justifies breaking up someone's guitar. And a Martin to boot (we all know how cheap they are).
That's like if someone was a race car enthusiast, or a biking fan, and has this souped up Ferrari or Harley, then his girlfriend (FOR WHATEVER REASON, I DON'T CARE) burns the said ferrari or the Harley, and then when he talks about it, you're like "...you must have done something to make her do it..."
Not gonna work for me. If I did something to make her do it, meaning I'm the guilty one, then who is to say she couldn't have been just as guilty, and simply did it out of her own madness?
By the way, I have a crash on you, and if we ever get married, don't ever pull that stunt on me.

[ren]

Well, you must have done something to make her to want to smash the guitar. I mean most people don't just go around destroying things for no reason.

Well, I guess I had been playing for a while - she was basically such a jealous person that even a guitar seemed a threat to her.....

Sad really... I was happy enough to escape intact to be honest...